How do you know when you have indeed come to a peak? Climbers who have scaled Mount Everest have no uncertainty the moment they reached the summit; similarly for me when I “conquered” Ben Nevis, Britain’s highest mountain.
Despite the snow and fog, we followed a well-trodden path marked by occasional stones on the sides. The peak itself was marked by a milestone stating its altitude, and at that point, we knew the only way to go was down!
If only the investment peaks and trough are marked by milestones on the ground.
The market is probably at its highest when it reaches a euphoric state of “nothing can possibly go wrong”. Greed often blinds one into expecting stock prices to escalate upwards indefinitely. Even big global financial institutions failed to see the turning point after five years of “low interest rate, high demand” environment.
Otherwise, they would not have been caught in the current credit crisis today. When the market corrects, fortune can reverse ever so quickly.
Let me share an insight into emotional investing as opposed to rational investing, which perhaps can shed some light on why so many investors are caught each time a bubble bursts.
First, we always choose “proven winners”. Sensible and logical, right? If we cannot win, we don’t even want to play. This emotion is reflected in our life choices. In the English Premier League, we only support the top teams. Racehorse punters will seldom bet on an underdog. Why? Because we want to win!
However, for investment success, it is crucial to understand that a past winner may not always repeat its act. In fact, it seldom does in consecutive years.
Second, we fall in love and yearn to stay with past winners even if their star has waned. When they have done well, we will always want to keep them or invest even more. Equity investment has paid off handsomely from 2003 through to 2007, resulting in almost five continuous years of confidence building.
While everyone loved equities, it would have been hard to find anyone who felt the same about bonds. Year-to-date, with equities down 50%, it probably feels like a betrayal of confidence and trust of a beloved partner. Yet, despite the anger, I believe there lingers feelings of love!
Third, we hate losers and we fear them for years. We despise asset classes that fail to perform and we continue to harbour that feeling for a long time until it’s proven that things have changed.
Between 2000 and 2003, the most common objections were “I hate unit trusts” and “I don’t trust equities after the technological crash.” It took two years before braver investors ventured back into the markets. And by 2005, after seeing the emerging markets’ resounding success, old wounds are forgotten and investors were asking specifically for more China/India/Russia funds! Hatred forgotten. Love found.
Hatred and fear in 2003 thus prevented many from investing when the market was recovering. As such, most investors are not early adopters when the cycle changes, usually taking years to unwind that hatred and fear. This emotional aspect prevents us from buying at the bottom and almost certainly made us buy at a high (instead of selling at a high).
But winners do not always win, just as losers do not always lose. Market cycle changes as the market evolves, matures and reinvents itself.
I read with some interest, the debate over the Employees Provident Fund (EPF) versus the KL Composite Index (KLCI) returns – while it seems that EPF is faring better today, the same analysis a year ago would probably have favoured KLCI. I bet that when the market recovers the story will reverse again.
It seems that to succeed in investing we should do the opposite of what our emotions are telling us. When you are greedy for more, maybe it’s time to sell. When you are already winning big, maybe it’s time to exit.
Remember, investing is not about finding your lifelong partner. So don’t ever fall in love or bear hatred for any asset for too long. Every dog has its day.
Commrnt by Tay Han Chong, Senior vice-president and senior head of division, Personal Financial Services Division, at UOB
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Changing role of the CEO
FORTUNE’S 2008 rankings of the top 500 companies in the world revealed that the number of those based in Asia has more than doubled since 2005, while the number of the fastest growing companies in the world based in Asia has likewise nearly doubled during that time.
The impact that such phenomenal growth in such a short period has had on the scope and nature of the Asia-Pacific CEOs’ role has been dramatic – not only greatly affecting how their businesses are organised but also fundamentally changing the way they organise themselves to deliver “success” on a whole new level.
These changes are expected to continue with even greater intensity as the macroeconomic climate becomes more volatile. Those companies that adopt a mindset and readiness for transformation will outperform the rest.
Pierre Cohade, Goodyear Tire Management Company (Shanghai) Ltd’s president, Asia Pacific Region, has modified Goodyear’s business model in China twice in the last four years. “In order to capture changing market opportunities, fast footwork is needed,” he says.
Successful Asia-Pacific CEOs are able to clearly anticipate both predictable and unpredictable events, and quickly develop a well-thought through change process that will deliver results no matter what the scenario.
In a recent Korn/Ferry survey, Asia-Pacific CEOs of some of the most prestigious companies in the world shared perspectives on their evolving priorities in this rapidly changing and uncertain global business environment.
While it is true that the region’s traditionally consensus-driven approach to leadership has served it well in the information economy, the findings of this survey and others reveal an urgent need for Asia-Pacific heads to become more proactive about and open to engaging their staff on an even more personal level to develop the next generation.
The new Asia-Pacific CEO
The quality of Asia-Pacific CEOs has increased significantly in recent years. Most would have worked in at least two to four countries in their career and aspire to become a global CEO before they retire.
In the context of hyper-growth and incessant pressure for Asian organisations to deliver high margins even as the rest of the global economy waivers, it is not surprising that managing a P&L (profit and loss account) is still seen as the number one experience essential to preparing an executive for success in an Asia-based CEO role.
Perhaps more interestingly though, possessing a background that includes creating human capital strategies ranked as second most important, trumping launching a new product, turning around a struggling part of the business, and even running a country operation.
The widely publicised shortage of specialist skills in every country in Asia was seen as the greatest challenge facing the CEOs here in the next three years and is no doubt contributing to this continued emphasis on people as much as profits. Local Asian companies in particular are inhibited in their global expansion plans because of insufficient talent.
The most effective Asia-Pacific CEOs have a clear, strategic view of their current and future talent needs – up to at least two to five years out.
The best of the best have implemented a systematic talent management process to identify gaps at all levels of the organisation and seamlessly integrate their business and talent strategies.
And, as intra-Asian commerce becomes more complex, an accent has been put on developing local talent who understands the market nuances instead of relying primarily on imports from the US and Europe. As a result, some believe that expatriate senior executives will eventually become “an endangered species” in emerging markets like Asia’s.
Redefining people skills for Asia
Staff management and development is ranked by the Asia-Pacific CEOs as more time-consuming than engaging with suppliers or customers and strategic planning.
This is attributed to the need for them to be personally involved in keeping important projects on track, in part due to their “understaffed management team.”
Not surprising, then, is the fact that most respondents listed “strong people development skills” as a key competency that will become more important for the Asia CEO in the next three years.
This was seen as being as important, in fact, as strong strategic thinking, and as more important than the ability to work across cultures or drive change. Though this is becoming somewhat of a global trend, I see this as a fundamental shift for Asia in two ways.
First, while in the past being a “people person” in Asia might have been primarily seen in terms of an executive’s ability to establish high-level “guanxi” with influencers in China, or to demonstrate appreciation for the loyalty of their long-time employees in Japan, today’s Asia -Pacific CEOs need to develop personal relationships with their staff at all levels.
Understanding the career ambitions and family and cultural situations of each employee creates lasting bonds and promotes stability and loyalty. In my years as an executive search consultant, I have always found positive personal relationships with the boss a much stronger retention device than money – this has become more the case in Asia than ever before.
Secondly, the Asia-Pacific CEOs, recognising the need to take a more participative approach to facing the challenges outlined earlier – which clearly require more than one person to solve – are becoming intimately involved in identifying high-potential employees and tailoring development and other programmes to empower them.
For this region’s relatively “hierarchical” leaders, such an approach will take some getting used to, especially in places like India and China where more of a “command and control” style of driving performance has been the norm.
What lies ahead
The role and voice of the Asia-Pacific CEO is increasing, and the boards and CEOs they report to are turning to their highest potential managers to assume the position, while also taking the time to understand and evaluate the leadership bench strength within their Asia-Pacific organisations for the long term.
Turning to the next five years, Asia-Pacific CEOs envisage their focus on the key developing markets of China and India to grow. Even more foresight and vision will be needed to enable them to work within an ever-changing landscape, while differentiating their strategies to achieve long-term competitive advantage.
Over the short to medium term, it is not practical to imagine that even these seasoned professionals will be able to drive meaningful and strategic change that results in the profits demanded of them without the support of strong teams across every level of their organisations.
Expatriate CEOs will necessarily become more focused on identifying and developing Asian talent as possible successors while Asian leaders must become more inclusive and warm and less formal in their approach to managing people.
As the Fortune rankings indicate, Asia is becoming a formidable player in the global arena. The time is now for a new style of leadership that will truly make the region the heart of international commerce.
The impact that such phenomenal growth in such a short period has had on the scope and nature of the Asia-Pacific CEOs’ role has been dramatic – not only greatly affecting how their businesses are organised but also fundamentally changing the way they organise themselves to deliver “success” on a whole new level.
These changes are expected to continue with even greater intensity as the macroeconomic climate becomes more volatile. Those companies that adopt a mindset and readiness for transformation will outperform the rest.
Pierre Cohade, Goodyear Tire Management Company (Shanghai) Ltd’s president, Asia Pacific Region, has modified Goodyear’s business model in China twice in the last four years. “In order to capture changing market opportunities, fast footwork is needed,” he says.
Successful Asia-Pacific CEOs are able to clearly anticipate both predictable and unpredictable events, and quickly develop a well-thought through change process that will deliver results no matter what the scenario.
In a recent Korn/Ferry survey, Asia-Pacific CEOs of some of the most prestigious companies in the world shared perspectives on their evolving priorities in this rapidly changing and uncertain global business environment.
While it is true that the region’s traditionally consensus-driven approach to leadership has served it well in the information economy, the findings of this survey and others reveal an urgent need for Asia-Pacific heads to become more proactive about and open to engaging their staff on an even more personal level to develop the next generation.
The new Asia-Pacific CEO
The quality of Asia-Pacific CEOs has increased significantly in recent years. Most would have worked in at least two to four countries in their career and aspire to become a global CEO before they retire.
In the context of hyper-growth and incessant pressure for Asian organisations to deliver high margins even as the rest of the global economy waivers, it is not surprising that managing a P&L (profit and loss account) is still seen as the number one experience essential to preparing an executive for success in an Asia-based CEO role.
Perhaps more interestingly though, possessing a background that includes creating human capital strategies ranked as second most important, trumping launching a new product, turning around a struggling part of the business, and even running a country operation.
The widely publicised shortage of specialist skills in every country in Asia was seen as the greatest challenge facing the CEOs here in the next three years and is no doubt contributing to this continued emphasis on people as much as profits. Local Asian companies in particular are inhibited in their global expansion plans because of insufficient talent.
The most effective Asia-Pacific CEOs have a clear, strategic view of their current and future talent needs – up to at least two to five years out.
The best of the best have implemented a systematic talent management process to identify gaps at all levels of the organisation and seamlessly integrate their business and talent strategies.
And, as intra-Asian commerce becomes more complex, an accent has been put on developing local talent who understands the market nuances instead of relying primarily on imports from the US and Europe. As a result, some believe that expatriate senior executives will eventually become “an endangered species” in emerging markets like Asia’s.
Redefining people skills for Asia
Staff management and development is ranked by the Asia-Pacific CEOs as more time-consuming than engaging with suppliers or customers and strategic planning.
This is attributed to the need for them to be personally involved in keeping important projects on track, in part due to their “understaffed management team.”
Not surprising, then, is the fact that most respondents listed “strong people development skills” as a key competency that will become more important for the Asia CEO in the next three years.
This was seen as being as important, in fact, as strong strategic thinking, and as more important than the ability to work across cultures or drive change. Though this is becoming somewhat of a global trend, I see this as a fundamental shift for Asia in two ways.
First, while in the past being a “people person” in Asia might have been primarily seen in terms of an executive’s ability to establish high-level “guanxi” with influencers in China, or to demonstrate appreciation for the loyalty of their long-time employees in Japan, today’s Asia -Pacific CEOs need to develop personal relationships with their staff at all levels.
Understanding the career ambitions and family and cultural situations of each employee creates lasting bonds and promotes stability and loyalty. In my years as an executive search consultant, I have always found positive personal relationships with the boss a much stronger retention device than money – this has become more the case in Asia than ever before.
Secondly, the Asia-Pacific CEOs, recognising the need to take a more participative approach to facing the challenges outlined earlier – which clearly require more than one person to solve – are becoming intimately involved in identifying high-potential employees and tailoring development and other programmes to empower them.
For this region’s relatively “hierarchical” leaders, such an approach will take some getting used to, especially in places like India and China where more of a “command and control” style of driving performance has been the norm.
What lies ahead
The role and voice of the Asia-Pacific CEO is increasing, and the boards and CEOs they report to are turning to their highest potential managers to assume the position, while also taking the time to understand and evaluate the leadership bench strength within their Asia-Pacific organisations for the long term.
Turning to the next five years, Asia-Pacific CEOs envisage their focus on the key developing markets of China and India to grow. Even more foresight and vision will be needed to enable them to work within an ever-changing landscape, while differentiating their strategies to achieve long-term competitive advantage.
Over the short to medium term, it is not practical to imagine that even these seasoned professionals will be able to drive meaningful and strategic change that results in the profits demanded of them without the support of strong teams across every level of their organisations.
Expatriate CEOs will necessarily become more focused on identifying and developing Asian talent as possible successors while Asian leaders must become more inclusive and warm and less formal in their approach to managing people.
As the Fortune rankings indicate, Asia is becoming a formidable player in the global arena. The time is now for a new style of leadership that will truly make the region the heart of international commerce.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Give constructive feedback
GIVING feedback is one of the most important interpersonal skills for any manager.
The purpose of constructive feedback is to provide information that will contribute to improvements and create better results.
For feedback to be useful, it has to be actionable, otherwise it’s likely that the situation or behaviour will recur.
Whenever you are giving feedback, keep in mind that you’ll probably have an ongoing relationship with this person, so use your feedback to reinforce good relations.
Let’s say that you’re giving constructive feedback to a member of your staff. Here are five steps to help you give good feedback:
1 TIME IT RIGHT
Make sure the time is right. The sooner the better, but if you’re upset about the situation — or your employee is — take a “timeout. This is preferable than giving or receiving feedback when one of you is already in a bad mood.
2 CHOOSE YOUR WORDS
The way you say something can have a great impact on the listener. Depending on your choice of words, you can establish an amicable feedback environment or a hostile one. Saying, “You need to do...” or “You’re not doing this properly,” can put the receiver on the defensive from the get-go. Using the pronoun “you” makes the comments personal and can be interpreted as condescending or highly critical.
Instead, say “I noticed that...” or “I understand that...” Beginning feedback phrases this way discusses the action or behaviour that needs to be changed, not the person.
3 BE POSITIVE
Positive feedback acknowledges good contributions and work well done. Give specific examples of what the person did well.
Doing so is more meaningful than a general “Good job!” comment that can be said to anyone, any time, and doesn’t even have to be sincere.
Let the receiver know the positive impact his contributions had on the department or organisation so he understand the results — this also lets him know that you see it and appreciate it. In addition, reinforcing the positive encourages more of the same.
4 BE DESCRIPTIVE
When giving constructive feedback, discuss what happened, not how you feel about what happened. Focus on the situation, describe it, and stay objective.
Give a reason why it’s an issue and state the impact it had on the rest of the staff, the organisation or the customer.
When you stick with the facts, you can discuss them more easily. Being specific and clear assists the listener in understanding the issue and what requires changes.
5 COLLABORATE
It’s not up to you to come up with all the solutions by yourself, although you can offer suggestions that you think would be helpful.
Make a point of involving the recipient in this crucial part of the feedback process.
This way, the recipient has some ownership and involvement in decision-making, which will result in a greater commitment to see that it’s implemented.
Working together finds better ways of improving the situation and will likely create a solution that is acceptable to both of you.
Offering constructive feedback can seem like a daunting task. If it is approached with the good intention of making improvements and creating better situations, rather than criticising and judging, it is positive input that gets beneficial results
The purpose of constructive feedback is to provide information that will contribute to improvements and create better results.
For feedback to be useful, it has to be actionable, otherwise it’s likely that the situation or behaviour will recur.
Whenever you are giving feedback, keep in mind that you’ll probably have an ongoing relationship with this person, so use your feedback to reinforce good relations.
Let’s say that you’re giving constructive feedback to a member of your staff. Here are five steps to help you give good feedback:
1 TIME IT RIGHT
Make sure the time is right. The sooner the better, but if you’re upset about the situation — or your employee is — take a “timeout. This is preferable than giving or receiving feedback when one of you is already in a bad mood.
2 CHOOSE YOUR WORDS
The way you say something can have a great impact on the listener. Depending on your choice of words, you can establish an amicable feedback environment or a hostile one. Saying, “You need to do...” or “You’re not doing this properly,” can put the receiver on the defensive from the get-go. Using the pronoun “you” makes the comments personal and can be interpreted as condescending or highly critical.
Instead, say “I noticed that...” or “I understand that...” Beginning feedback phrases this way discusses the action or behaviour that needs to be changed, not the person.
3 BE POSITIVE
Positive feedback acknowledges good contributions and work well done. Give specific examples of what the person did well.
Doing so is more meaningful than a general “Good job!” comment that can be said to anyone, any time, and doesn’t even have to be sincere.
Let the receiver know the positive impact his contributions had on the department or organisation so he understand the results — this also lets him know that you see it and appreciate it. In addition, reinforcing the positive encourages more of the same.
4 BE DESCRIPTIVE
When giving constructive feedback, discuss what happened, not how you feel about what happened. Focus on the situation, describe it, and stay objective.
Give a reason why it’s an issue and state the impact it had on the rest of the staff, the organisation or the customer.
When you stick with the facts, you can discuss them more easily. Being specific and clear assists the listener in understanding the issue and what requires changes.
5 COLLABORATE
It’s not up to you to come up with all the solutions by yourself, although you can offer suggestions that you think would be helpful.
Make a point of involving the recipient in this crucial part of the feedback process.
This way, the recipient has some ownership and involvement in decision-making, which will result in a greater commitment to see that it’s implemented.
Working together finds better ways of improving the situation and will likely create a solution that is acceptable to both of you.
Offering constructive feedback can seem like a daunting task. If it is approached with the good intention of making improvements and creating better situations, rather than criticising and judging, it is positive input that gets beneficial results
Professionals at work
AS PART of your career success strategy, always be professional at work. Professionalism in any field involves strong work ethics and a commitment to a standard of performance far above the ordinary.
Moreover, good service, fair dealings and courteous treatment of customers, peers, subordinates, fellow professionals and bosses are key to being a true professional of the highest calibre. Professionalism rests on a few basic key principles:
1 Start your workday early. Always be punctual for work. Ensure you budget time for delays and traffic hold-ups. Being early gives you time to mentally organise your thoughts and priorities. It gives you the professional energy boost and the reassurance that you are not “late” or “behind”.
2 Be organised. Never let your table and bookcase become cluttered and untidy. If you must have voluminous papers, files and books handy, then you should label them properly and place them in neat low-rise stacks. Also have a checklist for the day’s tasks on your table. Tick them off as you complete them.
3 Be willing to work shifts. In today’s highly demanding and fast-paced world, be prepared to work shifts. Due to globalisation of businesses, more professionals are now working in teams across several countries. Accept that you may have to coincide your working hours with those of fellow workers or clients from other cities.
4 Be willing to stay late to finish a project. Employers are increasingly asking employees to stay late occasionally to finish projects on time. Be willing to help the job get done. Demonstrate flexibility when required, but ensure it does not become a norm.
5 Continue to grow professionally. Ensure you keep upto- date with your profession. Sign up for at least a couple of upgrading or refresher courses annually even if you have to pay for it out of your own pocket. Be on the cutting edge of knowledge in your profession.
6 Do more than your share of the work. Be the exemplary employee at work. Put in more than your fair share of work. Be willing to Go the Extra Mile (GEM). You will then be the professional GEM at work.
7 Read all you can about your industry. Spend some time every week to read professional and trade magazines and the business pages of newspapers. Watch videos on issues that may be related to your profession.
8 Grow your professional network. Make it a point to attend networking events and functions regularly to meet fellow professionals in your industry and related business. Be willing to be a guest speaker at events where you can share insights about your industry with professionals from other industries.
9 Be resourceful but wise. No matter how challenging your tasks are, apply your analytical and critical thinking skills to generate new and creative solutions. Research not just from the Internet, but also from books and magazines at the library. Listen to discussion programmes on radio and watch documentaries on television to source for ideas.
10 Manage your performance. Ensure the quality of your work is consistently high. Make it a point to review your personal performance standards every six months. Part of your personal development strategy must include selfassessment and self-appraisal relative to peers in your profession. Most importantly, be prepared to raise your own performance standards.
11 Exhibit financial prudence. Good professionals are able to exhibit thrift and foresight in their financial judgment. They have the financial and business acumen to ensure money is spent wisely irrespective of their profession. Explore the possibilities of minimising cost and optimising profitability. In making financial decisions, try to balance the interests of all concerned parties.
12 Exhibit emotional intelligence. Being professional also means applying emotional intelligence appropriately to respond to situations and the personalities of those you are dealing with. You should also use more positive emotions like cheerfulness, enthusiasm and responsiveness.
Moreover, good service, fair dealings and courteous treatment of customers, peers, subordinates, fellow professionals and bosses are key to being a true professional of the highest calibre. Professionalism rests on a few basic key principles:
1 Start your workday early. Always be punctual for work. Ensure you budget time for delays and traffic hold-ups. Being early gives you time to mentally organise your thoughts and priorities. It gives you the professional energy boost and the reassurance that you are not “late” or “behind”.
2 Be organised. Never let your table and bookcase become cluttered and untidy. If you must have voluminous papers, files and books handy, then you should label them properly and place them in neat low-rise stacks. Also have a checklist for the day’s tasks on your table. Tick them off as you complete them.
3 Be willing to work shifts. In today’s highly demanding and fast-paced world, be prepared to work shifts. Due to globalisation of businesses, more professionals are now working in teams across several countries. Accept that you may have to coincide your working hours with those of fellow workers or clients from other cities.
4 Be willing to stay late to finish a project. Employers are increasingly asking employees to stay late occasionally to finish projects on time. Be willing to help the job get done. Demonstrate flexibility when required, but ensure it does not become a norm.
5 Continue to grow professionally. Ensure you keep upto- date with your profession. Sign up for at least a couple of upgrading or refresher courses annually even if you have to pay for it out of your own pocket. Be on the cutting edge of knowledge in your profession.
6 Do more than your share of the work. Be the exemplary employee at work. Put in more than your fair share of work. Be willing to Go the Extra Mile (GEM). You will then be the professional GEM at work.
7 Read all you can about your industry. Spend some time every week to read professional and trade magazines and the business pages of newspapers. Watch videos on issues that may be related to your profession.
8 Grow your professional network. Make it a point to attend networking events and functions regularly to meet fellow professionals in your industry and related business. Be willing to be a guest speaker at events where you can share insights about your industry with professionals from other industries.
9 Be resourceful but wise. No matter how challenging your tasks are, apply your analytical and critical thinking skills to generate new and creative solutions. Research not just from the Internet, but also from books and magazines at the library. Listen to discussion programmes on radio and watch documentaries on television to source for ideas.
10 Manage your performance. Ensure the quality of your work is consistently high. Make it a point to review your personal performance standards every six months. Part of your personal development strategy must include selfassessment and self-appraisal relative to peers in your profession. Most importantly, be prepared to raise your own performance standards.
11 Exhibit financial prudence. Good professionals are able to exhibit thrift and foresight in their financial judgment. They have the financial and business acumen to ensure money is spent wisely irrespective of their profession. Explore the possibilities of minimising cost and optimising profitability. In making financial decisions, try to balance the interests of all concerned parties.
12 Exhibit emotional intelligence. Being professional also means applying emotional intelligence appropriately to respond to situations and the personalities of those you are dealing with. You should also use more positive emotions like cheerfulness, enthusiasm and responsiveness.
Dare To Be Different
ASK someone how he gets creative and he probably has no idea. His responses might be situational, varying between, “I get ideas while working out at the gym or driving in the car”.
A change of wording, however, can create a better approach. By looking less at creativity and more at innovative actions, we shift the focus from natural abilities to those of observable behaviour patterns.
If you just happen to have a creative personality, then you are one of the lucky ones but the rest of us can still get the same results. We just need to adapt and work a bit harder on our behaviour.
The first clue to innovative behaviour is to ramp up your experimenting attitude. If things work and continue to work, then you will have no inspiration to bring about any dramatic changes and no innovative approaches will take place.
So the first step is to accelerate your willingness to try new things or find new ways of doing old things. Ask someone to get creative and he will find it difficult. Ask him to brainstorm with others and he will perceive it to be easier.
So if you want to be more creative, frequently experiment and see how things can be done differently and don’t be afraid to take risks. This behaviour will create new insights, inspirations and results for you.
Next, you must persist — no matter what obstacles cross your innovative path. It may seem like a paradox to constantly experiment while persisting with an idea, yet this is the basis of all innovative behaviour.
BE ENTHUSIASTIC
Be eager and excited about reaching your goals and the breakthrough solutions will follow naturally. Enthusiastic behaviour can result from reframing all perceptions into positive beliefs. If you tell yourself you can’t be innovative you will find you won’t be. Instead, try positive reframing and you will shift gears to an innovative mindset where results are guaranteed.
It is not easy to be enthusiastic about everything but if you look clearly at what you want to achieve, take initiative and actually relish the challenge, the enthusiasm will come naturally.
Don’t get overwhelmed about the solution; enjoy setting up a framework of putting all your innovative behaviour patterns into place. Then the process of finding solutions becomes as enjoyable as realising the results when they come to fruition.
KEEP DOING IT
Behavioural changes take place once you become aware of what is holding you back. Look at the results you need to create and brainstorm to find initiatives you could take to get these results.
Then experiment with them all. This may not lead you directly on the path to success but, at the very least, you are promoting the attitude of trying new ways of doing things and developing your experimental traits.
The more this practice of experimenting becomes natural and intuitive, the more readily you are improving your overall innovative behaviour.
Once you get your teams on a healthy course of innovation, make sure you take appropriate steps to keep up the momentum.
Remember to remain optimistic — not all proposed ideas and initiatives will get the results you require. However, if you can objectively assess what went wrong and successfully analyse the pitfalls, you will only further your innovative skills.
This will inspire your team to believe that innovation results from a set of behaviours that everyone can develop to a high level. And innovative people deliver strong results for the company.
A change of wording, however, can create a better approach. By looking less at creativity and more at innovative actions, we shift the focus from natural abilities to those of observable behaviour patterns.
If you just happen to have a creative personality, then you are one of the lucky ones but the rest of us can still get the same results. We just need to adapt and work a bit harder on our behaviour.
The first clue to innovative behaviour is to ramp up your experimenting attitude. If things work and continue to work, then you will have no inspiration to bring about any dramatic changes and no innovative approaches will take place.
So the first step is to accelerate your willingness to try new things or find new ways of doing old things. Ask someone to get creative and he will find it difficult. Ask him to brainstorm with others and he will perceive it to be easier.
So if you want to be more creative, frequently experiment and see how things can be done differently and don’t be afraid to take risks. This behaviour will create new insights, inspirations and results for you.
Next, you must persist — no matter what obstacles cross your innovative path. It may seem like a paradox to constantly experiment while persisting with an idea, yet this is the basis of all innovative behaviour.
BE ENTHUSIASTIC
Be eager and excited about reaching your goals and the breakthrough solutions will follow naturally. Enthusiastic behaviour can result from reframing all perceptions into positive beliefs. If you tell yourself you can’t be innovative you will find you won’t be. Instead, try positive reframing and you will shift gears to an innovative mindset where results are guaranteed.
It is not easy to be enthusiastic about everything but if you look clearly at what you want to achieve, take initiative and actually relish the challenge, the enthusiasm will come naturally.
Don’t get overwhelmed about the solution; enjoy setting up a framework of putting all your innovative behaviour patterns into place. Then the process of finding solutions becomes as enjoyable as realising the results when they come to fruition.
KEEP DOING IT
Behavioural changes take place once you become aware of what is holding you back. Look at the results you need to create and brainstorm to find initiatives you could take to get these results.
Then experiment with them all. This may not lead you directly on the path to success but, at the very least, you are promoting the attitude of trying new ways of doing things and developing your experimental traits.
The more this practice of experimenting becomes natural and intuitive, the more readily you are improving your overall innovative behaviour.
Once you get your teams on a healthy course of innovation, make sure you take appropriate steps to keep up the momentum.
Remember to remain optimistic — not all proposed ideas and initiatives will get the results you require. However, if you can objectively assess what went wrong and successfully analyse the pitfalls, you will only further your innovative skills.
This will inspire your team to believe that innovation results from a set of behaviours that everyone can develop to a high level. And innovative people deliver strong results for the company.
Vision of success
MANY motivational speakers and self-help books will tell you that you must have goals. I have even advocated goal-setting myself in the past. Write down your goals and detail them for family life, friends, finances, career, recreation, health, learning, education and your spiritual life.
However, I have now come to the conclusion that successful people with strong self-beliefs do not set their goals in this way. Why? Because they are too busy doing what they need to do to get what they want.
Successful people don’t spend time writing down what they want out of life — they just get on with it.
To be successful at meeting your goals, you need to ask yourself: “What do I really want to achieve? What are my dreams and desires? What do I want to build or create? What sort of person do I want to be?”
You need to identify clearly what you want out of life, what you hunger and thirst for, and what you really want to achieve.
If someone held your head under water, you would quickly realise what you want — oxygen. You need to feel like this to be successful. Most of us experience this feeling when we fall in love. We do almost anything to impress and be with the person of our dreams.
This is how people create success. It is how new places were discovered, products were invented, Everest was conquered and man walked on the moon.
You may not want to achieve something so dramatic: you may just want to have a successful plumbing business, be an excellent accountant, or even run a marathon.
Whatever it is, once you identify and focus on it, you will find the motivation to make it happen.
The success story of swimmer Florence Chadwick is frequently cited. On her first attempt to swim the English Channel, she encountered huge waves and chilling temperatures.
Her trainers were alongside her in a boat. They had greased her body to provide protection from the cold and had given her hot soup from a vacuum flask. She had everything going for her to ensure her success.
However, a heavy fog set in and as the fog descended, her vision was limited to only a few feet. The water seemed to get colder, the waves higher and she started suffering from cramp in her arms and legs. She eventually gave up and asked her trainers to take her on board the boat.
What she didn’t realise was that she was only a short distance from the shore. When the reporters asked her why she had given up when she was so close to the finish, her answer was simple: “I lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I’m not sure that I had it firmly in my mind.” You need to have a clear mental picture of where you want to go.
You need to visualise yourself being successful and work towards it. You then have better chance of achieving your target.
And in case you are wondering about Florence Chadwick, she did become the first woman to swim the English Channel on August 8, 1950 in 13 hours 25 minutes.
However, I have now come to the conclusion that successful people with strong self-beliefs do not set their goals in this way. Why? Because they are too busy doing what they need to do to get what they want.
Successful people don’t spend time writing down what they want out of life — they just get on with it.
To be successful at meeting your goals, you need to ask yourself: “What do I really want to achieve? What are my dreams and desires? What do I want to build or create? What sort of person do I want to be?”
You need to identify clearly what you want out of life, what you hunger and thirst for, and what you really want to achieve.
If someone held your head under water, you would quickly realise what you want — oxygen. You need to feel like this to be successful. Most of us experience this feeling when we fall in love. We do almost anything to impress and be with the person of our dreams.
This is how people create success. It is how new places were discovered, products were invented, Everest was conquered and man walked on the moon.
You may not want to achieve something so dramatic: you may just want to have a successful plumbing business, be an excellent accountant, or even run a marathon.
Whatever it is, once you identify and focus on it, you will find the motivation to make it happen.
The success story of swimmer Florence Chadwick is frequently cited. On her first attempt to swim the English Channel, she encountered huge waves and chilling temperatures.
Her trainers were alongside her in a boat. They had greased her body to provide protection from the cold and had given her hot soup from a vacuum flask. She had everything going for her to ensure her success.
However, a heavy fog set in and as the fog descended, her vision was limited to only a few feet. The water seemed to get colder, the waves higher and she started suffering from cramp in her arms and legs. She eventually gave up and asked her trainers to take her on board the boat.
What she didn’t realise was that she was only a short distance from the shore. When the reporters asked her why she had given up when she was so close to the finish, her answer was simple: “I lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I’m not sure that I had it firmly in my mind.” You need to have a clear mental picture of where you want to go.
You need to visualise yourself being successful and work towards it. You then have better chance of achieving your target.
And in case you are wondering about Florence Chadwick, she did become the first woman to swim the English Channel on August 8, 1950 in 13 hours 25 minutes.
Managing tension
SIMON walked into the meeting and sat down. He looked around the room at the others seated there and could feel the tension in the air.
Is your first response as you read this to think that something is wrong?
It is interesting to note that there is no positive word in the English language for “conflict” or “tension”. Some synonyms of these words are stress, hassle, anxiety, problem or apprehension.
If someone said: “There is tension in my relationship”, the overwhelming response from people would be to think that something was wrong.
If you have a mindset that views any tension as a sign that something is wrong, you will struggle with asking questions — because asking questions can produce tension. The reverse of this would also be true.
If there is tension, it would be a good time to ask questions.
If you want to learn to be a good communicator, you must also rethink the purpose of tension and not assume that it means that something is automatically wrong.
To develop the art of inquiry, you must look at the healthy and important part tension plays in relationships. Without managed tension, there would be little movement, growth or life in any of your relationships, teams or organisations.
Tension is merely the signal that there is a difference or uniqueness in people and that in itself is a vital part of a relationship.
Here are some key points about tension:
1 Managing tension is the life of any relationship.
Too little tension and there is apathy. Too much tension and there is stress. The key is learning how to manage tension to keep the relationship alive.
Each person has the capacity to handle varying amounts of tension in different situations. Communication is necessary to handle tension on an hourly, daily or monthly basis. Tension is an important mechanism that tells us it is time to communicate.
2 Tension tells you and others working with you where you are.
It is a reality check and keeps you grounded in what is going on. The more clearly you know your role in the organisation, the easier it is to know how to get to where you want to go.
3 Tension reveals how a person will deal with the world around him.
Most people have grown up believing that life is riddled with problems to be solved and tension is the signal that something is wrong.
This may be true of the mechanical world, but it is not always the case with human relations.
The world of human relationships is full of values that are in tension with one another.
These values are to be explored, understood and then ordered through communication towards common goals.
Tension is the result of dilemmas at work. Some common dilemmas in any team or organisation are:
Relationship focus versus task,
Individual focus versus group,
Future focus versus present, and
Internal focus versus external.
See it as a tightrope
Let’s look at the dilemma between the group and the individual, illustrated by the example of a man on a tightrope.
There are two platforms with a thick rope between them. On one platform is the value of the individual. On the other platform is the value of the group.
These two platforms are connected to each other and there is a clear and healthy tension between them.
Without allowing for some individuality in each person, the group becomes stagnant and conformity is the rule.
Without the group, the individual becomes isolated and there is anarchy, with each man for himself being the rule.
The potential for cooperation is out on the rope where the tension is.
The platform may be safe but there is little action, growth or even movement. People need to understand the importance of tension, and of striking a balance between individual needs and those of the group.
How to deal with it
There are two typical ways of dealing with tension.
The first is to see tension as wrong and to try to take control, to make rules and try and get the action “right”.
The other way is through dialogue or communication. Tension is the signal that there is a difference in the way something is being viewed and can be a great opportunity to clarify, grow and learn new things.
If you take the first route, you may think questions are a form of challenge or even rebellion and make rules to remove the questions.
In the second way, you see that tension is healthy and a signal that communication is needed and welcome questions to give a greater understanding of the situation you are in.
The late Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said: “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.
“What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
Is your first response as you read this to think that something is wrong?
It is interesting to note that there is no positive word in the English language for “conflict” or “tension”. Some synonyms of these words are stress, hassle, anxiety, problem or apprehension.
If someone said: “There is tension in my relationship”, the overwhelming response from people would be to think that something was wrong.
If you have a mindset that views any tension as a sign that something is wrong, you will struggle with asking questions — because asking questions can produce tension. The reverse of this would also be true.
If there is tension, it would be a good time to ask questions.
If you want to learn to be a good communicator, you must also rethink the purpose of tension and not assume that it means that something is automatically wrong.
To develop the art of inquiry, you must look at the healthy and important part tension plays in relationships. Without managed tension, there would be little movement, growth or life in any of your relationships, teams or organisations.
Tension is merely the signal that there is a difference or uniqueness in people and that in itself is a vital part of a relationship.
Here are some key points about tension:
1 Managing tension is the life of any relationship.
Too little tension and there is apathy. Too much tension and there is stress. The key is learning how to manage tension to keep the relationship alive.
Each person has the capacity to handle varying amounts of tension in different situations. Communication is necessary to handle tension on an hourly, daily or monthly basis. Tension is an important mechanism that tells us it is time to communicate.
2 Tension tells you and others working with you where you are.
It is a reality check and keeps you grounded in what is going on. The more clearly you know your role in the organisation, the easier it is to know how to get to where you want to go.
3 Tension reveals how a person will deal with the world around him.
Most people have grown up believing that life is riddled with problems to be solved and tension is the signal that something is wrong.
This may be true of the mechanical world, but it is not always the case with human relations.
The world of human relationships is full of values that are in tension with one another.
These values are to be explored, understood and then ordered through communication towards common goals.
Tension is the result of dilemmas at work. Some common dilemmas in any team or organisation are:
Relationship focus versus task,
Individual focus versus group,
Future focus versus present, and
Internal focus versus external.
See it as a tightrope
Let’s look at the dilemma between the group and the individual, illustrated by the example of a man on a tightrope.
There are two platforms with a thick rope between them. On one platform is the value of the individual. On the other platform is the value of the group.
These two platforms are connected to each other and there is a clear and healthy tension between them.
Without allowing for some individuality in each person, the group becomes stagnant and conformity is the rule.
Without the group, the individual becomes isolated and there is anarchy, with each man for himself being the rule.
The potential for cooperation is out on the rope where the tension is.
The platform may be safe but there is little action, growth or even movement. People need to understand the importance of tension, and of striking a balance between individual needs and those of the group.
How to deal with it
There are two typical ways of dealing with tension.
The first is to see tension as wrong and to try to take control, to make rules and try and get the action “right”.
The other way is through dialogue or communication. Tension is the signal that there is a difference in the way something is being viewed and can be a great opportunity to clarify, grow and learn new things.
If you take the first route, you may think questions are a form of challenge or even rebellion and make rules to remove the questions.
In the second way, you see that tension is healthy and a signal that communication is needed and welcome questions to give a greater understanding of the situation you are in.
The late Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, said: “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.
“What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
Win People Over
YOU have a brilliant idea for your company that will increase revenue and create more profits.
There is only one problem.
The employees who have to implement the idea are not buying into your vision, so it is not going anywhere.
How can you get them to change their opinion and embrace your great idea?
The attitude bell curve
A useful strategy for managing change is to assume that employee attitudes adhere to a standard, or bell curve, distribution.
A small group of employees are highly constructive, deeply committed to the organisation and inherently supportive of the management’s change initiatives.
Another small group is highly disruptive, deeply alienated from the organisation and inherently resistant to the management’s change efforts.
Most employees are more or less neutral and must be convinced about the merits of any proposed change.
A good yardstick is to assume that 15 per cent of the population are supportive, 15 per cent resistant and 70 per cent neutral.
Unfortunately, the resistant minority is often both vocal and aggressive.
Most employees know who the whiners and malcontents are, and carefully watch how the management deals with them.
If, as frequently happens, the resistant minority is able to distract or delay the management’s efforts to implement change, the neutral majority concludes that the management was not serious about the change, or even worse, that the vocal minority was right.
The more the management caters to the resisters, the more this group wields a virtual veto on progress.
This is true because the resisters’ objections are usually not about the merits of any change, but a function of their alienation from the organisation.
Selective focus
The key to change management is to ignore both the supportive 15 per cent (they don’t need convincing) and resistant 15 per cent (they can’t be convinced), and concentrate on the neutral 70 per cent.
If the broad middle of the population moves to the right on the attitude bell curve, change happens. That segment will move to the right if it sees that you are committed to the change and are no longer allowing the resisters to thwart you.
What happens when the resisters see everyone else moving away from their position?
For some, the isolation becomes too uncomfortable and they join the majority of the employees in implementing the changes.
For others, the realisation that they have lost their power causes them to leave, leaving both them and the company better off.
Mental toughness
Why is this simple strategy not used more often?
It often comes down to the need for mental toughness from the senior leadership in the organisation.
Mental toughness is the ability to maintain your interior focus, relaxation, determination and confidence in the face of extreme external stress that should, by all rights, make you fail.
It is about performing at your peak under pressure.
These three tenets are at the crux of mental toughness: ● Exerting your focus where the impact is greatest; ● Attempting to influence only the things over which you have full or limited control; and ● Letting go of the things you cannot control.
Here are some tips for the chief executive officer, president, executive or business owner who wants to successfully manage a company- wide change initiative:
1 Be mentally tough. Show determined leadership and persevere under the most stressful resistance. Demonstrate that, in your world, the change initiative is a done deal.
2 Don’t create more resistance than is naturally present by attempting to fight or control every aspect of your change initiative.
3 Don’t take the resistance personally. Realise that the laws of the corporate jungle are operating and you can’t fight human nature.
4 Handle the stress of the change process in admirable fashion, setting the standard for others to emulate.
Be a savvy business leader who understands how change “really” operates at organisational-intrapersonal levels, and manage that change by leveraging on your mental toughness as a business asset
There is only one problem.
The employees who have to implement the idea are not buying into your vision, so it is not going anywhere.
How can you get them to change their opinion and embrace your great idea?
The attitude bell curve
A useful strategy for managing change is to assume that employee attitudes adhere to a standard, or bell curve, distribution.
A small group of employees are highly constructive, deeply committed to the organisation and inherently supportive of the management’s change initiatives.
Another small group is highly disruptive, deeply alienated from the organisation and inherently resistant to the management’s change efforts.
Most employees are more or less neutral and must be convinced about the merits of any proposed change.
A good yardstick is to assume that 15 per cent of the population are supportive, 15 per cent resistant and 70 per cent neutral.
Unfortunately, the resistant minority is often both vocal and aggressive.
Most employees know who the whiners and malcontents are, and carefully watch how the management deals with them.
If, as frequently happens, the resistant minority is able to distract or delay the management’s efforts to implement change, the neutral majority concludes that the management was not serious about the change, or even worse, that the vocal minority was right.
The more the management caters to the resisters, the more this group wields a virtual veto on progress.
This is true because the resisters’ objections are usually not about the merits of any change, but a function of their alienation from the organisation.
Selective focus
The key to change management is to ignore both the supportive 15 per cent (they don’t need convincing) and resistant 15 per cent (they can’t be convinced), and concentrate on the neutral 70 per cent.
If the broad middle of the population moves to the right on the attitude bell curve, change happens. That segment will move to the right if it sees that you are committed to the change and are no longer allowing the resisters to thwart you.
What happens when the resisters see everyone else moving away from their position?
For some, the isolation becomes too uncomfortable and they join the majority of the employees in implementing the changes.
For others, the realisation that they have lost their power causes them to leave, leaving both them and the company better off.
Mental toughness
Why is this simple strategy not used more often?
It often comes down to the need for mental toughness from the senior leadership in the organisation.
Mental toughness is the ability to maintain your interior focus, relaxation, determination and confidence in the face of extreme external stress that should, by all rights, make you fail.
It is about performing at your peak under pressure.
These three tenets are at the crux of mental toughness: ● Exerting your focus where the impact is greatest; ● Attempting to influence only the things over which you have full or limited control; and ● Letting go of the things you cannot control.
Here are some tips for the chief executive officer, president, executive or business owner who wants to successfully manage a company- wide change initiative:
1 Be mentally tough. Show determined leadership and persevere under the most stressful resistance. Demonstrate that, in your world, the change initiative is a done deal.
2 Don’t create more resistance than is naturally present by attempting to fight or control every aspect of your change initiative.
3 Don’t take the resistance personally. Realise that the laws of the corporate jungle are operating and you can’t fight human nature.
4 Handle the stress of the change process in admirable fashion, setting the standard for others to emulate.
Be a savvy business leader who understands how change “really” operates at organisational-intrapersonal levels, and manage that change by leveraging on your mental toughness as a business asset
Fear not, get fresh
YOU are in your car driving to work on a bright, sunny morning, when it suddenly hits you. Not the car that has been tailgating you for the last mile, but a great idea.
It could be the next Google. Or a completely new market for your product. Or simply a quicker or cheaper way to do your work.
You rush to your workplace and meet a colleague in the corridor. You describe your great idea to him.
Without a second’s thought, he says: “Oh, we did that two years ago. It didn’t work.”
Your killer idea has just met an idea killer.
How to kill an idea
Idea killer phrases are negative comments that people make without thinking when they first hear an idea. Here are 10 of the most common ones:
■ “The accountants will never buy it.”
■ “Compliance won’t allow it.”
■ “Company X has already done it.”
■ “That’s really stupid.”
■ “We don’t operate like that.”
■ “The bosses will hate it.”
■ “Give me a few weeks and I’ll get back to you.”
■ “Let’s set up a committee to investigate it.”
■ “Maybe in a couple of years from now.”
■ “It just won’t work.”
Give it a chance to grow
Ideas, especially great ones, are fragile. They need passion, openness and nurturing to flourish.
The next time someone comes up to you and tells you his great idea, here is what you should do:
■ Take 30 seconds to think why it would work.
■ Question your assumptions.
■ Think of all the positive aspects of the idea.
■ Imagine how it could work.
■ Then, and only then, give him your feedback.
You will be amazed at the difference this will make.
When you give an idea a moment’s thought, you give yourself the time to see all the possibilities and the potential while avoiding all the negative pitfalls.
Of course, you can always critique the idea later, but only after you have looked at all the positive aspects.
This way, you may find the seed — the little germ of an idea that can blossom into immense profits for your company.
It could be the next Google. Or a completely new market for your product. Or simply a quicker or cheaper way to do your work.
You rush to your workplace and meet a colleague in the corridor. You describe your great idea to him.
Without a second’s thought, he says: “Oh, we did that two years ago. It didn’t work.”
Your killer idea has just met an idea killer.
How to kill an idea
Idea killer phrases are negative comments that people make without thinking when they first hear an idea. Here are 10 of the most common ones:
■ “The accountants will never buy it.”
■ “Compliance won’t allow it.”
■ “Company X has already done it.”
■ “That’s really stupid.”
■ “We don’t operate like that.”
■ “The bosses will hate it.”
■ “Give me a few weeks and I’ll get back to you.”
■ “Let’s set up a committee to investigate it.”
■ “Maybe in a couple of years from now.”
■ “It just won’t work.”
Give it a chance to grow
Ideas, especially great ones, are fragile. They need passion, openness and nurturing to flourish.
The next time someone comes up to you and tells you his great idea, here is what you should do:
■ Take 30 seconds to think why it would work.
■ Question your assumptions.
■ Think of all the positive aspects of the idea.
■ Imagine how it could work.
■ Then, and only then, give him your feedback.
You will be amazed at the difference this will make.
When you give an idea a moment’s thought, you give yourself the time to see all the possibilities and the potential while avoiding all the negative pitfalls.
Of course, you can always critique the idea later, but only after you have looked at all the positive aspects.
This way, you may find the seed — the little germ of an idea that can blossom into immense profits for your company.
Stay positive
HOW do I keep the contagious effect of negativity from rubbing off on me?” is a question most frequently asked by my seminar participants.
My reply: the Three Ps. These were inspired by the work of Dr Martin Seligman who has extensively studied what makes some people positive despite the direst circumstances. The key is to ask yourself the following questions:
Is it personal?
When the company downsizes, when the boss throws a tantrum or when the co-worker in the next cubicle grumbles in response to your morning greeting, ask yourself: “Are any of these really about me?”
A comment in a popular women’s magazine was quite telling. It said: “You would be depressed if you knew how seldom people were really thinking about you.” In other words, it is not about you as much as you may think it is.
Is it permanent?
The popular expression, “This too shall pass”, applies here. The extent to which you can see the “light at the end of the proverbial tunnel” is the extent to which you can remain positive, in spite of everything that happens.
Is it the big picture?
A man in one of my seminars told me that he was learning how to manage his boss.
When I inquired about his boss’s shortcomings, he said: “My boss chews me out in the hallway daily, just for sport!” I asked how he managed to stay positive in spite of this daily Dilbert-style dressing down.
He explained: “When my boss is screaming, turning bright red, I simply look at him, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking, ‘When they record the history of time, will this event be documented? No!’”
Counteract the negatives
In the mid-1980s, I was working as a department director at a mediumsized state university in the United States. At that time, most of the staff felt that universities were immune to the downsizing trend that had begun gaining momentum.
So you can imagine our shock when a new university president began slashing jobs campus-wide. Fear and panic set in. Everyone I encountered seemed to have an undercurrent of gloom and doom in their tone.
I could not change the negativity, so my only recourse was to counteract it.
You can do the same. Find other ways to counteract the non-negotiable negatives. Better yet, find a positive option that might also provide a financial fallback plan in case you lose your job!
Thus, my “moonlighting” job as a part-time Mary Kay Cosmetics consultant began. I remember my academic colleagues teasing: “You’re peddling lipsticks? Everything is so pink! And, so perky!”
My reply: “I need pink and perky to counteract the negativity! Plus, it is my backup plan. What’s yours?”
Even though some of my colleagues would not have chosen the same alternate job that I did, they did understand that it was really about having options.
That’s what keeps you from feeling like your back is against the wall and you have nowhere to go.
Get a life
Several years ago, I had an opportunity to conduct training for a large organisation known for its conflict and workplace drama.
“Take names!” my client told me. I was puzzled by this request. Apparently, he wanted me to take down the name of anyone in the training who seemed particularly “volatile”.
About halfway through the daylong workshop, one of the men in that day’s group of 30 participants, said: “You know, Sarita, when I’m lying awake at night, I think about this place. When I’m at the grocery store, I think about this place. When I’m walking down the street, I think about this place.”
As I was listening to him, the thought crossed my mind, “Where’s my pen and paper? I need to write this man’s name down!”
Just as I was contemplating my next move, the other 29 workshop participants shouted at this man in unison: “Get a life!”
I could not have said it better myself. Speaking as a recovering workaholic, I know first-hand that when all you do is work, every little job-related problem or disappointment looms larger than life. You end up like this man, thinking about your work in the grocery store because you have nothing else to fill your thoughts.
By the way, I did not write the man’s name down. The group helped me engage him in a discussion of possibilities for broadening the scope of his life beyond work.
The goal is to not have all of your “emotional eggs in one basket”. In fact, research has shown that people who have balanced lives — family, career, hobbies, friends — fare better, because any time one area is not going well, you can look to another area to bolster your confidence, self-esteem and sense of well-being.
So, if you’re experiencing negativity at work — or elsewhere — remember to ask yourself the Three Ps, counteract the negativity with positive experiences and get a life!
My reply: the Three Ps. These were inspired by the work of Dr Martin Seligman who has extensively studied what makes some people positive despite the direst circumstances. The key is to ask yourself the following questions:
Is it personal?
When the company downsizes, when the boss throws a tantrum or when the co-worker in the next cubicle grumbles in response to your morning greeting, ask yourself: “Are any of these really about me?”
A comment in a popular women’s magazine was quite telling. It said: “You would be depressed if you knew how seldom people were really thinking about you.” In other words, it is not about you as much as you may think it is.
Is it permanent?
The popular expression, “This too shall pass”, applies here. The extent to which you can see the “light at the end of the proverbial tunnel” is the extent to which you can remain positive, in spite of everything that happens.
Is it the big picture?
A man in one of my seminars told me that he was learning how to manage his boss.
When I inquired about his boss’s shortcomings, he said: “My boss chews me out in the hallway daily, just for sport!” I asked how he managed to stay positive in spite of this daily Dilbert-style dressing down.
He explained: “When my boss is screaming, turning bright red, I simply look at him, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking, ‘When they record the history of time, will this event be documented? No!’”
Counteract the negatives
In the mid-1980s, I was working as a department director at a mediumsized state university in the United States. At that time, most of the staff felt that universities were immune to the downsizing trend that had begun gaining momentum.
So you can imagine our shock when a new university president began slashing jobs campus-wide. Fear and panic set in. Everyone I encountered seemed to have an undercurrent of gloom and doom in their tone.
I could not change the negativity, so my only recourse was to counteract it.
You can do the same. Find other ways to counteract the non-negotiable negatives. Better yet, find a positive option that might also provide a financial fallback plan in case you lose your job!
Thus, my “moonlighting” job as a part-time Mary Kay Cosmetics consultant began. I remember my academic colleagues teasing: “You’re peddling lipsticks? Everything is so pink! And, so perky!”
My reply: “I need pink and perky to counteract the negativity! Plus, it is my backup plan. What’s yours?”
Even though some of my colleagues would not have chosen the same alternate job that I did, they did understand that it was really about having options.
That’s what keeps you from feeling like your back is against the wall and you have nowhere to go.
Get a life
Several years ago, I had an opportunity to conduct training for a large organisation known for its conflict and workplace drama.
“Take names!” my client told me. I was puzzled by this request. Apparently, he wanted me to take down the name of anyone in the training who seemed particularly “volatile”.
About halfway through the daylong workshop, one of the men in that day’s group of 30 participants, said: “You know, Sarita, when I’m lying awake at night, I think about this place. When I’m at the grocery store, I think about this place. When I’m walking down the street, I think about this place.”
As I was listening to him, the thought crossed my mind, “Where’s my pen and paper? I need to write this man’s name down!”
Just as I was contemplating my next move, the other 29 workshop participants shouted at this man in unison: “Get a life!”
I could not have said it better myself. Speaking as a recovering workaholic, I know first-hand that when all you do is work, every little job-related problem or disappointment looms larger than life. You end up like this man, thinking about your work in the grocery store because you have nothing else to fill your thoughts.
By the way, I did not write the man’s name down. The group helped me engage him in a discussion of possibilities for broadening the scope of his life beyond work.
The goal is to not have all of your “emotional eggs in one basket”. In fact, research has shown that people who have balanced lives — family, career, hobbies, friends — fare better, because any time one area is not going well, you can look to another area to bolster your confidence, self-esteem and sense of well-being.
So, if you’re experiencing negativity at work — or elsewhere — remember to ask yourself the Three Ps, counteract the negativity with positive experiences and get a life!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
How to Change the Leadership Myth
A lot is written about leadership and continues to be written about leadership. Most will agree that leadership is a primary factor in the success of organizations and individuals from small businesses to entrepreneurs. Developing effective leaders is an ongoing goal for many education and training departments both in the public and private sectors.
Unfortunately within much of these published works as well as seminars and training programs, the myth continues that leaders are born not made. This is undoubtedly absolute HOGWASH and insults all that have achieved success when others with far more “born advantages” have failed.
Leaders are made and not born! This is a fact. Our country continues to be one of the best environments for providing opportunities for leaders to be made. The following is exemplifies how leaders are truly made.
He failed in business
He was defeated in the legislature
He failed in business again
He was elected to state legislature.
He was defeated as speaker for the legislature.
He was defeated for elector.
He lost a race for U.S. Congressional seat.
He gained a seat in Congress.
He lost that seat in Congress.
He lost a race for U.S. Senator.
He ran for Vice-President and lost.
He ran again for U.S. Senator and lost.
He was elected 16th President of the United States of America.
Over 100 years ago, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, believed that leaders are made, not born when he penned this words: "That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well."
To change this leadership myth begins with embracing the belief that everyone has the potential to be a leader. Then each individual needs to reaffirm that belief through a positive self-affirmation statement or what I now call a “belief affirmation” beginning with this one. “I am a leader, first of myself, and then of others.”
Why does this myth continue that leaders are born not made and more importantly why do people pay to hear this myth? Possibly, this is because those who perpetuate this myth don’t want the average individual to see herself or himself as a leader who can ultimately achieved success in spite of failure upon failure.
by Leanne Hoagland-Smith
Unfortunately within much of these published works as well as seminars and training programs, the myth continues that leaders are born not made. This is undoubtedly absolute HOGWASH and insults all that have achieved success when others with far more “born advantages” have failed.
Leaders are made and not born! This is a fact. Our country continues to be one of the best environments for providing opportunities for leaders to be made. The following is exemplifies how leaders are truly made.
He failed in business
He was defeated in the legislature
He failed in business again
He was elected to state legislature.
He was defeated as speaker for the legislature.
He was defeated for elector.
He lost a race for U.S. Congressional seat.
He gained a seat in Congress.
He lost that seat in Congress.
He lost a race for U.S. Senator.
He ran for Vice-President and lost.
He ran again for U.S. Senator and lost.
He was elected 16th President of the United States of America.
Over 100 years ago, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, believed that leaders are made, not born when he penned this words: "That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well."
To change this leadership myth begins with embracing the belief that everyone has the potential to be a leader. Then each individual needs to reaffirm that belief through a positive self-affirmation statement or what I now call a “belief affirmation” beginning with this one. “I am a leader, first of myself, and then of others.”
Why does this myth continue that leaders are born not made and more importantly why do people pay to hear this myth? Possibly, this is because those who perpetuate this myth don’t want the average individual to see herself or himself as a leader who can ultimately achieved success in spite of failure upon failure.
by Leanne Hoagland-Smith
Jack Welch -- Winners Get Back Up on the Horse
by Alan Boyer, President, of The Leader’s Perspective
A few months ago I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes with Jack Welch, past CEO of GE. A fantastic opportunity.
Some of the things he said about who they hire and what they are looking for in managers sort of hit home with what I am telling clients, and what I am telling my teen leadership group (our Rising Stars program).
The Best Managers Aren't Perfect But They Keep Getting Back on the Horse
Jack Welch--"We look for people that are not perfect. People that have made mistakes, but know how to quickly get back up on the horse when they've been thrown off, and those that turn the loss around into a win. It isn't about never making mistakes, it's about getting back up and moving forward toward the results. If someone has never experienced falling off and shown their ability to get back up they might not be the managers we want."
"Leadership is about results, not experience, not education, or any of the other things that everyone claims is leadership. It's about
o Being able to consistantly deliver results,
o Being able to recover from falling off that horse,
o And geting right back on until you ultimately deliver results."
That's so in line with what I keep telling my clients and my youth leadership groups I work with. The path to your destination is almost never a straight line. There will be zig zags, side trips, and steps backward.
Too many people slip off the trail, and just walk away telling themselves they just failed. The winners are the ones that learn from what took them off the trail, figure out how to get back on the trail, and keep steadily plodding toward the goal even with the setbacks.
Failure Is a Choice--Choose to Win
You only fail one time--when you say you have....and QUIT.
When that happens there is only one guaranteed outcome--Failure. That makes failure a choice. Those that choose to not get back on choose to be victims.
Those that win choose to get back on the horse, get back on the trail and plod along toward the goal.
A few months ago I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes with Jack Welch, past CEO of GE. A fantastic opportunity.
Some of the things he said about who they hire and what they are looking for in managers sort of hit home with what I am telling clients, and what I am telling my teen leadership group (our Rising Stars program).
The Best Managers Aren't Perfect But They Keep Getting Back on the Horse
Jack Welch--"We look for people that are not perfect. People that have made mistakes, but know how to quickly get back up on the horse when they've been thrown off, and those that turn the loss around into a win. It isn't about never making mistakes, it's about getting back up and moving forward toward the results. If someone has never experienced falling off and shown their ability to get back up they might not be the managers we want."
"Leadership is about results, not experience, not education, or any of the other things that everyone claims is leadership. It's about
o Being able to consistantly deliver results,
o Being able to recover from falling off that horse,
o And geting right back on until you ultimately deliver results."
That's so in line with what I keep telling my clients and my youth leadership groups I work with. The path to your destination is almost never a straight line. There will be zig zags, side trips, and steps backward.
Too many people slip off the trail, and just walk away telling themselves they just failed. The winners are the ones that learn from what took them off the trail, figure out how to get back on the trail, and keep steadily plodding toward the goal even with the setbacks.
Failure Is a Choice--Choose to Win
You only fail one time--when you say you have....and QUIT.
When that happens there is only one guaranteed outcome--Failure. That makes failure a choice. Those that choose to not get back on choose to be victims.
Those that win choose to get back on the horse, get back on the trail and plod along toward the goal.
Taking Baby Steps to Reach Your Goals and Achieve Greatness like Earnhardt and Trump
Ask any famous person that achieved greatness what they did that was different. They would tell you they mad their goals realistic and took action. The rest is history. Napoleon Hill stated "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." He used a positive mental attitude and the use of small, realistic steps to achieve greatness. He went from a poor beginning in a log cabin to one of the best selling authors and an advisor to congressmen, presidents and so on. W. Clement Stone took $100 and with this same use of creating realistic steps and taking action he built one of the largest multi million dollar insurance companies in America.
They may not have the current publicity or notoriaty of Donald Trump, Dale Earnhardt or similar, but they came from much humbler starts. Donald Trump was born into a real estate magnate family. Dale Earnhardt was born into a established race car family in Kannapolis North Carolina. Now thats not to say that Donald Trump and Dale Earnhardt are not great people (Dale Earnhardt formed one of the largest and winningest Nascar teams and was very philanthropic and helped a lot of people through his charitable activities). What I am getting at here is that most of us don't have magnates or millions in our families, but that in no wy means we cannot achieve greatness, riches beyond our wildest dreams, etc... Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone actually started with much less and in worse times and conditions than we have ever known (the great depression era).
What drove Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone to greatness was two things.
(1)They planned realistic steps to reach attainable goals (baby steps). They didn't just wake up one day and say my only goal is to be rich and retire tomorrow. They made plans and kept slowly raising the bar every time they would attain one of their goals.
(2)They took action. You wouldn't believe how many times I hear people state all the things they are going to do or would like to do. I recently attended a young Cornell Alumni meeting where the talk was mostly about grand future plans, or what they would like to do but they don't have time, the conditions aren't right, etc... You have to start somewhere. If you take too big of a step you will probably become defeated and not continue. It is better to take small attainable steps. Each time you attain one of these steps or your goal raise the bar a little. It will slowly move you closer to your dream and give you a great boost in self confidence. You have to plan out little baby steps and then you have to take action. This will seperate you from everyone else - the majority of people live life day to day, pay check to paycheck with little or no action or planning. You can always find these people complaining about how bad the economy is, taxes are too high, etc...
The best thing you can do is find a mentor and surround yourself with positive achievers and realize it will take a lot of effort. Lance Armstrong didn't win the Tour de France 6 times by accident and battle cancer at the same time. He was driven, set goals, and took action on a daily basis. He also realized greatness would not happen overnight. Greatness didn't come overnight for Dale Earnhardt either. He raced hard for many years, suffered crashes that would have kept most people off the track and faced fear head on. With his tanacity, fierce vigor and drive he became the greatest Nascar legend of all time. Now his son, Dale Jr., continues his racing legacy and awesome philanthropic and charitable activities. If you take the effort to take action, use baby steps to attain goals and make realistic goals you cannot and will not fail. Failure will not be a word in your vocabulary.
Now you know how to achieve greatness. Set goals for yourself. Make them realistic and take realistic baby steps to achieve them. Take action - this will seperate you from 99.9% of everyone else. They are afraid to take action and will never attain greatness. What do you think Lance Armstrong said when critics said he could not win the Tour de France, or that he could not do a repeat win of it? What do you think Dale Earnhardt said when the critics stated he could not overcome his fathers shadow in racing? They went on to become the greatest of their time. What will you do? It is never to late to decide to take control of your life and make something great of it. Look at Sam Walton. He didn't like working with a Ben Franklin franchise and their rules. So he started his own retailing company and became the largest retailer in the world.
If you make attainable goals, take action, and lay out baby steps to achieve these goals there is no way you will fail and there's no telling what you can or will achieve. Some of our greatest achievers have come from the most humbling positions. I wonder what greatness you can and will achieve.
They may not have the current publicity or notoriaty of Donald Trump, Dale Earnhardt or similar, but they came from much humbler starts. Donald Trump was born into a real estate magnate family. Dale Earnhardt was born into a established race car family in Kannapolis North Carolina. Now thats not to say that Donald Trump and Dale Earnhardt are not great people (Dale Earnhardt formed one of the largest and winningest Nascar teams and was very philanthropic and helped a lot of people through his charitable activities). What I am getting at here is that most of us don't have magnates or millions in our families, but that in no wy means we cannot achieve greatness, riches beyond our wildest dreams, etc... Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone actually started with much less and in worse times and conditions than we have ever known (the great depression era).
What drove Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone to greatness was two things.
(1)They planned realistic steps to reach attainable goals (baby steps). They didn't just wake up one day and say my only goal is to be rich and retire tomorrow. They made plans and kept slowly raising the bar every time they would attain one of their goals.
(2)They took action. You wouldn't believe how many times I hear people state all the things they are going to do or would like to do. I recently attended a young Cornell Alumni meeting where the talk was mostly about grand future plans, or what they would like to do but they don't have time, the conditions aren't right, etc... You have to start somewhere. If you take too big of a step you will probably become defeated and not continue. It is better to take small attainable steps. Each time you attain one of these steps or your goal raise the bar a little. It will slowly move you closer to your dream and give you a great boost in self confidence. You have to plan out little baby steps and then you have to take action. This will seperate you from everyone else - the majority of people live life day to day, pay check to paycheck with little or no action or planning. You can always find these people complaining about how bad the economy is, taxes are too high, etc...
The best thing you can do is find a mentor and surround yourself with positive achievers and realize it will take a lot of effort. Lance Armstrong didn't win the Tour de France 6 times by accident and battle cancer at the same time. He was driven, set goals, and took action on a daily basis. He also realized greatness would not happen overnight. Greatness didn't come overnight for Dale Earnhardt either. He raced hard for many years, suffered crashes that would have kept most people off the track and faced fear head on. With his tanacity, fierce vigor and drive he became the greatest Nascar legend of all time. Now his son, Dale Jr., continues his racing legacy and awesome philanthropic and charitable activities. If you take the effort to take action, use baby steps to attain goals and make realistic goals you cannot and will not fail. Failure will not be a word in your vocabulary.
Now you know how to achieve greatness. Set goals for yourself. Make them realistic and take realistic baby steps to achieve them. Take action - this will seperate you from 99.9% of everyone else. They are afraid to take action and will never attain greatness. What do you think Lance Armstrong said when critics said he could not win the Tour de France, or that he could not do a repeat win of it? What do you think Dale Earnhardt said when the critics stated he could not overcome his fathers shadow in racing? They went on to become the greatest of their time. What will you do? It is never to late to decide to take control of your life and make something great of it. Look at Sam Walton. He didn't like working with a Ben Franklin franchise and their rules. So he started his own retailing company and became the largest retailer in the world.
If you make attainable goals, take action, and lay out baby steps to achieve these goals there is no way you will fail and there's no telling what you can or will achieve. Some of our greatest achievers have come from the most humbling positions. I wonder what greatness you can and will achieve.
Time Saving Techniques To Boost Your Productivity
The proverbial quote the early bird catches the worm is, more than ever, a significant guiding principle in modern day business management. Starting early or being ahead of the pack increases your chances for succeeding and the sooner you start, the sooner you will achieve success. Clearly this goes hand in hand with utilizing time saving techniques to help you achieve rapid results without compromising your productivity.
There are many systems available that are specifically devised to save time and optimize productivity. The following are just a few steps designed to help you optimize your time and productivity.
Prepare your self and commit to the task at hand before beginning. This is a simple thing to let the idea of spending a short time at the beginning of the day getting your thoughts and the tasks at hand in order can significantly increase your productivity. Simple steps such as preparing a to do list will go a long way to helping you accomplish a daily target. Listing what you need to do in a day helps you analyze and develop baby steps towards completing a week long or month long project that is the culmination of a number of different factors and small tasks.
Have a planned order or sequence that you will follow throughout the day, week or even month. This may even mean that you need to allocate a little of your time to initiate or reorganize an existing plan, or develop a new series of procedures that you work through each day. Remember that although a little preparation and planning can seem like a lot of time out of a busy day, time spent scheduling your tasks can in fact save you more time in the long run. Some steps to get this right are as follows:
o Be realistic about what can be accomplished in a day
o Set a series of tasks that can be completed in allotments of time of about an hour or so
o Take a little time to start and end the day well. A little housekeeping, clearing of your desk, checking emails, emptying the fax machine, checking messages, etc. at the start and finish of the day can go a long way to making you feel more comfortable in your workspace and on top of your communication tasks
o Prioritize your work in your daily to do list. A tip here is that a priority does not always mean the first thing to do; it also means considering any tasks that are reliant upon the completion of other tasks. Incorporating this facet of prioritizing in your planning can have a marked impact on your productivity.
o Take time constraints into planning your tasks. You know that not all your daily task are urgent, so sometimes a little consideration about how to finish tasks according to urgency can also help to make things flow in the workplace more smoothly.
Make sure that you know how to get your work flowing in a positive way. Whilst thinking and planning are an important part of your day to day success and organization, there is no doubt that planning alone will not keep you progressing in the right direction. Be proactive in your approach to your work and you will no doubt notice how completing one or more tasks helps keep you motivated and feeling positive about achieving more. We all can be prone to procrastination from time to time, so setting goals and achieving them is a good way of overcoming this in your daily work routine.
There are many things that can be done to ensure that we boost our productivity. Self-motivation can be a crucial element, but a little know how on prioritizing tasks, setting goals, organizing your time effectively and being able to sequence and schedule your days, weeks and months will certainly take you from being good to being truly efficient and a highly productive worker or organization.
by Deep Arora
There are many systems available that are specifically devised to save time and optimize productivity. The following are just a few steps designed to help you optimize your time and productivity.
Prepare your self and commit to the task at hand before beginning. This is a simple thing to let the idea of spending a short time at the beginning of the day getting your thoughts and the tasks at hand in order can significantly increase your productivity. Simple steps such as preparing a to do list will go a long way to helping you accomplish a daily target. Listing what you need to do in a day helps you analyze and develop baby steps towards completing a week long or month long project that is the culmination of a number of different factors and small tasks.
Have a planned order or sequence that you will follow throughout the day, week or even month. This may even mean that you need to allocate a little of your time to initiate or reorganize an existing plan, or develop a new series of procedures that you work through each day. Remember that although a little preparation and planning can seem like a lot of time out of a busy day, time spent scheduling your tasks can in fact save you more time in the long run. Some steps to get this right are as follows:
o Be realistic about what can be accomplished in a day
o Set a series of tasks that can be completed in allotments of time of about an hour or so
o Take a little time to start and end the day well. A little housekeeping, clearing of your desk, checking emails, emptying the fax machine, checking messages, etc. at the start and finish of the day can go a long way to making you feel more comfortable in your workspace and on top of your communication tasks
o Prioritize your work in your daily to do list. A tip here is that a priority does not always mean the first thing to do; it also means considering any tasks that are reliant upon the completion of other tasks. Incorporating this facet of prioritizing in your planning can have a marked impact on your productivity.
o Take time constraints into planning your tasks. You know that not all your daily task are urgent, so sometimes a little consideration about how to finish tasks according to urgency can also help to make things flow in the workplace more smoothly.
Make sure that you know how to get your work flowing in a positive way. Whilst thinking and planning are an important part of your day to day success and organization, there is no doubt that planning alone will not keep you progressing in the right direction. Be proactive in your approach to your work and you will no doubt notice how completing one or more tasks helps keep you motivated and feeling positive about achieving more. We all can be prone to procrastination from time to time, so setting goals and achieving them is a good way of overcoming this in your daily work routine.
There are many things that can be done to ensure that we boost our productivity. Self-motivation can be a crucial element, but a little know how on prioritizing tasks, setting goals, organizing your time effectively and being able to sequence and schedule your days, weeks and months will certainly take you from being good to being truly efficient and a highly productive worker or organization.
by Deep Arora
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Focus on the Good Stuff: The Power of Appreciation
by Mike Robbins
"Have you ever had something taken away from you only to realize how much you appreciated it after it was gone?
I often ask this question when I start one of my talks or seminars on appreciation. As I pause and wait for people to respond, many hands go up.
Most of us have taken someone or something for granted. We only truly realized how much that person or situation meant to us after the fact.
For example, at the age of twenty three my professional baseball career ended abruptly when I blew out my pitching arm. I was in my third season in the minor leagues with the Kansas City Royals, and just like that my childhood dream was over.
I realized looking back on my eighteen years in competitive baseball that I had only one major regret; I pushed myself so hard that I’d forgotten to enjoy the game. I was so focused on “making it” and on overcoming my weaknesses, I had not taken much time to appreciate what I was doing along the way.
We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t like, what we’re worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced. We live in a culture obsessed with “bad stuff.” Just turn on the news, listen to the conversations and negative attitudes of the people around you, or pay attention to the thoughts in your own head.
The Power of Appreciation in Your Life
What if we stopped this negative obsession and started paying attention to what and whom we appreciate, right now?
Imagine how this simple but profound shift could transform our lives, our families, our relationships, our results, our work groups, our communities, and more. Our experience is a function of what we focus on. Each and every moment we have a choice about where we place our attention.
I am not advocating that we deny, avoid, or run from the challenges, issues, or even the pain in our lives or around us. It’s important that we’re able to confront, face, and deal with these difficulties. However, we don’t have to obsess about the bad stuff and let it run us. We each can consciously choose to focus on the good stuff in our lives, with others, and most importantly towards ourselves.
There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time - if you choose to look for them.
Five Principles for Living a Life Filled With Appreciation
1) Be Grateful – Focus on the many blessings in your life and all that you have to be thankful for.
2) Choose Positive Thoughts and Feelings – Make a conscious decision to transform your negative thoughts and feelings into ones that empower you.
3) Use Positive Words – Pay attention to the words you use with others, about things, and in speaking about yourself. Speak with the most positive words possible. Our words have the power to create, not just describe.
4) Acknowledge Others – Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you and let them know. Be genuine and let others know the positive impact they have on you and your life.
5) Appreciate Yourself – Celebrate who you are, what you do, and the many gifts and talents you have. Self-appreciation is not arrogance; it’s an awareness of your own power and the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.
When we truly focus on this good stuff, our world transforms and we are able to see and experience the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives.
We don’t have to wait until everything is handled. We don’t have to wait until we get it all perfect. And, we don’t have to wait for people to do things exactly as we want them to. We can start appreciating life, others, and ourselves exactly as we are, right now.
Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!
"Have you ever had something taken away from you only to realize how much you appreciated it after it was gone?
I often ask this question when I start one of my talks or seminars on appreciation. As I pause and wait for people to respond, many hands go up.
Most of us have taken someone or something for granted. We only truly realized how much that person or situation meant to us after the fact.
For example, at the age of twenty three my professional baseball career ended abruptly when I blew out my pitching arm. I was in my third season in the minor leagues with the Kansas City Royals, and just like that my childhood dream was over.
I realized looking back on my eighteen years in competitive baseball that I had only one major regret; I pushed myself so hard that I’d forgotten to enjoy the game. I was so focused on “making it” and on overcoming my weaknesses, I had not taken much time to appreciate what I was doing along the way.
We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t like, what we’re worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced. We live in a culture obsessed with “bad stuff.” Just turn on the news, listen to the conversations and negative attitudes of the people around you, or pay attention to the thoughts in your own head.
The Power of Appreciation in Your Life
What if we stopped this negative obsession and started paying attention to what and whom we appreciate, right now?
Imagine how this simple but profound shift could transform our lives, our families, our relationships, our results, our work groups, our communities, and more. Our experience is a function of what we focus on. Each and every moment we have a choice about where we place our attention.
I am not advocating that we deny, avoid, or run from the challenges, issues, or even the pain in our lives or around us. It’s important that we’re able to confront, face, and deal with these difficulties. However, we don’t have to obsess about the bad stuff and let it run us. We each can consciously choose to focus on the good stuff in our lives, with others, and most importantly towards ourselves.
There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time - if you choose to look for them.
Five Principles for Living a Life Filled With Appreciation
1) Be Grateful – Focus on the many blessings in your life and all that you have to be thankful for.
2) Choose Positive Thoughts and Feelings – Make a conscious decision to transform your negative thoughts and feelings into ones that empower you.
3) Use Positive Words – Pay attention to the words you use with others, about things, and in speaking about yourself. Speak with the most positive words possible. Our words have the power to create, not just describe.
4) Acknowledge Others – Focus on what you appreciate about the people around you and let them know. Be genuine and let others know the positive impact they have on you and your life.
5) Appreciate Yourself – Celebrate who you are, what you do, and the many gifts and talents you have. Self-appreciation is not arrogance; it’s an awareness of your own power and the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.
When we truly focus on this good stuff, our world transforms and we are able to see and experience the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives.
We don’t have to wait until everything is handled. We don’t have to wait until we get it all perfect. And, we don’t have to wait for people to do things exactly as we want them to. We can start appreciating life, others, and ourselves exactly as we are, right now.
Don’t wait ‘til it’s too late!
Your Self Improvement Guide to Success
Everybody wants to be successful in school, love or career. However, to achieve success, you need to work hard, have a positive outlook in life, and you must be willing to take risks. If you already have these traits but still do not have an idea where to start, here is a self-improvement guide to assist you to achieve success.
Identify the importance of success. You should have a clear definition on what success means for you. Set realistic goals that have quantifiable standards. It is better to concentrate on targets that can be achieved realistically, which can give you the feeling of satisfaction and confidence.
Observing successful people can have a great effect on how you look at life. Successful people can give you motivation, allowing you to work harder and follow the path they took. Spend time with these people, be an assistant and ask advice. You can learn so much by observing, studying and doing things that successful people do.
Do not be afraid to take risks. Get out of the box and learn new things. You cannot be successful if you do not aim high and act high. Do not wait for opportunities to knock on your door. Step out and look for them. In any aspect in life, successful people gamble. They make big decision and big investments. Risks are part of our lives and you have to face them. However, make sure to study the odds clearly and if you think that the consequences are good for you, go for it. Be daring.
Giving up should never be an option. Be persistent and do not stop just because you made a mistake or you failed. Failure will always be a part of success. Every successful person has experienced failure one way or the other. One thing that separates them to everybody else is their persistence to work harder and explore for better solutions. Think of answers to your questions. To achieve success, one must be willing to search for solutions even how difficult it may seem. Try every possible way by being creative.
You must believe in yourself at all times. Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Develop those strengths and work on your weaknesses. You should know what things you are capable of accomplishing so that you can set realistic goals. Always have a positive attitude in life. If you believe that you can do anything and you can do better, you can be motivated to work on it and be successful.
Change is the only constant thing in life. Learn to accept changes as part of your success. If you think that the life you have now is not what you want, make a change. Change your attitude, your priorities and your plans. If you want to be successful in life, you must have the spirit to face every change you may encounter.
If you want to succeed, work hard on it. Never expect good things to come your way if you are not doing anything good. Success comes with uphill struggle, determination and sacrifice. You may need to add more time at work, more things to do, more problems to solve. This self-improvement guide is just one way to help you focus on your goal for success and the decision to act on it is in your hands.
Identify the importance of success. You should have a clear definition on what success means for you. Set realistic goals that have quantifiable standards. It is better to concentrate on targets that can be achieved realistically, which can give you the feeling of satisfaction and confidence.
Observing successful people can have a great effect on how you look at life. Successful people can give you motivation, allowing you to work harder and follow the path they took. Spend time with these people, be an assistant and ask advice. You can learn so much by observing, studying and doing things that successful people do.
Do not be afraid to take risks. Get out of the box and learn new things. You cannot be successful if you do not aim high and act high. Do not wait for opportunities to knock on your door. Step out and look for them. In any aspect in life, successful people gamble. They make big decision and big investments. Risks are part of our lives and you have to face them. However, make sure to study the odds clearly and if you think that the consequences are good for you, go for it. Be daring.
Giving up should never be an option. Be persistent and do not stop just because you made a mistake or you failed. Failure will always be a part of success. Every successful person has experienced failure one way or the other. One thing that separates them to everybody else is their persistence to work harder and explore for better solutions. Think of answers to your questions. To achieve success, one must be willing to search for solutions even how difficult it may seem. Try every possible way by being creative.
You must believe in yourself at all times. Be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Develop those strengths and work on your weaknesses. You should know what things you are capable of accomplishing so that you can set realistic goals. Always have a positive attitude in life. If you believe that you can do anything and you can do better, you can be motivated to work on it and be successful.
Change is the only constant thing in life. Learn to accept changes as part of your success. If you think that the life you have now is not what you want, make a change. Change your attitude, your priorities and your plans. If you want to be successful in life, you must have the spirit to face every change you may encounter.
If you want to succeed, work hard on it. Never expect good things to come your way if you are not doing anything good. Success comes with uphill struggle, determination and sacrifice. You may need to add more time at work, more things to do, more problems to solve. This self-improvement guide is just one way to help you focus on your goal for success and the decision to act on it is in your hands.
How to Find Your Passion
We hear a lot these days about how to find your passion and follow your bliss. It’s easy to find your passion. You do it by understanding your values, which determine your attitudes and how you value (positive) or judge (negative) the issues, situations, and people in your life.
Thomas Leonard, the founder of CoachU and Coachville, once said that when we’re feeling satisfied our needs are being met and when we’re feeling fulfilled our values are being met. When you align your life around your values, you will find the happiness and fulfillment that may be eluding you now.
So what are your values? What are the passions that lead you to action and determine what you do with your life?
Eighty years ago, a psychologist by the name of Eduard Spranger identified six values or attitudes we all have to varying degrees of intensity. They are Theoretical, Utilitarian, Aesthetic, Social, Individualistic, and Traditional.
The two you rank highest in are your passions, numbers three and four are situational, and you will tend to have an indifferent or negative attitude toward people who are high in those you rank as numbers five and six.
The Six Personal Values
Theoretical. If this is your highest value, you have a passion for knowledge – knowledge for its own sake. Your goal is discovery of truth and you believe everything must be rationally justified. You like doing research, reading, studying, learning. You believe as Frances Bacon did that, “Knowledge is power.”
Utilitarian. Your goal is utility and what is useful. You are practical and will maximize your assets. Your passion is a return on investment of your time, talent, or resources. You will enjoy a career in sales or become a CEO or an entrepreneur. You measure your success by how much money you earn.
Aesthetic. Your goal is to experience your inner vision. Your passions are beauty, balance, form, and harmony in all aspects of life. You like for things to run smoothly and may feel more stressed when faced with adversity than most people. You must be surrounded by beauty as you define it. You are profoundly interested in the arts and/or nature and may choose one as your lifetime career.
Social. This means humanitarian, not sociable. You believe service to others is the highest calling in life. You are compassionate and would give your last dime to a homeless person. You must have a career or lifestyle that provides you with opportunities to serve.
Individualistic. You are driven to use power and position to achieve your goals and advance your causes. Your passion is to control your own destiny and the destiny of others. Status and authority are important to you. You will be a captain of industry if your Utilitarian value is also high, or serve in the military or law enforcement if your social or traditional values are also high.
Traditional. Your goal is to search for and find the highest meaning in life. Your quest is a system for living. You believe in a higher order of life and consider yourself religious or spiritual. You like order and structure and need to do meaningful work that rewards quality service.
When we differ with the values of the people in our homes and workplaces, conflicts arise. In fact, I believe our most serious conflicts between people are the result of values differences. Just look at the rancor between those who identify themselves as liberal or conservative, for example.
A deep understanding of these six values and knowing which are your highest can help you in many ways. Application of this knowledge can help you choose a career or find work you truly enjoy; resolve conflicts with others and within yourself; hire, manage, or mentor others; achieve more personal growth; and decide which direction to go to be who you truly are.
by Annette Estes
Thomas Leonard, the founder of CoachU and Coachville, once said that when we’re feeling satisfied our needs are being met and when we’re feeling fulfilled our values are being met. When you align your life around your values, you will find the happiness and fulfillment that may be eluding you now.
So what are your values? What are the passions that lead you to action and determine what you do with your life?
Eighty years ago, a psychologist by the name of Eduard Spranger identified six values or attitudes we all have to varying degrees of intensity. They are Theoretical, Utilitarian, Aesthetic, Social, Individualistic, and Traditional.
The two you rank highest in are your passions, numbers three and four are situational, and you will tend to have an indifferent or negative attitude toward people who are high in those you rank as numbers five and six.
The Six Personal Values
Theoretical. If this is your highest value, you have a passion for knowledge – knowledge for its own sake. Your goal is discovery of truth and you believe everything must be rationally justified. You like doing research, reading, studying, learning. You believe as Frances Bacon did that, “Knowledge is power.”
Utilitarian. Your goal is utility and what is useful. You are practical and will maximize your assets. Your passion is a return on investment of your time, talent, or resources. You will enjoy a career in sales or become a CEO or an entrepreneur. You measure your success by how much money you earn.
Aesthetic. Your goal is to experience your inner vision. Your passions are beauty, balance, form, and harmony in all aspects of life. You like for things to run smoothly and may feel more stressed when faced with adversity than most people. You must be surrounded by beauty as you define it. You are profoundly interested in the arts and/or nature and may choose one as your lifetime career.
Social. This means humanitarian, not sociable. You believe service to others is the highest calling in life. You are compassionate and would give your last dime to a homeless person. You must have a career or lifestyle that provides you with opportunities to serve.
Individualistic. You are driven to use power and position to achieve your goals and advance your causes. Your passion is to control your own destiny and the destiny of others. Status and authority are important to you. You will be a captain of industry if your Utilitarian value is also high, or serve in the military or law enforcement if your social or traditional values are also high.
Traditional. Your goal is to search for and find the highest meaning in life. Your quest is a system for living. You believe in a higher order of life and consider yourself religious or spiritual. You like order and structure and need to do meaningful work that rewards quality service.
When we differ with the values of the people in our homes and workplaces, conflicts arise. In fact, I believe our most serious conflicts between people are the result of values differences. Just look at the rancor between those who identify themselves as liberal or conservative, for example.
A deep understanding of these six values and knowing which are your highest can help you in many ways. Application of this knowledge can help you choose a career or find work you truly enjoy; resolve conflicts with others and within yourself; hire, manage, or mentor others; achieve more personal growth; and decide which direction to go to be who you truly are.
by Annette Estes
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Get your priorities right
A LIST of “things to do” for each day and week is a valuable aid to managing your time. A “to do” list organises your thinking and planning onto one form in the least amount of time with the maximum amount of efficiency.
A “to do” list is especially helpful if it coincides with the record-keeping you already do for your company. After a short time, you will find yourself handling a greater volume of work without increasing your stress. You will simply become more efficient.
Because we are creatures of habit, it is a good idea for you to fill out your “to do” list at the same time every day. This way, you will be committed to a routine and will avoid procrastination.
Whether you fill it out in the evening for the next day or first thing in the morning for the current day is unimportant. Keep in mind, however, that you are often in a hurry in the morning and may be tempted to skip it.
Parkinson’s Law states that work expands to fill the time allotted for it. Your “to do” list should, therefore, define a specific amount of time (if possible) for each activity. This will keep work from “expanding”.
Your activities should be listed in order of priority. Work on high priorities first. In listing the activities, it is helpful to spell out the result as well as the process. Stating when, where, and what you are going to do increases your chances of doing it successfully.
As the day goes by, check off completed activities and make any notes that seem relevant. In the evening, make out a new “to do” list for the next day and include any activities you did not complete. Always save your “to do” lists for future reference and evaluation.
How to add extra time to your day
HAS this ever happened to you?
You start your day thinking you have all the time in the world to finish a project and meet your deadline.
Then you check your e-mail ...
Then the phone rings ...
Then you find out it’s your turn to make the company coffee run ...
Then you make the mistake of asking your co-worker (you know the really chatty one) how their day is going ...
The next thing you know it’s 5 o’clock ... and you’re not even half-way to getting that project done. And you have to stay late again.
Time is a powerful force in your life.
Most people allow it to control them — constantly trying to catch up and get ahead. Yet time can be a commodity that you can use to your advantage — by controlling your time, instead of allowing it to control you.
By managing your time effectively, you can finish what you need to do, and have time to do what you want to do.
A “to do” list is especially helpful if it coincides with the record-keeping you already do for your company. After a short time, you will find yourself handling a greater volume of work without increasing your stress. You will simply become more efficient.
Because we are creatures of habit, it is a good idea for you to fill out your “to do” list at the same time every day. This way, you will be committed to a routine and will avoid procrastination.
Whether you fill it out in the evening for the next day or first thing in the morning for the current day is unimportant. Keep in mind, however, that you are often in a hurry in the morning and may be tempted to skip it.
Parkinson’s Law states that work expands to fill the time allotted for it. Your “to do” list should, therefore, define a specific amount of time (if possible) for each activity. This will keep work from “expanding”.
Your activities should be listed in order of priority. Work on high priorities first. In listing the activities, it is helpful to spell out the result as well as the process. Stating when, where, and what you are going to do increases your chances of doing it successfully.
As the day goes by, check off completed activities and make any notes that seem relevant. In the evening, make out a new “to do” list for the next day and include any activities you did not complete. Always save your “to do” lists for future reference and evaluation.
How to add extra time to your day
HAS this ever happened to you?
You start your day thinking you have all the time in the world to finish a project and meet your deadline.
Then you check your e-mail ...
Then the phone rings ...
Then you find out it’s your turn to make the company coffee run ...
Then you make the mistake of asking your co-worker (you know the really chatty one) how their day is going ...
The next thing you know it’s 5 o’clock ... and you’re not even half-way to getting that project done. And you have to stay late again.
Time is a powerful force in your life.
Most people allow it to control them — constantly trying to catch up and get ahead. Yet time can be a commodity that you can use to your advantage — by controlling your time, instead of allowing it to control you.
By managing your time effectively, you can finish what you need to do, and have time to do what you want to do.
Disaster Or Opportunity?
It seems that everyday now we hear about another new meltdown in the business world. Last week a major US company announced some 50 thousand job layoffs. It seems everyone knows at least one individual, who has been fired, laid off or let go and each week the list grows.
Most of the talk surrounding these events is about survival, panic, blame and depression but is that the only way to look at it?
Did you remember the expression "necessity is the mother of invention"? What could be more "necessary" than your livelihood or producing for your family?
Your options are to sit and bemoan your situation, blaming everyone you can think of and justifying every miserable thought and waiting for someone to come along and rescue you OR you could say "Maybe this road in my life has come to an end so where do I want to go from here? What do I love? What are my marketable skills? When do I want to start my new life?"
Almost a century ago people in the USA were singing the blues over the exhaustion of whale oil and a panic set in about how we were going to survive as this industry was shutting down. And then (whether for good or bad) petroleum oil was discovered in America-and the rest is history. When one thing ends why don't we expect something new to take its place?
Humans are so afraid of change or new paths in life that they never want anything to change. Part of the problem financially in America at the present is that very few are willing to close one chapter of life, admit that it is over and then start a new chapter. As long as this denial continues in business or person lives, no growth or recover will ever happen.
Five years ago at the age of 54 my wife and I decided to move from the East Coast to the West and start a new course in life. We did this not because we were forced to but because we wanted new growth and new opportunity. We didn't consider ourselves too old to start fresh, we wanted a new life and we took it. But very few make this move until they "have to" and then they go kicking and screaming the whole way. It's much easier and more fun when you aggressively seek change and growth.
So if you are facing what most people define as disaster, look at it as an opportunity to take charge of your life and set a new course and new destiny for yourself and your family. It's your life, don't wait for someone else to make it right for you, make the move yourself.
Most of the talk surrounding these events is about survival, panic, blame and depression but is that the only way to look at it?
Did you remember the expression "necessity is the mother of invention"? What could be more "necessary" than your livelihood or producing for your family?
Your options are to sit and bemoan your situation, blaming everyone you can think of and justifying every miserable thought and waiting for someone to come along and rescue you OR you could say "Maybe this road in my life has come to an end so where do I want to go from here? What do I love? What are my marketable skills? When do I want to start my new life?"
Almost a century ago people in the USA were singing the blues over the exhaustion of whale oil and a panic set in about how we were going to survive as this industry was shutting down. And then (whether for good or bad) petroleum oil was discovered in America-and the rest is history. When one thing ends why don't we expect something new to take its place?
Humans are so afraid of change or new paths in life that they never want anything to change. Part of the problem financially in America at the present is that very few are willing to close one chapter of life, admit that it is over and then start a new chapter. As long as this denial continues in business or person lives, no growth or recover will ever happen.
Five years ago at the age of 54 my wife and I decided to move from the East Coast to the West and start a new course in life. We did this not because we were forced to but because we wanted new growth and new opportunity. We didn't consider ourselves too old to start fresh, we wanted a new life and we took it. But very few make this move until they "have to" and then they go kicking and screaming the whole way. It's much easier and more fun when you aggressively seek change and growth.
So if you are facing what most people define as disaster, look at it as an opportunity to take charge of your life and set a new course and new destiny for yourself and your family. It's your life, don't wait for someone else to make it right for you, make the move yourself.
Dream at the Highest Level
Do you want to know the reason why some people achieve so much more with their lives when they may start off at or near the bottom in terms of finances and social standing? Or do you wonder what the difference is between you and the guy who drives by in his brand new Porsche or Ferrari while you drive your ten year old Subaru?
What level do you dream at? When you are imagining yourself living a better life or wanting for things, do you allow yourself to go the highest level or do you settle for something far less than what you really want?
One of the great secrets of those people who rise up to a higher level in life is that they actually desire to get there. They don't just wish and they certainly don't settle for anything less. You could be one of those guys that other people wonder about. You could have that car or that business that you really want deep down in your heart. All you have to do is let go of the mentality of settling for less. If we only have one life to live, why would we not aspire to be as successful and achieve all that we can?
Dream at the highest level in your life. Make these dreams real. Take the actions that are necessary to achieve them. Go back to school, change jobs, or start your own business.
Whatever you choose to do, put yourself in motion and go out there and get it. The world is full of abundant opportunities if you are willing to expand your life and learn more and then give back more.
What level do you dream at? When you are imagining yourself living a better life or wanting for things, do you allow yourself to go the highest level or do you settle for something far less than what you really want?
One of the great secrets of those people who rise up to a higher level in life is that they actually desire to get there. They don't just wish and they certainly don't settle for anything less. You could be one of those guys that other people wonder about. You could have that car or that business that you really want deep down in your heart. All you have to do is let go of the mentality of settling for less. If we only have one life to live, why would we not aspire to be as successful and achieve all that we can?
Dream at the highest level in your life. Make these dreams real. Take the actions that are necessary to achieve them. Go back to school, change jobs, or start your own business.
Whatever you choose to do, put yourself in motion and go out there and get it. The world is full of abundant opportunities if you are willing to expand your life and learn more and then give back more.
Never Too Young, Never Too Old
ou are never too young to live a healthy lifestyle. The body can be very forgiving in your youth. You can have a diet heavy in fast foods, be a couch potato, and even drink a lot. Many years can go by without feeling the effects of an unhealthy lifestyle. The extra weight, the late nights will probably not catch up with you until you hit boomer stage. If you were lucky enough to have a health oriented family, you are truly ahead of the game. If mom cooked dinners from scratch and limited fatty foods and sugary desserts you are really lucky. If your family was into physical fitness and enjoyed outdoor activities you get another plus. Chances are you will continue your life making healthy food selections, exercising and dealing with stress in a positive way. It is important to have had disappointments in life and instructed in how to deal with them. They are part of life. Sometimes I get really exasperated when I see parents trying to shield their kids from disappointments. One does not get through life without them.
You are never too old to make some changes in your life. Perhaps you are in your fifties, sixties or seventies. You have not exercised much, put on some weight and still hunger for pie and ice cream. The big question here is: do you want to change? You may feel like you have reached your age somehow and want to just enjoy life, and do whatever you want. The downside of this is you may not feel so great, and could be taking prescription drugs and having unpleasant reactions to those. Please do not stop taking your prescriptions, and do not make any changes until you talk with your health provider.
Lets say you get the green light from your healthy practitioner. It may be time to change your eating habits. Think veggies and fruit and lots of fish. Start walking, even one mile a day. Think about taking yoga or pilates for a gentle work out. Your stress level will shrink, your body will respond and you will feel good. Look into taking vitamins and supplements that work with a particular condition you may have. Think how self-righteous you will feel. It is truly amazing that making a few changes can make major changes in your life.
by Carol Stanley
You are never too old to make some changes in your life. Perhaps you are in your fifties, sixties or seventies. You have not exercised much, put on some weight and still hunger for pie and ice cream. The big question here is: do you want to change? You may feel like you have reached your age somehow and want to just enjoy life, and do whatever you want. The downside of this is you may not feel so great, and could be taking prescription drugs and having unpleasant reactions to those. Please do not stop taking your prescriptions, and do not make any changes until you talk with your health provider.
Lets say you get the green light from your healthy practitioner. It may be time to change your eating habits. Think veggies and fruit and lots of fish. Start walking, even one mile a day. Think about taking yoga or pilates for a gentle work out. Your stress level will shrink, your body will respond and you will feel good. Look into taking vitamins and supplements that work with a particular condition you may have. Think how self-righteous you will feel. It is truly amazing that making a few changes can make major changes in your life.
by Carol Stanley
Change From the Inside Out
There comes a time in everyone's life when they know they have to change. Maybe you're graduating from school and are ready to make the shift from dependent child to independent adult. Or perhaps a relationship, career or personal crisis can only be addressed by a profound change in who you are as a person.
But there's a wrong way and a right way to change. The wrong way to change is to let external factors push, prod or manipulate you into changing in ways that don't suit your needs, values or desires. The right way is to create change from the inside out, change that is based on what you want, who you are and what you hope to achieve.
Achieving change from the inside out isn't always the easiest approach, but it is by far the most effective method and one that leads to lasting, positive results. Allowing others to control our change does have the benefit of taking all of the hard work out of our hands. But it often leads to resentment, dissatisfaction and, ultimately, the need to change again. It becomes a constant cycle of one poor fit after another.
Here are some things you'll need to know in order to create the kind of stable, successful change that can only come from within.
What has to change, and why? Lay out what it is about your current life or situation that needs to be addressed by the change. List the things that can remain the same and the things that must be changed. Also, ask yourself what it is you liked about your current state of affairs, and what you didn't like. This will help ensure that the change you make fits your needs and desires.
For example, if you've lost your job then you obviously can't keep working at your old position, so that has to change. However, you can remain in contact with your colleagues, and you may be able to retain access to certain resources or connections that would be useful in your new career. And listing the things you liked and didn't like about your former job will help you make a better decision about your new one.
What's important to me? Before you make any plans to change, determine what's important to you - your values, your needs, your desires, your interests and so on. Change that doesn't address these will be ineffective and probably unstable. Keep this list handy and reference it at all steps during the change process, to make sure that the decisions you're making take these issues into consideration.
What do I want? Make a "wish list" of things you would like to get out of this change. For example, if you're graduating college and looking for your first "real" job, make a list of all the things you'd like in a job (as well as a list of things you don't want). You may not be able to get everything on your list, of course. But having it will make sure you don't forget something, and will encourage you to compare your options more effectively.
Is this a real want, or a "should"? Internal change comes from our own wants and needs. External change comes from other people's ideas of what we should want or should need. If you find yourself saying, "Maybe I should do this," or "Perhaps this should be a consideration," it's time to check in with yourself to see if this is something you really want, or if it's coming from outside pressures.
Don't let other people tell you what you want. They don't have to live with the consequences of any poor decisions or inappropriate changes you make based on their "suggestions." The only people who get any say in how and what you change are those who have to directly share the consequences of the choices you make (usually, but not always, limited to your spouse and children).
What do I need to do to make this change a reality? Sometimes this involves little more than registering for school or lining up job interviews. But sometimes, it involves changing yourself on a very deep level. Maybe you need to work on anger management, or deal with a pressing medical issue. Perhaps your outlook on life is creating problems or an inability to trust has caused your relationship to falter. There are many types and aspects of personal change, each with its own approach.
Profound personal change is a big step, but it can be done. However, it is rarely something that can be effectively done alone. Consider getting help from a life coach, therapist or other professional if the change involves deep personal change. Remember: asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of being strong enough to know and acknowledge the boundaries of your own limits.
by David B. Bohl
But there's a wrong way and a right way to change. The wrong way to change is to let external factors push, prod or manipulate you into changing in ways that don't suit your needs, values or desires. The right way is to create change from the inside out, change that is based on what you want, who you are and what you hope to achieve.
Achieving change from the inside out isn't always the easiest approach, but it is by far the most effective method and one that leads to lasting, positive results. Allowing others to control our change does have the benefit of taking all of the hard work out of our hands. But it often leads to resentment, dissatisfaction and, ultimately, the need to change again. It becomes a constant cycle of one poor fit after another.
Here are some things you'll need to know in order to create the kind of stable, successful change that can only come from within.
What has to change, and why? Lay out what it is about your current life or situation that needs to be addressed by the change. List the things that can remain the same and the things that must be changed. Also, ask yourself what it is you liked about your current state of affairs, and what you didn't like. This will help ensure that the change you make fits your needs and desires.
For example, if you've lost your job then you obviously can't keep working at your old position, so that has to change. However, you can remain in contact with your colleagues, and you may be able to retain access to certain resources or connections that would be useful in your new career. And listing the things you liked and didn't like about your former job will help you make a better decision about your new one.
What's important to me? Before you make any plans to change, determine what's important to you - your values, your needs, your desires, your interests and so on. Change that doesn't address these will be ineffective and probably unstable. Keep this list handy and reference it at all steps during the change process, to make sure that the decisions you're making take these issues into consideration.
What do I want? Make a "wish list" of things you would like to get out of this change. For example, if you're graduating college and looking for your first "real" job, make a list of all the things you'd like in a job (as well as a list of things you don't want). You may not be able to get everything on your list, of course. But having it will make sure you don't forget something, and will encourage you to compare your options more effectively.
Is this a real want, or a "should"? Internal change comes from our own wants and needs. External change comes from other people's ideas of what we should want or should need. If you find yourself saying, "Maybe I should do this," or "Perhaps this should be a consideration," it's time to check in with yourself to see if this is something you really want, or if it's coming from outside pressures.
Don't let other people tell you what you want. They don't have to live with the consequences of any poor decisions or inappropriate changes you make based on their "suggestions." The only people who get any say in how and what you change are those who have to directly share the consequences of the choices you make (usually, but not always, limited to your spouse and children).
What do I need to do to make this change a reality? Sometimes this involves little more than registering for school or lining up job interviews. But sometimes, it involves changing yourself on a very deep level. Maybe you need to work on anger management, or deal with a pressing medical issue. Perhaps your outlook on life is creating problems or an inability to trust has caused your relationship to falter. There are many types and aspects of personal change, each with its own approach.
Profound personal change is a big step, but it can be done. However, it is rarely something that can be effectively done alone. Consider getting help from a life coach, therapist or other professional if the change involves deep personal change. Remember: asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of being strong enough to know and acknowledge the boundaries of your own limits.
by David B. Bohl
Sunday, November 23, 2008
How to Stop Attracting Negative People to Your Life
by Michael Losier
Placing your attention, energy and focus on the negative aspects of some people in your life brings you more of the same. Simply put, that's the Law of Attraction at work.
When you shift your attention to the kinds of people you DO want in your life, that shift, coupled with your clear desire to STOP attracting negative people into your life, will set the energy in motion for new results to show up. When you shift from what you don't want to what you do want, your vibration changes. And know this, you can only hold one vibration at a time! The Law of Attraction is always matching your vibration in any given moment.
The Law of Attraction can be used to ensure that you are always in vibrational harmony with the people you are attracting into your life. If you plot your vibration on a scale that measures from 1-100, with 100 being the highest calibration, you are currently attracting other people into your life that match your score on this scale. In other words, if your vibration measures 75 on this scale and a person in your life measures closely to that, you are a close vibrational match. It is also important to realize that if your vibration measures 30 on this scale, you are a close match to another person whose vibration is at 30.
Your feelings always tell you if you are in vibrational harmony with another person. When you meet someone who is offering a significantly lower vibration than yours, you often feel dragged down by that person, i.e. the experience just doesn't feel good. On the other hand, when you are with someone who vibrates closely to your score, it feels good to be with them. You are in vibrational harmony with that person. Suppose you are the one with the much lower vibration. If you experience a person with a significantly higher vibration, you may feel uplifted and raise your vibe to match theirs, or you may feel uncomfortable being around them. In short, the distance between your score and the score of another person, equals the extent to which it doesn't feel good. We call that resistance. The greater difference in the scores, the greater resistance there is.
Here's a great tool to help you next time you experience a negative person in your life. While you are having a conversation with that person, perhaps listening to them describe (in great detail), what they don't want and how negative their life is, ask them the following question "So, what do you want? How would you like it to be different?" In their response, they will stop talking about what they don't want and start talking about what they do want. In that very moment, their vibration will shift and they'll start raising their vibration to match yours.
Remember too, people treat you the way you allow them to. In Law of Attraction this means that you can set your vibrational boundaries so that you will only participate in and maintain positive conversations. Feeding into somebody's negative conversation will bring your vibration down. Decide today to maintain your high vibration and stop feeding into other people's negative vibes. This will go a long way to maintaining your high, positive vibration, which will in turn, attract other people with high, positive vibrations into your life.
Placing your attention, energy and focus on the negative aspects of some people in your life brings you more of the same. Simply put, that's the Law of Attraction at work.
When you shift your attention to the kinds of people you DO want in your life, that shift, coupled with your clear desire to STOP attracting negative people into your life, will set the energy in motion for new results to show up. When you shift from what you don't want to what you do want, your vibration changes. And know this, you can only hold one vibration at a time! The Law of Attraction is always matching your vibration in any given moment.
The Law of Attraction can be used to ensure that you are always in vibrational harmony with the people you are attracting into your life. If you plot your vibration on a scale that measures from 1-100, with 100 being the highest calibration, you are currently attracting other people into your life that match your score on this scale. In other words, if your vibration measures 75 on this scale and a person in your life measures closely to that, you are a close vibrational match. It is also important to realize that if your vibration measures 30 on this scale, you are a close match to another person whose vibration is at 30.
Your feelings always tell you if you are in vibrational harmony with another person. When you meet someone who is offering a significantly lower vibration than yours, you often feel dragged down by that person, i.e. the experience just doesn't feel good. On the other hand, when you are with someone who vibrates closely to your score, it feels good to be with them. You are in vibrational harmony with that person. Suppose you are the one with the much lower vibration. If you experience a person with a significantly higher vibration, you may feel uplifted and raise your vibe to match theirs, or you may feel uncomfortable being around them. In short, the distance between your score and the score of another person, equals the extent to which it doesn't feel good. We call that resistance. The greater difference in the scores, the greater resistance there is.
Here's a great tool to help you next time you experience a negative person in your life. While you are having a conversation with that person, perhaps listening to them describe (in great detail), what they don't want and how negative their life is, ask them the following question "So, what do you want? How would you like it to be different?" In their response, they will stop talking about what they don't want and start talking about what they do want. In that very moment, their vibration will shift and they'll start raising their vibration to match yours.
Remember too, people treat you the way you allow them to. In Law of Attraction this means that you can set your vibrational boundaries so that you will only participate in and maintain positive conversations. Feeding into somebody's negative conversation will bring your vibration down. Decide today to maintain your high vibration and stop feeding into other people's negative vibes. This will go a long way to maintaining your high, positive vibration, which will in turn, attract other people with high, positive vibrations into your life.
5 ways to attract more success
"Hesitation, when one is confronted with a great business idea, is without a doubt, the single largest obstacle to wealth. It is only through dynamic action and financial risk that great fortunes are amassed and multiplied." J.P. Morgan
Take responsibility for the choices you've made in life. No matter where you're at, accept that you are where you are as a result of your choices. Then you can effectively move on to finding your passion, fulfilling your dreams and earning multiple streams of income. I know of highly intelligent, highly educated people who will not take that first simple step. They are "stuck" in jobs they can't stand, emotionally bankrupt, and in some cases financially bankrupt, too. Mired in self-pity and constantly blaming others they will never achieve their dreams. So….let's move on to more strategies I learned from that Las Vegas seminar taught by self-made millionaires.
1. Burning desire and personal motivation. Whether you want to achieve overall career success or small business success, you must have a burning desire for whatever it is you want to achieve. Because there will be too many roadblocks and detours along your path. And unless you're fueled by passion, it's too easy to experience overwhelm, lose focus and just plain give up. I love coffee (as I write this I'm sitting outside Starbucks!) but as I do more and more of the work I enjoy, i.e., recording CD's and writing an e-book, my need for caffeine has diminished. I'm fueled by passion, purpose and helping others. It's easy for me to work late into the night. Of course, it's also easier when you have a dog and no small children. You get the point. Ask yourself, if you won $50 million in the lottery, what would you do for work even 10 hours per week. Assume you've already traveled everywhere and bought everything you could want.
2. Hire a motivation or success coach. One of the main reasons businesses fail is lack of planning and lack of focus. Another reason is procrastination. Procrastination is the result of fear. If you're having difficulty getting started, hire a motivation coach to push you past the pain of procrastination and into facing your fears. The investment can cost money in the short term but be well worth it once you start seeing results. Every one of the self-made millionaires this past weekend said early on in their career they hired a success team of coaches, tutors, accountants, attorneys and others who could assist them. The message was "don't try to do everything on your own." You will feel overwhelmed, procrastinate and fail. So where do you find the finances to hire these experts?
3. Offload your stuff. Get rid of the "things" and frivolous expenses that are holding you back. Many self-made millionaires advise this. If you're objecting to hiring a team of experts because you don't know where the money will come from…what can you sell? Many people have items they want to get rid of but aren't sure how to post these items with online websites like EBay or Craig's List. Enlist the help of a friend or expert in this area. Find a way fast to get rid of your credit card debt if you have any. The percentage of Americans with debt is shocking.
4. Your comfort zone is your money zone. This is a cliché, but feel the fear and do it anyway. Be willing to be terrified. To make it easier, find out where you are weakest and grow in those areas. Surround yourself with positive supportive people who've achieved professional success. People who can advise you on how to overcome your obstacles.
5. Take action. Goals are nothing without action. Write your success goals down. Make them specific, measurable and realistic. Keep them in your wallet. Write affirmations for your goals. Tape them to your bathroom and living room mirror, bulletin board and refrigerator. Look at them daily. Tape positive affirmations and play them in your car upon arising in the morning, and just before going to bed. Your subconscious mind is most amenable to suggestion first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed. One gentleman at the conference went from being $90,000 in debt (which he paid off) to earning hundreds of thousands a year with this technique. Bombard yourself with positive messages until you believe them.
The main thing to do is get started. Do something. Do anything that will bring you closer to the personal and professional success you desire. These proven techniques will work for you in achieving greater happiness and fulfillment in any area of your life – if you apply them. Read the right books. Spend the majority of your time with people more successful than you. Hire a success team of experts. Learn the new skills you will have to learn in order to make your dream happen. To stretch into a new money zone, remember you must stretch out of your comfort zone.
By Colleen Kettenhofen - co-author of "The Masters of Success," as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield
Take responsibility for the choices you've made in life. No matter where you're at, accept that you are where you are as a result of your choices. Then you can effectively move on to finding your passion, fulfilling your dreams and earning multiple streams of income. I know of highly intelligent, highly educated people who will not take that first simple step. They are "stuck" in jobs they can't stand, emotionally bankrupt, and in some cases financially bankrupt, too. Mired in self-pity and constantly blaming others they will never achieve their dreams. So….let's move on to more strategies I learned from that Las Vegas seminar taught by self-made millionaires.
1. Burning desire and personal motivation. Whether you want to achieve overall career success or small business success, you must have a burning desire for whatever it is you want to achieve. Because there will be too many roadblocks and detours along your path. And unless you're fueled by passion, it's too easy to experience overwhelm, lose focus and just plain give up. I love coffee (as I write this I'm sitting outside Starbucks!) but as I do more and more of the work I enjoy, i.e., recording CD's and writing an e-book, my need for caffeine has diminished. I'm fueled by passion, purpose and helping others. It's easy for me to work late into the night. Of course, it's also easier when you have a dog and no small children. You get the point. Ask yourself, if you won $50 million in the lottery, what would you do for work even 10 hours per week. Assume you've already traveled everywhere and bought everything you could want.
2. Hire a motivation or success coach. One of the main reasons businesses fail is lack of planning and lack of focus. Another reason is procrastination. Procrastination is the result of fear. If you're having difficulty getting started, hire a motivation coach to push you past the pain of procrastination and into facing your fears. The investment can cost money in the short term but be well worth it once you start seeing results. Every one of the self-made millionaires this past weekend said early on in their career they hired a success team of coaches, tutors, accountants, attorneys and others who could assist them. The message was "don't try to do everything on your own." You will feel overwhelmed, procrastinate and fail. So where do you find the finances to hire these experts?
3. Offload your stuff. Get rid of the "things" and frivolous expenses that are holding you back. Many self-made millionaires advise this. If you're objecting to hiring a team of experts because you don't know where the money will come from…what can you sell? Many people have items they want to get rid of but aren't sure how to post these items with online websites like EBay or Craig's List. Enlist the help of a friend or expert in this area. Find a way fast to get rid of your credit card debt if you have any. The percentage of Americans with debt is shocking.
4. Your comfort zone is your money zone. This is a cliché, but feel the fear and do it anyway. Be willing to be terrified. To make it easier, find out where you are weakest and grow in those areas. Surround yourself with positive supportive people who've achieved professional success. People who can advise you on how to overcome your obstacles.
5. Take action. Goals are nothing without action. Write your success goals down. Make them specific, measurable and realistic. Keep them in your wallet. Write affirmations for your goals. Tape them to your bathroom and living room mirror, bulletin board and refrigerator. Look at them daily. Tape positive affirmations and play them in your car upon arising in the morning, and just before going to bed. Your subconscious mind is most amenable to suggestion first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed. One gentleman at the conference went from being $90,000 in debt (which he paid off) to earning hundreds of thousands a year with this technique. Bombard yourself with positive messages until you believe them.
The main thing to do is get started. Do something. Do anything that will bring you closer to the personal and professional success you desire. These proven techniques will work for you in achieving greater happiness and fulfillment in any area of your life – if you apply them. Read the right books. Spend the majority of your time with people more successful than you. Hire a success team of experts. Learn the new skills you will have to learn in order to make your dream happen. To stretch into a new money zone, remember you must stretch out of your comfort zone.
By Colleen Kettenhofen - co-author of "The Masters of Success," as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield
Fifty Habits of Highly Successful People
by Craig Harper
Habits of successful people:
1. They look for and find opportunities where others see nothing.
2. They find a lesson while others only see a problem.
3. They are solution focused.
4. They consciously and methodically create their own success, while others hope success will find them.
5. They are fearful like everyone else, but they are not controlled or limited by fear.
6. They ask the right questions - the ones which put them in a productive, creative, positive mindset and emotional state.
7. They rarely complain (waste of energy). All complaining does is put the complainer in a negative and unproductive state.
8. They don’t blame (what’s the point?). They take complete responsibility for their actions and outcomes (or lack thereof).
9. While they are not necessarily more talented than the majority, they always find a way to maximise their potential. They get more out of themselves. They use what they have more effectively.
10. They are busy, productive and proactive. While most are laying on the couch, planning, over-thinking, sitting on their hands and generally going around in circles, they are out there getting the job done.
11. They align themselves with like-minded people. They understand the importance of being part of a team. They create win-win relationships.
12. They are ambitious; they want amazing - and why shouldn’t they? They consciously choose to live their best life rather than spending it on auto-pilot.
13. They have clarity and certainty about what they want (and don’t want) for their life. They actually visualise and plan their best reality while others are merely spectators of life.
14. They innovate rather than imitate.
15. They don’t procrastinate and they don’t spend their life waiting for the ‘right time’.
16. They are life-long learners. They constantly work at educating themselves, either formally (academically), informally (watching, listening, asking, reading, student of life) or experientially (doing, trying)… or all three.
17. They are glass half full people - while still being practical and down-to-earth. They have an ability to find the good.
18. They consistently do what they need to do, irrespective of how they are feeling on a given day. They don’t spend their life stopping and starting.
19. They take calculated risks - financial, emotional, professional, psychological.
20. They deal with problems and challenges quickly and effectively, they don’t put their head in the sand. They face their challenges and use them to improve themselves.
21. They don’t believe in, or wait for fate, destiny, chance or luck to determine or shape their future. They believe in, and are committed to actively and consciously creating their own best life.
22. While many people are reactive, they are proactive. They take action before they have to.
23. They are more effective than most at managing their emotions. They feel like we all do but they are not slaves to their emotions.
24. They are good communicators and they consciously work at it.
25. They have a plan for their life and they work methodically at turning that plan into a reality. Their life is not a clumsy series of unplanned events and outcomes.
26. Their desire to be exceptional means that they typically do things that most won’t. They become exceptional by choice. We’re all faced with live-shaping decisions almost daily. Successful people make the decisions that most won’t and don’t.
27. While many people are pleasure junkies and avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, successful people understand the value and benefits of working through the tough stuff that most would avoid.
28. They have identified their core values (what is important to them) and they do their best to live a life which is reflective of those values.
29. They have balance. While they may be financially successful, they know that the terms money and success are not interchangeable. They understand that people who are successful on a financial level only, are not successful at all. Unfortunately we live in a society which teaches that money equals success. Like many other things, money is a tool. It’s certainly not a bad thing but ultimately, it’s just another resource. Unfortunately, too many people worship it.
30. They understand the importance of discipline and self-control. They are strong. They are happy to take the road less travelled.
31. They are secure. They do not derive their sense of worth of self from what they own, who they know, where they live or what they look like.
32. They are generous and kind. They take pleasure in helping others achieve.
33. They are humble and they are happy to admit mistakes and to apologise. They are confident in their ability, but not arrogant. They are happy to learn from others. They are happy to make others look good rather than seek their own personal glory.
34. They are adaptable and embrace change, while the majority are creatures of comfort and habit. They are comfortable with, and embrace, the new and the unfamiliar.
35. They keep themselves in shape physically, not to be mistaken with training for the Olympics or being obsessed with their body. They understand the importance of being physically well. They are not all about looks, they are more concerned with function and health. Their body is not who they are, it’s where they live.
36. They have a big engine. They work hard and are not lazy.
37. They are resilient. When most would throw in the towel, they’re just warming up.
38. They are open to, and more likely to act upon, feedback.
39. They don’t hang out with toxic people.
40. They don’t invest time or emotional energy into things which they have no control of.
41. They are happy to swim against the tide, to do what most won’t. They are not people pleasers and they don’t need constant approval.
42. They are more comfortable with their own company than most.
43. They set higher standards for themselves (a choice we can all make), which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.
44. They don’t rationalise failure. While many are talking about their age, their sore back, their lack of time, their poor genetics, their ‘bad luck’, their nasty boss and their lack of opportunities (all good reasons to fail), they are finding a way to succeed despite all their challenges.
45. They have an off switch. They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life and to have fun.
46. Their career is not their identity, it’s their job. It’s not who they are, it’s what they do.
47. They are more interested in effective than they are in easy. While the majority look for the quickest, easiest way (the shortcut), they look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.
48. They finish what they start. While so many spend their life starting things that they never finish, successful people get the job done - even when the excitement and the novelty have worn off. Even when it ain’t fun.
49. They are multi-dimensional, amazing, wonderful complex creatures (as we all are). They realise that not only are they physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. They consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.
50. They practice what they preach. They don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.
So there you have it, your days of reading self-help books are done!
Okay, maybe not. I may have missed a few. Feel free to add a habit or two of your own to the list.
Habits of successful people:
1. They look for and find opportunities where others see nothing.
2. They find a lesson while others only see a problem.
3. They are solution focused.
4. They consciously and methodically create their own success, while others hope success will find them.
5. They are fearful like everyone else, but they are not controlled or limited by fear.
6. They ask the right questions - the ones which put them in a productive, creative, positive mindset and emotional state.
7. They rarely complain (waste of energy). All complaining does is put the complainer in a negative and unproductive state.
8. They don’t blame (what’s the point?). They take complete responsibility for their actions and outcomes (or lack thereof).
9. While they are not necessarily more talented than the majority, they always find a way to maximise their potential. They get more out of themselves. They use what they have more effectively.
10. They are busy, productive and proactive. While most are laying on the couch, planning, over-thinking, sitting on their hands and generally going around in circles, they are out there getting the job done.
11. They align themselves with like-minded people. They understand the importance of being part of a team. They create win-win relationships.
12. They are ambitious; they want amazing - and why shouldn’t they? They consciously choose to live their best life rather than spending it on auto-pilot.
13. They have clarity and certainty about what they want (and don’t want) for their life. They actually visualise and plan their best reality while others are merely spectators of life.
14. They innovate rather than imitate.
15. They don’t procrastinate and they don’t spend their life waiting for the ‘right time’.
16. They are life-long learners. They constantly work at educating themselves, either formally (academically), informally (watching, listening, asking, reading, student of life) or experientially (doing, trying)… or all three.
17. They are glass half full people - while still being practical and down-to-earth. They have an ability to find the good.
18. They consistently do what they need to do, irrespective of how they are feeling on a given day. They don’t spend their life stopping and starting.
19. They take calculated risks - financial, emotional, professional, psychological.
20. They deal with problems and challenges quickly and effectively, they don’t put their head in the sand. They face their challenges and use them to improve themselves.
21. They don’t believe in, or wait for fate, destiny, chance or luck to determine or shape their future. They believe in, and are committed to actively and consciously creating their own best life.
22. While many people are reactive, they are proactive. They take action before they have to.
23. They are more effective than most at managing their emotions. They feel like we all do but they are not slaves to their emotions.
24. They are good communicators and they consciously work at it.
25. They have a plan for their life and they work methodically at turning that plan into a reality. Their life is not a clumsy series of unplanned events and outcomes.
26. Their desire to be exceptional means that they typically do things that most won’t. They become exceptional by choice. We’re all faced with live-shaping decisions almost daily. Successful people make the decisions that most won’t and don’t.
27. While many people are pleasure junkies and avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, successful people understand the value and benefits of working through the tough stuff that most would avoid.
28. They have identified their core values (what is important to them) and they do their best to live a life which is reflective of those values.
29. They have balance. While they may be financially successful, they know that the terms money and success are not interchangeable. They understand that people who are successful on a financial level only, are not successful at all. Unfortunately we live in a society which teaches that money equals success. Like many other things, money is a tool. It’s certainly not a bad thing but ultimately, it’s just another resource. Unfortunately, too many people worship it.
30. They understand the importance of discipline and self-control. They are strong. They are happy to take the road less travelled.
31. They are secure. They do not derive their sense of worth of self from what they own, who they know, where they live or what they look like.
32. They are generous and kind. They take pleasure in helping others achieve.
33. They are humble and they are happy to admit mistakes and to apologise. They are confident in their ability, but not arrogant. They are happy to learn from others. They are happy to make others look good rather than seek their own personal glory.
34. They are adaptable and embrace change, while the majority are creatures of comfort and habit. They are comfortable with, and embrace, the new and the unfamiliar.
35. They keep themselves in shape physically, not to be mistaken with training for the Olympics or being obsessed with their body. They understand the importance of being physically well. They are not all about looks, they are more concerned with function and health. Their body is not who they are, it’s where they live.
36. They have a big engine. They work hard and are not lazy.
37. They are resilient. When most would throw in the towel, they’re just warming up.
38. They are open to, and more likely to act upon, feedback.
39. They don’t hang out with toxic people.
40. They don’t invest time or emotional energy into things which they have no control of.
41. They are happy to swim against the tide, to do what most won’t. They are not people pleasers and they don’t need constant approval.
42. They are more comfortable with their own company than most.
43. They set higher standards for themselves (a choice we can all make), which in turn produces greater commitment, more momentum, a better work ethic and of course, better results.
44. They don’t rationalise failure. While many are talking about their age, their sore back, their lack of time, their poor genetics, their ‘bad luck’, their nasty boss and their lack of opportunities (all good reasons to fail), they are finding a way to succeed despite all their challenges.
45. They have an off switch. They know how to relax, enjoy what they have in their life and to have fun.
46. Their career is not their identity, it’s their job. It’s not who they are, it’s what they do.
47. They are more interested in effective than they are in easy. While the majority look for the quickest, easiest way (the shortcut), they look for the course of action which will produce the best results over the long term.
48. They finish what they start. While so many spend their life starting things that they never finish, successful people get the job done - even when the excitement and the novelty have worn off. Even when it ain’t fun.
49. They are multi-dimensional, amazing, wonderful complex creatures (as we all are). They realise that not only are they physical and psychological beings, but emotional and spiritual creatures as well. They consciously work at being healthy and productive on all levels.
50. They practice what they preach. They don’t talk about the theory, they live the reality.
So there you have it, your days of reading self-help books are done!
Okay, maybe not. I may have missed a few. Feel free to add a habit or two of your own to the list.
Stories of Successful People
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
The group was called The Beatles.
In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency, told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."
She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.
In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."
He went on to become the most popular singer in America named Elvis Presley.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"
In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! - he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention - an electrostatic paper-copying process.
Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today.
The Moral of the above Stories:
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace.
A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS!
Wilma Rudolph was the 20th of 22 children. She was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contacted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralysed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl, who was told she would never walk again, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
The group was called The Beatles.
In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modelling Agency, told modelling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married."
She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.
In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."
He went on to become the most popular singer in America named Elvis Presley.
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them?"
In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 - after seven long years of rejections! - he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to purchase the rights to his invention - an electrostatic paper-copying process.
Haloid became Xerox Corporation we know today.
The Moral of the above Stories:
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. You gain strength, experience and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face.... You must do the thing you cannot do. And remember, the finest steel gets sent through the hottest furnace.
A winner is not one who never fails, but one who NEVER QUITS!
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