Everyone wonders whether or not there is one great secret for truly successful living. There is. And it is not a secret. It has been quietly, steadily telling itself right in front of us all along. We just couldn't hear it over the clatter and chatter of our own secret demands. Listen quietly for a moment. Everything can change right now. Learning to hear this supreme secret is no more difficult than choosing whether to swim against a current or to let it carry you safely to the shore. Let it speak its wisdom to that secret part of you that can not only hear what it is saying but that is, in reality, its very voice. Listen to it now. It is saying, "Want What Life Wants." Think about it. Locked within these four simple words is the secret of an uncompromising power for effortless living; a new kind of power that never fails to place you on the winning side of any situation. Why? Because when you want what Life wants, your wish is for Life itself.
"What if I don't like what life brings to me?"
"Try to see that it is not what life has brought to you that you don't like. It is your reactions that turn the gift of life into the resentment of it."
"I don't want to sound ungrateful, but speaking plainly, I'm tired of being unhappy. What difference does it make why I feel this way?"
"Because these unhappy feelings are born out of life failing to conform to your ideas of what you need to be happy. This shows you, if you will see it, that Life itself isn't denying you happiness. It is your ideas about life that have failed you. Give up these wrong ideas instead of giving up on life. Be increasingly willing to see they are nothing but a constant source of conflict. Your false nature will tell you that you must have these self-protecting ideas; that you can't live without them or you will lose something valuable. What you must do, in spite of any such protest to the contrary, is to see that you can't live with them. All you will lose is your unhappiness."
Here are two lists that will not only make these life-healing ideas more personal for you, but they will help you to help yourself make a higher choice when it comes to what you really want from life. It would be valuable to study then compare the lists to each other. You may wish to add to either list some of your own insights, which I highly encourage you to do.
Let's look at what happens "When You Want What You Want":
1. You are often nervous and anxious because life may not cooperate with your plans.
2. You are willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get what you want, and this may include your integrity.
3. You are usually scheming in some way to win your next victory.
4. You are either in a battle or recovering from one.
5. You are unable to rest quietly when you need to.
6. You are easily angered when someone or something gets in your way.
7. You are forever driven to want something else.
8. You are against anyone else who also wants what you want.
9. You are certain that what you have is who you are.
10. You are always trying to convince yourself that you got what you want.
Now carefully consider the following. "When You Want What Life Wants":
1. You are never disappointed with what happens.
2. You are always in the right place at the right time.
3. You are quietly confident no matter what the circumstances.
4. You are out of the reach of anger and anxiety.
5. You are awake and sensitive to your surroundings.
6. You are free of ever feeling as though you've missed out.
7. You are never thrown for a loss.
8. You are in total command of events.
9. You are mentally quiet.
10. You are eternally grateful.
"Is there a simple guideline to follow when it comes to distinguishing between what Life wants and what I want? How can I easily tell which is which?"
"Always remember the following. If any want is the source of anxiety or sorrow, that want is yours and not Life's. If the want has pain, it is in vain. To let real Life flood in, pull yourself out of the flood of self-wants that promise a future pleasure but only deliver a present pain."
"How do I pull myself out of the flood of my own wants?"
"See that you are being washed away by them and you will grow tired of being bounced along. Here is a key. Never accept the presence of any mental or emotional suffering as necessary, no matter how much importance these impostors lend to a particularly pressing want. By refusing their dark presence, you make space for the present moment to give you its indefinable presence. This is where the Life that you want -- and that wants you -- is waiting."
"All of what you have said makes good sense. To tell the truth, I would like to let go and let Life lead, but I'm afraid. What will happen to me if I give up my demands? Won't I lose control of my life?"
"You cannot lose control of something you never had control over in the first place. No human being controls life -- his or hers or anyone else's. If it weren't for higher cosmic energies coming down, filling and animating your body right now, you couldn't be holding this book in your hands or reading its words. If you want to measure the level of an individual's stress, measure his insistence that life does as he wants. The only thing you will lose by learning to want what life wants is your fear of not being in control -- which was never real control in the first place but only the sensation of it born out of living with its painful opposite."
Here is the most important point of all. No human being needs control over life because, in reality, no one is apart from it. Who you really are, your True Nature, is not separate from life.
Let Life bring you itself. Welcome it. At each instant, it is new, full -- untouched and undiminished by any moment before it. To enter into this full relationship with Life is to give yourself to your Self. Fulfilling the true purpose of Life is fulfilling yourself. Here are five special key lessons to help you want what Life wants.
1. Nothing can be released and resisted at the same time, which means that any attempt to reject some weakness detected in us is the same as protecting it.
2. True nobility is not a question of birth right or social rank; it is the native estate of each soul that, upon awakening to its divine inheritance, knows the strength of these twin truths without having to think about them: justice and mercy are one, as are love and fearlessness.
3. Nothing judges you; it is what you love -- and that love alone -- that either persecutes you, or stands by you in your hour of need.
4. Whoever serves what he or she fears has failed to see that all they win for their service is to become more fearful.
5. We can spend our time struggling, in vain, to make others into what we want them to be, or we can see the inherent flaw in thinking this way and -- rather than trying to change others to suit our needs -- see through the false idea that someone else is responsible for our fulfillment.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
You Can Change the World
A great secret rests inside the heart of every human being:
Each of us is created with the power to change the whole world.
Every human being is born into this world with a nascent interior light. We can think of this light as the power of higher conscience by whose compassionate intelligence we learn to discern what is helpful from what is harmful — to intuitively know the difference between what is good and true, and what is dark and destructive.
When we do our part to make this power active within us, we begin to realize the great truth that nothing on Earth has the power to hurt us. After all, how can any negative force prevail if the light of conscience reveals its unsavory character before it begins its punishing action? Just think of the promise in such a power! Fear, stress, worry, anger, regret, and resentment could hold no sway over our hearts and minds. We are liberated to do what is right and loving in any moment we choose — no matter the circumstances life brings our way.
Now, you may ask, “That’s a wonderful idea, but what does my own higher conscience have to do with changing the world?”
In a word, everything! Consider this: Is there any speck of light anywhere in the universe that isn’t part of all the light in the universe? The answer is “no.” Our own common sense, ancient wise philosophers and sages, and modern Quantum physicists all agree: Light is timeless and indivisible.
Building on this truth, let’s ask another important question: Is there any speck of darkness anywhere in the universe that isn’t part of darkness everywhere in the universe? Again, the answer is evident. For instance, is the dark hatred or fear that consumes a soul in Britain any different in nature from a similar dark state that consumes someone in Brazil — even though the two are thousands of miles apart? We can clearly see that they are both part of the same darkness.
Now, here’s why this idea is exciting to those of us who truly wish to change the world: If we bring light into any darkness anywhere, is not darkness everywhere made less? Mustn’t even the tiniest bit of light added to even the greatest darkness leave that same darkness not so impenetrable? The answer is a brilliant yes!
Once we agree to actualize the Living Light in our own individual life, everything around us, including those things beyond the sphere of our awareness, is altered in its fundamental makeup. Negating even the smallest negative positively changes the whole of reality. All that’s required to realize this promising fact in our life is that we first understand the possibility of changing the world, and then make the specialized interior effort to effect this grand transformation of life. . . .
And here’s exactly how we do it: we no longer allow ourselves to identify with any negative state, regardless of why that state tells us we must embrace its painful presence. We must become as ruthless in detecting and rejecting dark thoughts and feelings as they have been ruthless in wrecking our lives. Here is why this instruction is such an imperative if we wish to know the bright life.
Each time we say “I” to what is destructive or corruptive in us; we actually incorporate and reinforce that same dark state. For example, when we say, “I am angry,” or “I am stressed out,” we literally give consent for the dark force of anger or stress to live inside of us. We become the embodiment of the negative state, and it strengthens its hold on our heart and mind. I know this may seem like a radical idea, but if we observe this process in action, we find that it’s absolutely true.
Whenever we identify with negative forces, we unknowingly provide them with two conditions they can’t otherwise have: First, we give these chaotic states a place to appear within a plane of reality to which they ordinarily have no other access. And second, at the same time, we lend them the vital life energies they must have to sustain their life-draining presence within our psychic system.
There is great power contained in this new understanding, for when we refuse to supply negative states with the vehicle and the life force they need to survive, they cannot flourish. Withdraw water from where weeds grow, and they will wither; it’s a natural law. So, if we wish to end the relationship with what compromises us, we are only required to do one thing: we must no longer lend ourselves to the will of any dark state looking to use us as its vehicle.
This means that in moments of trial, our first task is to wake up, become fully aware of ourselves, and then dare to do the light thing. Here are five simple exercises that you can use to prove this powerful universal principle to yourself:
1. Help make the life of someone else go a little easier in spite of it making yours go a little harder.
2. Refuse to criticize yourself — or anyone else — for not living up to your expectations.
3. Give no voice to any part of you that wants to complain about anything.
4. Catch yourself in a dead run to get something done and voluntarily drop out of the race by deliberately assuming a casual pace.
5. Take one difficult moment and use it as a place to start all over instead of a time to sink into self-pity.
By practicing with these five exercises, you will discover the great power behind the principle of not giving life to negative states. You will begin to see how when we do the work to change ourselves, the whole of life begins to the change for the better. Our health improves, our relationships improve, and we begin to realize our part in the great work of becoming a brighter and brighter embodiment of the light of the world.
Each of us is created with the power to change the whole world.
Every human being is born into this world with a nascent interior light. We can think of this light as the power of higher conscience by whose compassionate intelligence we learn to discern what is helpful from what is harmful — to intuitively know the difference between what is good and true, and what is dark and destructive.
When we do our part to make this power active within us, we begin to realize the great truth that nothing on Earth has the power to hurt us. After all, how can any negative force prevail if the light of conscience reveals its unsavory character before it begins its punishing action? Just think of the promise in such a power! Fear, stress, worry, anger, regret, and resentment could hold no sway over our hearts and minds. We are liberated to do what is right and loving in any moment we choose — no matter the circumstances life brings our way.
Now, you may ask, “That’s a wonderful idea, but what does my own higher conscience have to do with changing the world?”
In a word, everything! Consider this: Is there any speck of light anywhere in the universe that isn’t part of all the light in the universe? The answer is “no.” Our own common sense, ancient wise philosophers and sages, and modern Quantum physicists all agree: Light is timeless and indivisible.
Building on this truth, let’s ask another important question: Is there any speck of darkness anywhere in the universe that isn’t part of darkness everywhere in the universe? Again, the answer is evident. For instance, is the dark hatred or fear that consumes a soul in Britain any different in nature from a similar dark state that consumes someone in Brazil — even though the two are thousands of miles apart? We can clearly see that they are both part of the same darkness.
Now, here’s why this idea is exciting to those of us who truly wish to change the world: If we bring light into any darkness anywhere, is not darkness everywhere made less? Mustn’t even the tiniest bit of light added to even the greatest darkness leave that same darkness not so impenetrable? The answer is a brilliant yes!
Once we agree to actualize the Living Light in our own individual life, everything around us, including those things beyond the sphere of our awareness, is altered in its fundamental makeup. Negating even the smallest negative positively changes the whole of reality. All that’s required to realize this promising fact in our life is that we first understand the possibility of changing the world, and then make the specialized interior effort to effect this grand transformation of life. . . .
And here’s exactly how we do it: we no longer allow ourselves to identify with any negative state, regardless of why that state tells us we must embrace its painful presence. We must become as ruthless in detecting and rejecting dark thoughts and feelings as they have been ruthless in wrecking our lives. Here is why this instruction is such an imperative if we wish to know the bright life.
Each time we say “I” to what is destructive or corruptive in us; we actually incorporate and reinforce that same dark state. For example, when we say, “I am angry,” or “I am stressed out,” we literally give consent for the dark force of anger or stress to live inside of us. We become the embodiment of the negative state, and it strengthens its hold on our heart and mind. I know this may seem like a radical idea, but if we observe this process in action, we find that it’s absolutely true.
Whenever we identify with negative forces, we unknowingly provide them with two conditions they can’t otherwise have: First, we give these chaotic states a place to appear within a plane of reality to which they ordinarily have no other access. And second, at the same time, we lend them the vital life energies they must have to sustain their life-draining presence within our psychic system.
There is great power contained in this new understanding, for when we refuse to supply negative states with the vehicle and the life force they need to survive, they cannot flourish. Withdraw water from where weeds grow, and they will wither; it’s a natural law. So, if we wish to end the relationship with what compromises us, we are only required to do one thing: we must no longer lend ourselves to the will of any dark state looking to use us as its vehicle.
This means that in moments of trial, our first task is to wake up, become fully aware of ourselves, and then dare to do the light thing. Here are five simple exercises that you can use to prove this powerful universal principle to yourself:
1. Help make the life of someone else go a little easier in spite of it making yours go a little harder.
2. Refuse to criticize yourself — or anyone else — for not living up to your expectations.
3. Give no voice to any part of you that wants to complain about anything.
4. Catch yourself in a dead run to get something done and voluntarily drop out of the race by deliberately assuming a casual pace.
5. Take one difficult moment and use it as a place to start all over instead of a time to sink into self-pity.
By practicing with these five exercises, you will discover the great power behind the principle of not giving life to negative states. You will begin to see how when we do the work to change ourselves, the whole of life begins to the change for the better. Our health improves, our relationships improve, and we begin to realize our part in the great work of becoming a brighter and brighter embodiment of the light of the world.
Forging Your Self Confidence
young woman wrote to me recently, telling me that her whole life had taken a different turn since she heard me ask the question, “What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?”
She wrote that, up to that time, this was a question she had never even dared to consider, but now, she thought of nothing else. She had realized, in a great, blinding flash of clarity, that the main thing separating her from her hopes and dreams was the belief in her ability to achieve them.
Most of us are like this for most of our lives. There are many things that we want to be, and have and do, but we hold back. We are unsure because we lack the confidence necessary to step out in faith in the direction of our dreams.
Abraham Maslow said that the story of the human race is the story of men and women “selling themselves short.” Alfred Adler, the great psychotherapist, said that men and women have a natural tendency toward feelings of inferiority and inadequacy.
Because we lack confidence, we don’t think we have the ability to do the kind of things that others have done, and in many cases, we don’t even try.
Just think: What difference would it make in your life if you had an absolutely unshakable confidence in your ability to achieve anything you really put your mind to? What would you want and wish and hope for? What would you dare to dream if you believed in yourself with such deep conviction that you had no fears of failure whatsoever?
Most people start off with little or no self-confidence, but as a result of their own efforts, they become bold and brave and outgoing. And we’ve discovered that if you do the same things that other self-confident men and women do, you, too, will experience the same feelings and get the same results.
The key is to be true to yourself, to be true to the very best that is in you, and to live your life consistent with your highest values and aspirations.
Take some time to think about who you are and what you believe in and what is important to you. Decide that you will never compromise your integrity by trying to be or say or feel something that is not true for you.
Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are-not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be-and know that, taking everything into consideration, you are a pretty good person. After all, we all have our own talents, skills and abilities that make us extraordinary.
No one, including yourself, has any idea of your capabilities or of what you might ultimately do or become. Perhaps the hardest thing to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really can be, and then to incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality.
In developing unshakable levels of self-confidence, your self-esteem and self-regard are important starting points, but they are not enough. People have tried positive thinking and wishing and hoping for years, with only mixed results.
To develop the deep-down kind of self-confidence that leads to victory, you need positive knowing, not just positive thinking.
Lasting self-confidence really comes from a sense of control. When you feel very much in control of yourself and your life, you feel confident enough to do and say the things that are consistent with your highest values.
Psychologists today agree that a feeling of being “out of control” is the primary reason for stress and negativity and for feelings of inferiority and low self-confidence. And the way for you to get a solid sense of control over every part of your life is to set clear goals or objectives, to establish a sense of direction based on purposeful behavior aimed at predetermined ends.
Being true to yourself means knowing exactly what you want and having a plan to achieve it. Lasting self-confidence comes when you absolutely know that you have the capacity to get from where you are to wherever you want to go.
You are behind the wheel of your life. You are the architect of your destiny and the master of your fate.
Instead of being preoccupied with the fear of failure and loss, as most people are, you focus on the opportunity and the possible gains of achievement.
With a clearly defined track to run on, you become success-oriented, and you gradually build your confidence up to the stage where there is very little you will not take on.
Another essential way to build your self-confidence, through positive knowing rather than just positive thinking, is to become very good at what you do. The flip side of self-confidence is “self-efficacy,” or the ability to perform effectively in your chosen area.
You can raise your self-confidence instantly by the simple act of committing yourself to becoming excellent in your chosen field. You immediately separate yourself from the average individual who drifts from job to job and accepts mediocrity as the adequate standard.
Some years ago, a young man named Tim came to one of my personal-development seminars. He was shy and introverted. His handshake was weak and he had tremendous difficulty making eye contact. He sat in the back of the seminar room with his head down, taking notes. He seemed to have few friends, and he didn’t socialize very much during the breaks.
At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was in sales and hadn’t been doing very well up to that time. But he had resolved to change, to go to work on himself, to overcome his shyness and to become very good at selling for his company. He then said good-bye, and I wished him the best of luck as he went on his way.
A year later, he came back to take the seminar again. But this time, he was distinctly different. He was calmer and more self-assured. He was still a little shy, but when he shook hands, his grip was firmer, and his eye contact was better. He sat toward the middle of the seminar room, and he interacted quietly with people around him.
At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was starting to move up in his sales force and had had his best year ever. He was determined to do even better in the year to come.
About 14 months later, Tim came back to the seminar. This time, he brought five people from his company, all of whom he had convinced to come to the seminar, and he had offered to pay their tuition if they weren’t satisfied.
He walked right up to me and shook hands firmly, looking me straight in the eye with a strong, self-confident smile. He asked if I remembered him, and I told him that I remembered him very well. He said that he had brought something that he wanted to show me.
He took out of his pocket a letter from the president of a national corporation-one of the biggest companies in the country-personally congratulating him for the outstanding job he had done in sales in his territory in the past year.
It turned out that Tim had gone from number 33 to number one out of 42 salespeople. His income had risen from $26,000 a year to $98,000, and he had increased his sales volume at a faster rate than any other salesperson in the country had.
He was still quiet, but he had a wonderful air of power and purposefulness about him. He had taken the steps and paid the price to build himself into a fine young man. He had made the decision to do whatever was necessary to overcome his shyness and to develop the kind of personality that he admired in others. He was, and is, in every sense of the word, a self-made man.
Perhaps the most wonderful result of developing high levels of self-confidence is the positive impact that your personality will have on your relationships.
There are two mental laws that are always operating and that determine much of what happens to you in your interactions with people.
The first is the law of attraction, which says that you will inevitably attract into your life people who are very much like you.
The second law is the law of correspondence, which says that your outer world of relationships will correspond perfectly, like a mirror image, to your inner world of personality and temperament.
In combination, these laws simply say that as you change in a positive direction, you will find yourself surrounded by people who are very much like the new person you are becoming.
As you get better, the quality and quantity of your relationships will get better. You will meet nicer, more self-confident, more interesting and enjoyable people.
You will find yourself getting along better with members of the opposite sex, including your spouse.
You will find yourself doing better at your job, or even in a new job, and getting along better with your boss and your coworkers.
Your attitude of confidence and calm assurance will make you more attractive to people. They will want to be around you, to open doors for you, to make opportunities available to you that would not have arisen when you didn’t feel as terrific about yourself as you do now.
Often, people lack self-confidence in their relationships with others because they judge themselves poorly in comparison. Sometimes you become self-conscious of what you are doing and saying, and sometimes you are afraid that people will not like you or accept you the way you want them to.
Well, there is an important mindset that you can adopt to improve your ability to get along well with others in a more relaxed and confident fashion.
It’s important to remember that no one can affect your thoughts or feelings unless there is something that you want from him, or something that you want him to refrain from doing.
As soon as you begin to practice detachment and decide in your own mind that there is nothing that you want or expect from another person, you will find that his ability to shake your self-confidence is greatly reduced.
The people who are the most successful in human relationships are those who practice a calm, healthy detachment from others, and although they are friendly and engaged in the conversation, they don’t allow the behaviors of others to determine how they think and feel about themselves.
As you can see, it is our fears and doubts that, more than anything else, undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence and cause us to think in negative terms about ourselves and our possibilities.
As Maslow said, we begin to “sell ourselves short” and see all the reasons why something might not be possible for us. We magnify the difficulties and minimize the opportunities. We become preoccupied with the possible losses we might suffer and the possible criticisms we might endure.
Our fears and doubts paralyze us, preventing us from acting boldly, lowering our self-confidence and causing us to think and talk in negative terms. In fact, this probably describes the great majority of mankind.
Most people are so preoccupied with their fears that they have time for little else, and this preoccupation manifests itself in much of what they say and do.
The only real antidote to doubt and worry and fear and all the other negative emotions that sabotage our self-confidence is action.
Your conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, positive or negative. When you engage in systematic, purposeful action, using and stretching your abilities to the maximum, you cannot help but feel positive and confident about yourself.
Act as though it were impossible to fail. Act as though you already had a high level of self-confidence.
And continually ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to achieve if I knew I could not fail?” Whatever your answer, you can have it if you can dream it, and if you have the self-confidence to go out and get it.
She wrote that, up to that time, this was a question she had never even dared to consider, but now, she thought of nothing else. She had realized, in a great, blinding flash of clarity, that the main thing separating her from her hopes and dreams was the belief in her ability to achieve them.
Most of us are like this for most of our lives. There are many things that we want to be, and have and do, but we hold back. We are unsure because we lack the confidence necessary to step out in faith in the direction of our dreams.
Abraham Maslow said that the story of the human race is the story of men and women “selling themselves short.” Alfred Adler, the great psychotherapist, said that men and women have a natural tendency toward feelings of inferiority and inadequacy.
Because we lack confidence, we don’t think we have the ability to do the kind of things that others have done, and in many cases, we don’t even try.
Just think: What difference would it make in your life if you had an absolutely unshakable confidence in your ability to achieve anything you really put your mind to? What would you want and wish and hope for? What would you dare to dream if you believed in yourself with such deep conviction that you had no fears of failure whatsoever?
Most people start off with little or no self-confidence, but as a result of their own efforts, they become bold and brave and outgoing. And we’ve discovered that if you do the same things that other self-confident men and women do, you, too, will experience the same feelings and get the same results.
The key is to be true to yourself, to be true to the very best that is in you, and to live your life consistent with your highest values and aspirations.
Take some time to think about who you are and what you believe in and what is important to you. Decide that you will never compromise your integrity by trying to be or say or feel something that is not true for you.
Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are-not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be-and know that, taking everything into consideration, you are a pretty good person. After all, we all have our own talents, skills and abilities that make us extraordinary.
No one, including yourself, has any idea of your capabilities or of what you might ultimately do or become. Perhaps the hardest thing to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really can be, and then to incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality.
In developing unshakable levels of self-confidence, your self-esteem and self-regard are important starting points, but they are not enough. People have tried positive thinking and wishing and hoping for years, with only mixed results.
To develop the deep-down kind of self-confidence that leads to victory, you need positive knowing, not just positive thinking.
Lasting self-confidence really comes from a sense of control. When you feel very much in control of yourself and your life, you feel confident enough to do and say the things that are consistent with your highest values.
Psychologists today agree that a feeling of being “out of control” is the primary reason for stress and negativity and for feelings of inferiority and low self-confidence. And the way for you to get a solid sense of control over every part of your life is to set clear goals or objectives, to establish a sense of direction based on purposeful behavior aimed at predetermined ends.
Being true to yourself means knowing exactly what you want and having a plan to achieve it. Lasting self-confidence comes when you absolutely know that you have the capacity to get from where you are to wherever you want to go.
You are behind the wheel of your life. You are the architect of your destiny and the master of your fate.
Instead of being preoccupied with the fear of failure and loss, as most people are, you focus on the opportunity and the possible gains of achievement.
With a clearly defined track to run on, you become success-oriented, and you gradually build your confidence up to the stage where there is very little you will not take on.
Another essential way to build your self-confidence, through positive knowing rather than just positive thinking, is to become very good at what you do. The flip side of self-confidence is “self-efficacy,” or the ability to perform effectively in your chosen area.
You can raise your self-confidence instantly by the simple act of committing yourself to becoming excellent in your chosen field. You immediately separate yourself from the average individual who drifts from job to job and accepts mediocrity as the adequate standard.
Some years ago, a young man named Tim came to one of my personal-development seminars. He was shy and introverted. His handshake was weak and he had tremendous difficulty making eye contact. He sat in the back of the seminar room with his head down, taking notes. He seemed to have few friends, and he didn’t socialize very much during the breaks.
At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was in sales and hadn’t been doing very well up to that time. But he had resolved to change, to go to work on himself, to overcome his shyness and to become very good at selling for his company. He then said good-bye, and I wished him the best of luck as he went on his way.
A year later, he came back to take the seminar again. But this time, he was distinctly different. He was calmer and more self-assured. He was still a little shy, but when he shook hands, his grip was firmer, and his eye contact was better. He sat toward the middle of the seminar room, and he interacted quietly with people around him.
At the end of the seminar, he told me that he was starting to move up in his sales force and had had his best year ever. He was determined to do even better in the year to come.
About 14 months later, Tim came back to the seminar. This time, he brought five people from his company, all of whom he had convinced to come to the seminar, and he had offered to pay their tuition if they weren’t satisfied.
He walked right up to me and shook hands firmly, looking me straight in the eye with a strong, self-confident smile. He asked if I remembered him, and I told him that I remembered him very well. He said that he had brought something that he wanted to show me.
He took out of his pocket a letter from the president of a national corporation-one of the biggest companies in the country-personally congratulating him for the outstanding job he had done in sales in his territory in the past year.
It turned out that Tim had gone from number 33 to number one out of 42 salespeople. His income had risen from $26,000 a year to $98,000, and he had increased his sales volume at a faster rate than any other salesperson in the country had.
He was still quiet, but he had a wonderful air of power and purposefulness about him. He had taken the steps and paid the price to build himself into a fine young man. He had made the decision to do whatever was necessary to overcome his shyness and to develop the kind of personality that he admired in others. He was, and is, in every sense of the word, a self-made man.
Perhaps the most wonderful result of developing high levels of self-confidence is the positive impact that your personality will have on your relationships.
There are two mental laws that are always operating and that determine much of what happens to you in your interactions with people.
The first is the law of attraction, which says that you will inevitably attract into your life people who are very much like you.
The second law is the law of correspondence, which says that your outer world of relationships will correspond perfectly, like a mirror image, to your inner world of personality and temperament.
In combination, these laws simply say that as you change in a positive direction, you will find yourself surrounded by people who are very much like the new person you are becoming.
As you get better, the quality and quantity of your relationships will get better. You will meet nicer, more self-confident, more interesting and enjoyable people.
You will find yourself getting along better with members of the opposite sex, including your spouse.
You will find yourself doing better at your job, or even in a new job, and getting along better with your boss and your coworkers.
Your attitude of confidence and calm assurance will make you more attractive to people. They will want to be around you, to open doors for you, to make opportunities available to you that would not have arisen when you didn’t feel as terrific about yourself as you do now.
Often, people lack self-confidence in their relationships with others because they judge themselves poorly in comparison. Sometimes you become self-conscious of what you are doing and saying, and sometimes you are afraid that people will not like you or accept you the way you want them to.
Well, there is an important mindset that you can adopt to improve your ability to get along well with others in a more relaxed and confident fashion.
It’s important to remember that no one can affect your thoughts or feelings unless there is something that you want from him, or something that you want him to refrain from doing.
As soon as you begin to practice detachment and decide in your own mind that there is nothing that you want or expect from another person, you will find that his ability to shake your self-confidence is greatly reduced.
The people who are the most successful in human relationships are those who practice a calm, healthy detachment from others, and although they are friendly and engaged in the conversation, they don’t allow the behaviors of others to determine how they think and feel about themselves.
As you can see, it is our fears and doubts that, more than anything else, undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence and cause us to think in negative terms about ourselves and our possibilities.
As Maslow said, we begin to “sell ourselves short” and see all the reasons why something might not be possible for us. We magnify the difficulties and minimize the opportunities. We become preoccupied with the possible losses we might suffer and the possible criticisms we might endure.
Our fears and doubts paralyze us, preventing us from acting boldly, lowering our self-confidence and causing us to think and talk in negative terms. In fact, this probably describes the great majority of mankind.
Most people are so preoccupied with their fears that they have time for little else, and this preoccupation manifests itself in much of what they say and do.
The only real antidote to doubt and worry and fear and all the other negative emotions that sabotage our self-confidence is action.
Your conscious mind can hold only one thought at a time, positive or negative. When you engage in systematic, purposeful action, using and stretching your abilities to the maximum, you cannot help but feel positive and confident about yourself.
Act as though it were impossible to fail. Act as though you already had a high level of self-confidence.
And continually ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to achieve if I knew I could not fail?” Whatever your answer, you can have it if you can dream it, and if you have the self-confidence to go out and get it.
Boost your career fitness
Whether you have let your career fitness slip or never focused on it before, now is an opportune time to get in shape for your professional future.
It does not matter if you need to find a new job right away, think you may hunt for one in the future, or want to grow in the job you already have. There are appropriate steps to boost your marketability, confidence and success.
Career fitness, like physical fitness, should be a lifetime commitment, but once you have got a jumpstart, it is much easier to maintain momentum. Here’s what to do, if you have ...
ONLY 30 DAYS
● Define a realistic employment goal
Tell people exactly the kind of work you are looking for. You need not limit yourself to the title of your last job but you need to be practical about the types of jobs you are qualified for.
● Develop a positioning statement
This is the key statement you will use in networking and job search conversations in response to the question, “Tell me about yourself”. Structure your statement not only around your profession and expertise but also the types of organisations and environments you have worked in and your unique strengths or selling points.
● Fine-tune your statement
Your final statement should communicate your marketability clearly to potential employers. Keep it under one minute and practise saying it aloud until it sounds natural and unrehearsed.
● Recharge your resum
To ensure your resumè gets you an interview, it should be a concise and error-free overview of your experience and capabilities.
Lead with a professional objective statement about what you want to do and a summary emphasising key information contained in the body of the resumè.
● Reach out to those you know
Touch base with everyone, including neighbours, exclassmates and former professors from the university.
Share your employment goal and the names of companies you want to work for. Even if your contacts do not have inroads into those organisations, your list might jog their memory about similar companies or positions where they can help.
ONLY 90 DAYS
● Analyse the situation
Identify the types of companies that are likely to hire someone with your expertise and experience. These may be the same, complementary or tangential industries to the one you are currently in.
Consider other opportunities at your current employer if your present job was eliminated.
● Define targeted employers
Based on your analysis, research and list all the appropriate companies so that when the time to look comes, you do not make the common mistake of pursuing wrong or too few targets.
● Expand your network
Keep in touch with your existing contacts, but use this time to expand the number of people who know you and what you are capable of.
Engage with your peers at work and attend professional association meetings. Make it a point to attend events for local non-profit organisations and at least one community meeting a month. The more people who know you, the more inroads you will have to future opportunities.
ONLY 180 DAYS
● Stretch your mind
When you are not under any pressure to act, you can think creatively about what you want to do, not just what you are qualified to do.
Identify the skills and experiences you already have and those you need to develop to achieve your goal.
● Enhance your skills
Whether or not you want to make a job switch, you should always be developing your skills. Take advantage of learning opportunities provided by your employer. Stay abreast of changes in technology and use online tutorials and built-in help menus to maximise your proficiency.
● Step up at work
You should consciously make a good impression and showcase your capabilities. Strive to meet deadlines, contribute to meetings, welcome new challenges and be a team player.
Be confident, upbeat and pay close attention to your appearance as well. Your professional image will impact your future opportunities, inside and outside the organisation.
Once your career fitness is at a healthy level, maintenance will be relatively easy. Keep attending professional association meetings. This will not only burnish relationships but also keep you posted on important trends that can impact your future.
Update your resumè periodically with your recent accomplishments and you will be ready to seize opportunities that come your way.
Article by David Wee, managing director of Lee Hecht Harrison, a global company that delivers talent management solutions, including career transition.
It does not matter if you need to find a new job right away, think you may hunt for one in the future, or want to grow in the job you already have. There are appropriate steps to boost your marketability, confidence and success.
Career fitness, like physical fitness, should be a lifetime commitment, but once you have got a jumpstart, it is much easier to maintain momentum. Here’s what to do, if you have ...
ONLY 30 DAYS
● Define a realistic employment goal
Tell people exactly the kind of work you are looking for. You need not limit yourself to the title of your last job but you need to be practical about the types of jobs you are qualified for.
● Develop a positioning statement
This is the key statement you will use in networking and job search conversations in response to the question, “Tell me about yourself”. Structure your statement not only around your profession and expertise but also the types of organisations and environments you have worked in and your unique strengths or selling points.
● Fine-tune your statement
Your final statement should communicate your marketability clearly to potential employers. Keep it under one minute and practise saying it aloud until it sounds natural and unrehearsed.
● Recharge your resum
To ensure your resumè gets you an interview, it should be a concise and error-free overview of your experience and capabilities.
Lead with a professional objective statement about what you want to do and a summary emphasising key information contained in the body of the resumè.
● Reach out to those you know
Touch base with everyone, including neighbours, exclassmates and former professors from the university.
Share your employment goal and the names of companies you want to work for. Even if your contacts do not have inroads into those organisations, your list might jog their memory about similar companies or positions where they can help.
ONLY 90 DAYS
● Analyse the situation
Identify the types of companies that are likely to hire someone with your expertise and experience. These may be the same, complementary or tangential industries to the one you are currently in.
Consider other opportunities at your current employer if your present job was eliminated.
● Define targeted employers
Based on your analysis, research and list all the appropriate companies so that when the time to look comes, you do not make the common mistake of pursuing wrong or too few targets.
● Expand your network
Keep in touch with your existing contacts, but use this time to expand the number of people who know you and what you are capable of.
Engage with your peers at work and attend professional association meetings. Make it a point to attend events for local non-profit organisations and at least one community meeting a month. The more people who know you, the more inroads you will have to future opportunities.
ONLY 180 DAYS
● Stretch your mind
When you are not under any pressure to act, you can think creatively about what you want to do, not just what you are qualified to do.
Identify the skills and experiences you already have and those you need to develop to achieve your goal.
● Enhance your skills
Whether or not you want to make a job switch, you should always be developing your skills. Take advantage of learning opportunities provided by your employer. Stay abreast of changes in technology and use online tutorials and built-in help menus to maximise your proficiency.
● Step up at work
You should consciously make a good impression and showcase your capabilities. Strive to meet deadlines, contribute to meetings, welcome new challenges and be a team player.
Be confident, upbeat and pay close attention to your appearance as well. Your professional image will impact your future opportunities, inside and outside the organisation.
Once your career fitness is at a healthy level, maintenance will be relatively easy. Keep attending professional association meetings. This will not only burnish relationships but also keep you posted on important trends that can impact your future.
Update your resumè periodically with your recent accomplishments and you will be ready to seize opportunities that come your way.
Article by David Wee, managing director of Lee Hecht Harrison, a global company that delivers talent management solutions, including career transition.
An eye for detail
WHATEVER can go wrong will go wrong,” says Murphy’s Law, and there is no work so prone to this than event management.
Ask anyone organising events and they will recount with a shudder their experiences at one time or another.
Managing a successful event requires very detailed planning, preparation and follow-through.
In the course of organising an event, you will deal with an assortment of people and organisations — from your company, community bodies, town councils, the public, the police or security and safety services, environment groups, ministries and so on.
In the process, someone — a boss, colleague, supplier or participant — or even the weather can throw a large spanner in the works if you relax for a minute.
And when problems occur, you and your organisation face a loss of reputation and customers. So, you have to be on top of every detail.
Experienced event personnel know this only too well. There is so much you have to pull together — planning and approval processes, entertainment considerations, identification and involvement of key stakeholders, promotion and media strategies, security and safety, back-up plans, manpower, administration and implementation and the budget.
Therefore, you cannot underestimate the importance of planning well ahead for an event.
So where do you start? How can you take steps to minimise the occurrence of Murphy’s Law?
Comprehensive planning
A comprehensive event-planning process is what you should put in place although it cannot guarantee that you will have a trouble-free event.
Nevertheless, it gives you a stronger ability to cope when unforeseen problems crop up.
Remember that no two events are the same. To ensure a higher chance of carrying out an operationally and successful event, you need a good planning guide that covers as many of the key factors in organising events as possible.
Here is a quick overview of the essential elements in a plan:
Aims and targets
Have a good understanding of the type or nature of the event and the various stakeholders’ deliverables to be fulfilled.
This involves profiling your target audience, identifying goals and objectives — that is, what the management expects from the event — and brainstorming.
Time frame
Work out the time frame of the event from conception to delivery.
Budget
A poorly planned budget will certainly create strains and pressures that an event manager would wish to live without.
Venue
Is the event indoors or outdoors? Holding an event at a community hall will have a different impact on capacity provisions and crowd management from holding it at a mall or on the beach.
Choose the wrong location, and everything can go downhill from the beginning, so site-planning is critical.
Roles
Arrange for the appointment of event managers or an event company to undertake the project or the formation of steering and organising committees.
Checklist
Develop an operations schedule, a list of suppliers, a calendar for progress meetings and so on. Organising an event without a detailed checklist is a recipe for disaster.
Marketing
Decide what marketing and promotion exercises you want to do from the planning stage to the execution of the event.
Post-event analysis
Make preparations on how you want to evaluate the event. Consider the quantifiable factors and after-event reports.
These tips merely skim the surface of event planning and execution.
You just have to remember that, as an event organiser, your job is to overlook nothing, schedule everything, and be prepared for the unexpected!
Ask anyone organising events and they will recount with a shudder their experiences at one time or another.
Managing a successful event requires very detailed planning, preparation and follow-through.
In the course of organising an event, you will deal with an assortment of people and organisations — from your company, community bodies, town councils, the public, the police or security and safety services, environment groups, ministries and so on.
In the process, someone — a boss, colleague, supplier or participant — or even the weather can throw a large spanner in the works if you relax for a minute.
And when problems occur, you and your organisation face a loss of reputation and customers. So, you have to be on top of every detail.
Experienced event personnel know this only too well. There is so much you have to pull together — planning and approval processes, entertainment considerations, identification and involvement of key stakeholders, promotion and media strategies, security and safety, back-up plans, manpower, administration and implementation and the budget.
Therefore, you cannot underestimate the importance of planning well ahead for an event.
So where do you start? How can you take steps to minimise the occurrence of Murphy’s Law?
Comprehensive planning
A comprehensive event-planning process is what you should put in place although it cannot guarantee that you will have a trouble-free event.
Nevertheless, it gives you a stronger ability to cope when unforeseen problems crop up.
Remember that no two events are the same. To ensure a higher chance of carrying out an operationally and successful event, you need a good planning guide that covers as many of the key factors in organising events as possible.
Here is a quick overview of the essential elements in a plan:
Aims and targets
Have a good understanding of the type or nature of the event and the various stakeholders’ deliverables to be fulfilled.
This involves profiling your target audience, identifying goals and objectives — that is, what the management expects from the event — and brainstorming.
Time frame
Work out the time frame of the event from conception to delivery.
Budget
A poorly planned budget will certainly create strains and pressures that an event manager would wish to live without.
Venue
Is the event indoors or outdoors? Holding an event at a community hall will have a different impact on capacity provisions and crowd management from holding it at a mall or on the beach.
Choose the wrong location, and everything can go downhill from the beginning, so site-planning is critical.
Roles
Arrange for the appointment of event managers or an event company to undertake the project or the formation of steering and organising committees.
Checklist
Develop an operations schedule, a list of suppliers, a calendar for progress meetings and so on. Organising an event without a detailed checklist is a recipe for disaster.
Marketing
Decide what marketing and promotion exercises you want to do from the planning stage to the execution of the event.
Post-event analysis
Make preparations on how you want to evaluate the event. Consider the quantifiable factors and after-event reports.
These tips merely skim the surface of event planning and execution.
You just have to remember that, as an event organiser, your job is to overlook nothing, schedule everything, and be prepared for the unexpected!
Innovation on the rise
LET’S face it — innovation is what investors pay for.
Both customers and businesses benefit from innovation, and when the business turns a profit, so do investors.
Why is it that two companies can provide the same products and services, use the same marketing techniques and still get two completely different results?
The difference lies in its internal environment. The thing that has the most significant impact on a company budget is morale.
Boosting morale
Companies should pay more attention to morale. Positive employees impact customer satisfaction, loyalty, supply costs, turnover, sick days, project completion, quality and more. These employers treat the workplace with respect and take ownership of the projects they manage and the welfare of their employees.
Demoralised staff swell your costs. They jump ship when the next best thing comes along and waste the money spent on training, causing your projects to fail and your reputation to suffer in the marketplace.
Two departments or teams may virtually be the same, but when the foundation to building and maintaining a positive, high-energy workplace is absent, failure is almost certain.
One way to boost morale is through innovation leadership.
Innovation leaders have great self-confidence, yet they are very humble. They are willing to admit that they do not know and cannot possibly be the best in everything.
That is why they persistently seek to learn as much as they can because they know that they are not done yet. Nor will they ever be.
Take risks
Great innovation leaders have a high degree of determination. They do not give up; they find a way out when they fail.
If people do not see the value of their ideas, they find ways to convince them. If that does not work, they look for other alternatives until people finally see the wisdom of their proposals.
Innovation leaders are usually humble, being surrounded by people who will challenge them if they become arrogant. Their determination does not turn into stubbornness, and they flow through challenges rather than push through them.
Involved leaders are more innovative and they can be quiet, loud or in-between. A common characteristic among them is a restless and probing nature.
Companies that attempt to foster innovation from within the ranks recognise the importance of divergence or of being a maverick.
They often try to limit the fear of failure and promote risk-taking. Robert Johnson, of pharmaceuticals giant Johnson & Johnson, is reputed to have congratulated a manager who lost money on a failed new product. He said: “If you are making mistakes, that means you are making decisions and taking risks.”
Coca-Cola actually celebrated the failure of its sweet “New Coke”, the venture in 1985 that proved to be ill-advised. But the company learnt something important: Coke’s strength was its image, not necessarily its flavour.
Driving innovation requires taking action even in the face of fear. For innovation leaders, courage is not fearlessness, but a willingness to act even when there is apprehension.
Many managers are afraid to ask questions that expose their lack of knowledge, but innovation leaders do it all the time. People may laugh at their ignorance at first, but ideas are usually borne from the resulting answers.
Great innovation leaders have fun learning new things. Whether it is taking classes, reading books, attending presentations, engaging in dialogues or looking for new information on the Web, they do it because they want to learn more.
If there is one thing successful innovators have shown over the years, it is that brilliant ideas come from unexpected places.
Who could have predicted that bicycle mechanics would invent the airplane or that the US Department of Defense would give rise to a freewheeling communications platform like the Internet?
Great innovation leaders have a high level of integrity — they keep their word. They understand that this is the foundation of leadership in all dimensions, not just innovation.
Inspiring trust is critical in leadership. This characteristic is not a tactic at work but a value-driven behaviour in every aspect of their lives.
The first step in doing the impossible is to believe that it is achievable.
Both customers and businesses benefit from innovation, and when the business turns a profit, so do investors.
Why is it that two companies can provide the same products and services, use the same marketing techniques and still get two completely different results?
The difference lies in its internal environment. The thing that has the most significant impact on a company budget is morale.
Boosting morale
Companies should pay more attention to morale. Positive employees impact customer satisfaction, loyalty, supply costs, turnover, sick days, project completion, quality and more. These employers treat the workplace with respect and take ownership of the projects they manage and the welfare of their employees.
Demoralised staff swell your costs. They jump ship when the next best thing comes along and waste the money spent on training, causing your projects to fail and your reputation to suffer in the marketplace.
Two departments or teams may virtually be the same, but when the foundation to building and maintaining a positive, high-energy workplace is absent, failure is almost certain.
One way to boost morale is through innovation leadership.
Innovation leaders have great self-confidence, yet they are very humble. They are willing to admit that they do not know and cannot possibly be the best in everything.
That is why they persistently seek to learn as much as they can because they know that they are not done yet. Nor will they ever be.
Take risks
Great innovation leaders have a high degree of determination. They do not give up; they find a way out when they fail.
If people do not see the value of their ideas, they find ways to convince them. If that does not work, they look for other alternatives until people finally see the wisdom of their proposals.
Innovation leaders are usually humble, being surrounded by people who will challenge them if they become arrogant. Their determination does not turn into stubbornness, and they flow through challenges rather than push through them.
Involved leaders are more innovative and they can be quiet, loud or in-between. A common characteristic among them is a restless and probing nature.
Companies that attempt to foster innovation from within the ranks recognise the importance of divergence or of being a maverick.
They often try to limit the fear of failure and promote risk-taking. Robert Johnson, of pharmaceuticals giant Johnson & Johnson, is reputed to have congratulated a manager who lost money on a failed new product. He said: “If you are making mistakes, that means you are making decisions and taking risks.”
Coca-Cola actually celebrated the failure of its sweet “New Coke”, the venture in 1985 that proved to be ill-advised. But the company learnt something important: Coke’s strength was its image, not necessarily its flavour.
Driving innovation requires taking action even in the face of fear. For innovation leaders, courage is not fearlessness, but a willingness to act even when there is apprehension.
Many managers are afraid to ask questions that expose their lack of knowledge, but innovation leaders do it all the time. People may laugh at their ignorance at first, but ideas are usually borne from the resulting answers.
Great innovation leaders have fun learning new things. Whether it is taking classes, reading books, attending presentations, engaging in dialogues or looking for new information on the Web, they do it because they want to learn more.
If there is one thing successful innovators have shown over the years, it is that brilliant ideas come from unexpected places.
Who could have predicted that bicycle mechanics would invent the airplane or that the US Department of Defense would give rise to a freewheeling communications platform like the Internet?
Great innovation leaders have a high level of integrity — they keep their word. They understand that this is the foundation of leadership in all dimensions, not just innovation.
Inspiring trust is critical in leadership. This characteristic is not a tactic at work but a value-driven behaviour in every aspect of their lives.
The first step in doing the impossible is to believe that it is achievable.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Building ties that bind
AS a leader, you have successfully set the tone and direction for your company and all seems to be going well — potential clients are calling, sales are up, costs are under control, and profits are solid.
However, an undercurrent is developing among your employees — they are simply not getting along. As described in my book, Riding The Waves Without Getting Wet: A Leadership Parable, just when you have figured out how to bail water out of the boat, a rip in the sail threatens your ability to navigate your course.
As a leader, what can you do to set the tone for building good relations with your employees? After 27 years of management and consulting with Fortune 500 companies, I found that the following guidelines are effective in helping leaders improve employee relationships.
1 Learn to listen
Being a good listener starts with your belief system. Do you believe that your employees have suggestions that will make a difference? Or, do you think that only your ideas are able to propel the company forward? Your attitude towards what others have to say will determine whether you are a good listener.
Employees today are savvy and are aware of what management pays attention to, so be sure to acknowledge good ideas, and more importantly, thank people for having the courage to bring up what no one else dares discuss.
2 Know career tracks
Take time to learn about your employees’ past, current and future career goals. Expressing interest in their goals will give you a better idea of how they can contribute to your company and show them that you care enough to help shape their careers.
Smart companies pay very close attention to where employees want to be. Marriott International offers a programme called Career Tracks, where employees can sign up for different development programmes and explore their true potential.
In addition to formal training, many companies now encourage managers to have candid discussions with their subordinates of where they see themselves in five years. In the United States, according to the US Department of Labor, the average new employee will stay only one year and one month at a job. So savvy companies realise a five-year investment for an employee is a long time indeed.
When interviewing candidates, go beyond the typical responses and hone in on the individual’s specific career path. To cite an example, you may have a salesman who wants to move on to market research in five years’ time. The first stage of the careertracks process is to identify the requirements necessary to qualify for the position. It may be an MBA or a concentration in statistical analysis.
With these tangible details, you can form a pact with the employee by helping him meet his goal. What you want to avoid is the employee losing the position because of an oversight.
It would be ideal if your company offers tuition reimbursement. If not, you can arrange an employee’s schedule so he or she can work and still be able to attend class. Or you can assist in any way to help the person to train in another discipline. Periodically, check in with the employee to monitor his or her progress and offer the appropriate encouragement.
3 Cultivate values
Your employees may have valuable ideas for the company that are unrelated to their experience or position. For instance, an accountant may spot an innovative way to move a product while taking a plant tour. An administrative assistant could improve on how sales staff handles phone calls. It is up to you to open the lines of communication between departments to share information and encourage expression of fresh initiatives on how to run your business.
4 Make room for mistakes
Mistakes can possibly cost your company money but do not let this fear define your corporate culture. Remember Teflon and Post-it Notes were discovered by accident. Take the lead in turning a mistake into a learning opportunity. Bring your team together to work on a solution. Paradoxically, taking the pressure off actually curtails mistakes.
As you start to implement these guidelines, you will find that you will be able to better manage your relationships.
Article by Mike Hourigan, who delivers powerful ideas on mastering change at the workplace to global executives.
However, an undercurrent is developing among your employees — they are simply not getting along. As described in my book, Riding The Waves Without Getting Wet: A Leadership Parable, just when you have figured out how to bail water out of the boat, a rip in the sail threatens your ability to navigate your course.
As a leader, what can you do to set the tone for building good relations with your employees? After 27 years of management and consulting with Fortune 500 companies, I found that the following guidelines are effective in helping leaders improve employee relationships.
1 Learn to listen
Being a good listener starts with your belief system. Do you believe that your employees have suggestions that will make a difference? Or, do you think that only your ideas are able to propel the company forward? Your attitude towards what others have to say will determine whether you are a good listener.
Employees today are savvy and are aware of what management pays attention to, so be sure to acknowledge good ideas, and more importantly, thank people for having the courage to bring up what no one else dares discuss.
2 Know career tracks
Take time to learn about your employees’ past, current and future career goals. Expressing interest in their goals will give you a better idea of how they can contribute to your company and show them that you care enough to help shape their careers.
Smart companies pay very close attention to where employees want to be. Marriott International offers a programme called Career Tracks, where employees can sign up for different development programmes and explore their true potential.
In addition to formal training, many companies now encourage managers to have candid discussions with their subordinates of where they see themselves in five years. In the United States, according to the US Department of Labor, the average new employee will stay only one year and one month at a job. So savvy companies realise a five-year investment for an employee is a long time indeed.
When interviewing candidates, go beyond the typical responses and hone in on the individual’s specific career path. To cite an example, you may have a salesman who wants to move on to market research in five years’ time. The first stage of the careertracks process is to identify the requirements necessary to qualify for the position. It may be an MBA or a concentration in statistical analysis.
With these tangible details, you can form a pact with the employee by helping him meet his goal. What you want to avoid is the employee losing the position because of an oversight.
It would be ideal if your company offers tuition reimbursement. If not, you can arrange an employee’s schedule so he or she can work and still be able to attend class. Or you can assist in any way to help the person to train in another discipline. Periodically, check in with the employee to monitor his or her progress and offer the appropriate encouragement.
3 Cultivate values
Your employees may have valuable ideas for the company that are unrelated to their experience or position. For instance, an accountant may spot an innovative way to move a product while taking a plant tour. An administrative assistant could improve on how sales staff handles phone calls. It is up to you to open the lines of communication between departments to share information and encourage expression of fresh initiatives on how to run your business.
4 Make room for mistakes
Mistakes can possibly cost your company money but do not let this fear define your corporate culture. Remember Teflon and Post-it Notes were discovered by accident. Take the lead in turning a mistake into a learning opportunity. Bring your team together to work on a solution. Paradoxically, taking the pressure off actually curtails mistakes.
As you start to implement these guidelines, you will find that you will be able to better manage your relationships.
Article by Mike Hourigan, who delivers powerful ideas on mastering change at the workplace to global executives.
When ‘good’ is not enough
WHAT is the difference between these two statements about John?
1. John is feeling good about the job.
2. John is encouraged and optimistic about the job.
The second sentence gives you more specific information about how John feels about the job.
With this, you understand with greater clarity how he is doing.
Work with emotions
Understanding emotions adds to the quality of your relationships and gives you a capacity for a richer, fuller and more successful life.
Emotions form the conduit through which much of the beauty of your life is enjoyed. They are, in a sense, the glue that holds or breaks up clear communication.
If you are to understand how to ask questions, you must first understand emotions.
Imagine a renowned pianist walking onto the stage in a large concert hall. He is dressed in a black tuxedo with tails. He bows to the audience and then walks over to the piano and flips his tails over the seat and sits down.
He lifts the cover, and there are only eight keys on the keyboard.
He then lifts one finger and plays his music with just the one finger.
He is good, in fact, he may be brilliant, but he cannot bring out the full beauty of the music with such limitations.
Many of us are like this pianist. We have a limited range of emotions and everything must fit through them to be understood.
In its most basic form, we say a feeling is either good or bad.
If we are more daring, we may use words like fear, love, hate, joy, happiness and sadness.
That may be it. That is the range of our understanding of our emotions and the limitations are very similar to the one-fingered pianist on an eight-note keyboard.
Imagine how hard the pianist would have to work to produce beautiful music with only eight keys and one finger.
Understanding and working with emotions are important parts of asking questions and, by extension, human leadership.
The more you understand your emotions, the better questions you can ask.
The better questions you ask, the better leader you become.
For example, how would the four emotions in the following sentence give you more information about someone other than “good”?
John is: satisfied • happy • thrilled • ecstatic
Depending on the emotion, you might ask different questions and you would clearly know more about John and how he feels about his job or his life.
The most effective questions elicit an emotional response.
Yet, if you run all emotions through the limited categories you have given them, you will never master the art of asking questions.
You must use all the keys on a keyboard and all of your fingers to truly learn to play the piano.
So it is with questions. You must learn to understand and work with emotions to truly develop the ability to ask good questions.
Emotions are key to good questions and good leadership for these reasons:
1 Emotions are like smoke
They help you discover where the fires of threat or passion are. You can trace the smoke to its source, which leads you to your core beliefs (your most important beliefs about yourself and how you work).
When you can face those, you can begin the process of building stronger relationships, teams and organisations.
2 You cannot separate emotions from values
Similarly, you cannot separate values and choices. Every organisation is held together by the values it is founded on. These values may be quality, cutting-edge technology, low prices or good service.
Whatever values you define your organisation by, if they are truly your operating values, they will be linked to experiences and have direct connections to people’s hearts and lives.
3 You cannot focus on ‘just the facts'
If you don’t understand your own emotions, you won’t be able to deal with emotions in the answers you get.
You will focus on just the facts and will not understand that facts are interpreted, in part, by each person through the emotions they have (which are influenced by values and choices they have made).
Leaders have to be able to engage their people emotionally. Feeling appreciated makes for happier workers. And happy workers are more productive.
If a leader is unable to ask questions that address emotions or cannot see the point of doing so, he will continue to struggle in his management of the organisation like the one-fingered pianist.
The English novelist Arnold Bennett wrote: “There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.”
1. John is feeling good about the job.
2. John is encouraged and optimistic about the job.
The second sentence gives you more specific information about how John feels about the job.
With this, you understand with greater clarity how he is doing.
Work with emotions
Understanding emotions adds to the quality of your relationships and gives you a capacity for a richer, fuller and more successful life.
Emotions form the conduit through which much of the beauty of your life is enjoyed. They are, in a sense, the glue that holds or breaks up clear communication.
If you are to understand how to ask questions, you must first understand emotions.
Imagine a renowned pianist walking onto the stage in a large concert hall. He is dressed in a black tuxedo with tails. He bows to the audience and then walks over to the piano and flips his tails over the seat and sits down.
He lifts the cover, and there are only eight keys on the keyboard.
He then lifts one finger and plays his music with just the one finger.
He is good, in fact, he may be brilliant, but he cannot bring out the full beauty of the music with such limitations.
Many of us are like this pianist. We have a limited range of emotions and everything must fit through them to be understood.
In its most basic form, we say a feeling is either good or bad.
If we are more daring, we may use words like fear, love, hate, joy, happiness and sadness.
That may be it. That is the range of our understanding of our emotions and the limitations are very similar to the one-fingered pianist on an eight-note keyboard.
Imagine how hard the pianist would have to work to produce beautiful music with only eight keys and one finger.
Understanding and working with emotions are important parts of asking questions and, by extension, human leadership.
The more you understand your emotions, the better questions you can ask.
The better questions you ask, the better leader you become.
For example, how would the four emotions in the following sentence give you more information about someone other than “good”?
John is: satisfied • happy • thrilled • ecstatic
Depending on the emotion, you might ask different questions and you would clearly know more about John and how he feels about his job or his life.
The most effective questions elicit an emotional response.
Yet, if you run all emotions through the limited categories you have given them, you will never master the art of asking questions.
You must use all the keys on a keyboard and all of your fingers to truly learn to play the piano.
So it is with questions. You must learn to understand and work with emotions to truly develop the ability to ask good questions.
Emotions are key to good questions and good leadership for these reasons:
1 Emotions are like smoke
They help you discover where the fires of threat or passion are. You can trace the smoke to its source, which leads you to your core beliefs (your most important beliefs about yourself and how you work).
When you can face those, you can begin the process of building stronger relationships, teams and organisations.
2 You cannot separate emotions from values
Similarly, you cannot separate values and choices. Every organisation is held together by the values it is founded on. These values may be quality, cutting-edge technology, low prices or good service.
Whatever values you define your organisation by, if they are truly your operating values, they will be linked to experiences and have direct connections to people’s hearts and lives.
3 You cannot focus on ‘just the facts'
If you don’t understand your own emotions, you won’t be able to deal with emotions in the answers you get.
You will focus on just the facts and will not understand that facts are interpreted, in part, by each person through the emotions they have (which are influenced by values and choices they have made).
Leaders have to be able to engage their people emotionally. Feeling appreciated makes for happier workers. And happy workers are more productive.
If a leader is unable to ask questions that address emotions or cannot see the point of doing so, he will continue to struggle in his management of the organisation like the one-fingered pianist.
The English novelist Arnold Bennett wrote: “There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.”
Be Prepare for a Job Interview
THE purpose of an interview is to assess your capacity to perform in a particular job and to find out if you fit into the organisation.
Preparing yourself is the secret to a successful interview. This involves reviewing your curriculum vitae and cover letter, doing research on the company and the position and anticipating questions from the recruiter. And before you go for an interview, find out all you can about the company and the job. Doing so will allow you to explain why you are a good match for the position.
The interview is the most important stage during your job search campaign as it determines whether you get the job or not. Think of the interview as the sales pitch in your overall marketing campaign. After all the effort you have put into writing your CV and cover letter, it would be a pity to lose a job opportunity over a lack of preparation.
The big picture
In times of stress, the first thing that fails you is your memory. So you should know your work history and achievements very well.
You should also know why you are right for the job. Your certainty will convince the interviewer.
Arm yourself with as much information about the company as possible. This will help you anticipate the questions the interviewer may ask.
Quick tips
■ Know the exact place and time of the interview, the interviewer’s full name and correct pronunciation of it, and his or her designation;
■ Research the company via the Internet;
■ Learn all you can about the job so you talk about it accurately;
■ Think about the company’s products or services;
■ Network with your contacts for further information;
■ Consider issues the company may face and how they relate to the job;
■ Visualise what it would be like to work in the company;
■ Revise the facts and figures of your present and previous employments;
■ Consider your personal image (how you should appear to the interviewer);
■ Visualise and rehearse the interview;
■ Be ready to lead the interview, if necessary; and
■ Devise a list of questions to ask the interviewer.
Right behaviour
During the interview, be prepared to listen. Focus on what the other person is saying and not on what you are about to say next.
Be an active listener. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as facial expressions to pick up underlying messages.
“Pacing” and “mirroring” are ways to ensure that the interview goes well. Let the interviewer set the pace and respond in kind. If the interviewer is bright and friendly, you should try to be the same. But if the interviewer’s manner is serious and formal, try to behave similarly, as much as your personality will allow.
Be clear
Answer questions in a clear and concise manner. Where possible, use examples to clarify what you mean.
Interviewers will often ask you questions about challenges you think you may face in the position you are interviewing for, or have faced in previous jobs.
Prime yourself by reflecting on situations in your past work experience, using examples to show how you handled the situations and describing the outcomes.
A useful structure for your answers is as follows:
■ Situation — a brief description of the context
■ Tactics — the possible responses or options you considered
■ Action — what you did and why
■ Results — what you achieved Answering questions systematically enables you to demonstrate your achievements lucidly.
Finally, be prepared to accept the job if it is offered to you and you are sure it is what you want. Ask for time to consider the offer only if it is unavoidable.
Preparing yourself is the secret to a successful interview. This involves reviewing your curriculum vitae and cover letter, doing research on the company and the position and anticipating questions from the recruiter. And before you go for an interview, find out all you can about the company and the job. Doing so will allow you to explain why you are a good match for the position.
The interview is the most important stage during your job search campaign as it determines whether you get the job or not. Think of the interview as the sales pitch in your overall marketing campaign. After all the effort you have put into writing your CV and cover letter, it would be a pity to lose a job opportunity over a lack of preparation.
The big picture
In times of stress, the first thing that fails you is your memory. So you should know your work history and achievements very well.
You should also know why you are right for the job. Your certainty will convince the interviewer.
Arm yourself with as much information about the company as possible. This will help you anticipate the questions the interviewer may ask.
Quick tips
■ Know the exact place and time of the interview, the interviewer’s full name and correct pronunciation of it, and his or her designation;
■ Research the company via the Internet;
■ Learn all you can about the job so you talk about it accurately;
■ Think about the company’s products or services;
■ Network with your contacts for further information;
■ Consider issues the company may face and how they relate to the job;
■ Visualise what it would be like to work in the company;
■ Revise the facts and figures of your present and previous employments;
■ Consider your personal image (how you should appear to the interviewer);
■ Visualise and rehearse the interview;
■ Be ready to lead the interview, if necessary; and
■ Devise a list of questions to ask the interviewer.
Right behaviour
During the interview, be prepared to listen. Focus on what the other person is saying and not on what you are about to say next.
Be an active listener. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as facial expressions to pick up underlying messages.
“Pacing” and “mirroring” are ways to ensure that the interview goes well. Let the interviewer set the pace and respond in kind. If the interviewer is bright and friendly, you should try to be the same. But if the interviewer’s manner is serious and formal, try to behave similarly, as much as your personality will allow.
Be clear
Answer questions in a clear and concise manner. Where possible, use examples to clarify what you mean.
Interviewers will often ask you questions about challenges you think you may face in the position you are interviewing for, or have faced in previous jobs.
Prime yourself by reflecting on situations in your past work experience, using examples to show how you handled the situations and describing the outcomes.
A useful structure for your answers is as follows:
■ Situation — a brief description of the context
■ Tactics — the possible responses or options you considered
■ Action — what you did and why
■ Results — what you achieved Answering questions systematically enables you to demonstrate your achievements lucidly.
Finally, be prepared to accept the job if it is offered to you and you are sure it is what you want. Ask for time to consider the offer only if it is unavoidable.
Confront your fears in Public Speaking
FEAR is an unpleasant feeling of perceived risk or danger, real or not.
It functions to make us alert and ready for action should we encounter problems. Depending on the manner in which you handle your apprehension, fear can either stir you to action or immobilise you.
Types of fear
Basically, there are two types of fear — empowering fear and disempowering fear.
Empowering fear may include the fear of developing lung cancer through smoking. This would inhibit you from picking up the bad habit or impel you to kick your addiction. An empowering fear may also be termed as a “healthy” fear.
Of interest here is disempowering fear that can incapacitate aspects of how you function if you do not overcome your fear.
How would you respond when you are asked to give an impromptu speech in public? This may send some people’s heartbeats racing or give them butterflies in their stomachs.
It is no surprise that public speaking has been ranked as one of the top causes of anxiety in people. Let’s examine the roots of the fear of public speaking.
Truth be told
Why do so many people dread public speaking?
The truth is, most people are not fearful of speaking in public per se. Instead they are more apprehensive about the unfavourable scenarios that they have built up in their minds.
For instance, people who have a phobia of public speaking may be afraid of rejection.
“What if I perform badly and end up making a fool of myself?” and “What if my audience dislikes me and rejects me?” are some thoughts that flit through their minds.
If you perceive yourself being rejected and faltering as a speaker, this may very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Usually, speakers who are not confident are likely to lose their audience’s attention.
On the flip side, having fear is not always a bad thing. If you never experience any fear, it is likely that you are living your life much too safely and avoiding challenges.
It is only when you conquer your fears and venture out of your comfort zone that you learn and grow most as a person.
Managing fear
When it comes to public speaking, there are only two choices: You can either avoid it or face it.
Dodging will only remove your discomfort temporarily as your fear returns when you are asked to deliver a speech again.
You can successfully eradicate your fear only when you identify the root of the problem and learn the art of re-directing your focus. Ask yourself: “What can I do to overcome this fear and become a better speaker?”
One of the most effective techniques to deal with fear is to practise visualisation. You can start by picturing yourself in the act of accomplishing your most lofty goals. Flex the muscles of your imagination and envisage what it feels like to live in a world where you are comfortable making a speech or giving a presentation in front of thousands of people.
Visualising success allows you to overcome your fear directly. The more time you spend thinking positively about what you want to accomplish, the less time you have to be fearful.
Fear does not necessarily inhibit you. Learning how to separate unhealthy from healthy fears, letting go of fears that paralyse you and focusing your energy on eliminating them can do wonders for your well-being and self-esteem.
It functions to make us alert and ready for action should we encounter problems. Depending on the manner in which you handle your apprehension, fear can either stir you to action or immobilise you.
Types of fear
Basically, there are two types of fear — empowering fear and disempowering fear.
Empowering fear may include the fear of developing lung cancer through smoking. This would inhibit you from picking up the bad habit or impel you to kick your addiction. An empowering fear may also be termed as a “healthy” fear.
Of interest here is disempowering fear that can incapacitate aspects of how you function if you do not overcome your fear.
How would you respond when you are asked to give an impromptu speech in public? This may send some people’s heartbeats racing or give them butterflies in their stomachs.
It is no surprise that public speaking has been ranked as one of the top causes of anxiety in people. Let’s examine the roots of the fear of public speaking.
Truth be told
Why do so many people dread public speaking?
The truth is, most people are not fearful of speaking in public per se. Instead they are more apprehensive about the unfavourable scenarios that they have built up in their minds.
For instance, people who have a phobia of public speaking may be afraid of rejection.
“What if I perform badly and end up making a fool of myself?” and “What if my audience dislikes me and rejects me?” are some thoughts that flit through their minds.
If you perceive yourself being rejected and faltering as a speaker, this may very well be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Usually, speakers who are not confident are likely to lose their audience’s attention.
On the flip side, having fear is not always a bad thing. If you never experience any fear, it is likely that you are living your life much too safely and avoiding challenges.
It is only when you conquer your fears and venture out of your comfort zone that you learn and grow most as a person.
Managing fear
When it comes to public speaking, there are only two choices: You can either avoid it or face it.
Dodging will only remove your discomfort temporarily as your fear returns when you are asked to deliver a speech again.
You can successfully eradicate your fear only when you identify the root of the problem and learn the art of re-directing your focus. Ask yourself: “What can I do to overcome this fear and become a better speaker?”
One of the most effective techniques to deal with fear is to practise visualisation. You can start by picturing yourself in the act of accomplishing your most lofty goals. Flex the muscles of your imagination and envisage what it feels like to live in a world where you are comfortable making a speech or giving a presentation in front of thousands of people.
Visualising success allows you to overcome your fear directly. The more time you spend thinking positively about what you want to accomplish, the less time you have to be fearful.
Fear does not necessarily inhibit you. Learning how to separate unhealthy from healthy fears, letting go of fears that paralyse you and focusing your energy on eliminating them can do wonders for your well-being and self-esteem.
Learn from the best
WHEN people think about leadership, they undoubtedly turn to their senior management to provide it.
This also means that these leaders have an obligation to set a compelling example by incorporating a set of values, attitudes and practices not only at work, but in their personal lives as well.
There is no one-size-fits-all, pre-formulated pill to effective leadership. However, since much about it can be learnt from emulating others, this article benchmarks and examines some of the best leaders in the world to develop these “five rules of powerful leadership”:
1 Practise what you preach
More often than top managers realise, there are discrepancies between what they preach and what they actually do. Such discrepancies might even seem insignificant but could potentially cripple their credibility.
For example, if you preach work-life balance in your company and then set targets that require your staff to work long hours, it comes across as insincere. Or if you stress a “promote-from-within” culture but keep recruiting from outside to fill the senior level positions, your employees will eventually lose faith in your leadership.
Renault-Nissan’s chief executive officer Carlos Ghosn hit the nail on the head when he said: “I personally believe the best training is management by example. Don’t believe what I say. Believe what I do.”
2 Walk the tightrope
Former British prime minister Tony Blair once said that the art of leadership is saying “no” because it is actually easier to say “yes”.
There are times when being a leader requires sound judgement and the ability to make tough or even unpopular decisions so that things can get done, such as firing an incompetent manager, cutting costs to reflect a healthier bottom line, or even standing up to top management and fighting for employees’ interests.
People look up to their leaders for direction so that they know where to go and how to get there. The difference between a leader and a boss is that a leader leads, clearing all obstacles along the way, while the boss simply drives where he is told to go.
Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th president of the United States, could not have articulated this rule any better: “It’s the price of leadership to do the thing you believe has to be done at the time it must be done.”
3 Be a good follower
This rule is not usually touted in leadership books but is one of the most underrated and critical aspects of leadership.
Greek scientist and philosopher Aristotle believed that “he who has never learnt to obey cannot be a good commander”.
The best way to learn is to be a good follower and constantly benchmark yourself against those whom you aspire to be.
As you emulate the best leaders and learn from their success, you also learn to adjust your responses to your seniors and the situation at hand, and gain insights on how to communicate with your staff.
4 Treat your people as assets
One common trait among great leaders is that they have a strong self-awareness of their strengths and capabilities, as well as the confidence to surround themselves with great people who can complement them and compensate them in areas where they are lacking.
According to Jack Welch, GE’s visionary former chief executive officer, a leader’s role is to impart vision and a healthy corporate culture, build great people and great teams, and show them how to lead.
A good leader should also intentionally intervene, coach, mentor and influence people to perform at their best. Exercising leadership also means being able to articulate your vision powerfully and inspire your people to rally around it.
Former first lady Rosalynn Carter said: “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go but ought to be.”
5 Assess yourself regularly
Leadership is a constant, on-going process of learning and refining your management styles, influencing skills, approaches and understanding of the people working with you and for you.
To lead effectively, you need to stay ahead of the game all the time and be highly adaptable to changes and shifts in trends and attitudes.
Regular self-assessment not only keeps you on track, but it also provides great guiding principles in your leadership duties.
Do you take responsibility when things go wrong, and turn the spotlight on the people around you in good times?
Do you delegate tasks that should be yours or do everything yourself and delegate nothing?
Have you done all in your power to spur people to do their best and encourage those who haven’t?
Do you allow people to take risks, make mistakes and learn from them, or are you quick to blame?
Ultimately, there is no cookie-cutter template for leaders, and the best ones usually develop their own style of carrying the torch over the years.
The challenge of powerful leadership is to find the style that fits you best and allows you to adapt to any situation.
This also means that these leaders have an obligation to set a compelling example by incorporating a set of values, attitudes and practices not only at work, but in their personal lives as well.
There is no one-size-fits-all, pre-formulated pill to effective leadership. However, since much about it can be learnt from emulating others, this article benchmarks and examines some of the best leaders in the world to develop these “five rules of powerful leadership”:
1 Practise what you preach
More often than top managers realise, there are discrepancies between what they preach and what they actually do. Such discrepancies might even seem insignificant but could potentially cripple their credibility.
For example, if you preach work-life balance in your company and then set targets that require your staff to work long hours, it comes across as insincere. Or if you stress a “promote-from-within” culture but keep recruiting from outside to fill the senior level positions, your employees will eventually lose faith in your leadership.
Renault-Nissan’s chief executive officer Carlos Ghosn hit the nail on the head when he said: “I personally believe the best training is management by example. Don’t believe what I say. Believe what I do.”
2 Walk the tightrope
Former British prime minister Tony Blair once said that the art of leadership is saying “no” because it is actually easier to say “yes”.
There are times when being a leader requires sound judgement and the ability to make tough or even unpopular decisions so that things can get done, such as firing an incompetent manager, cutting costs to reflect a healthier bottom line, or even standing up to top management and fighting for employees’ interests.
People look up to their leaders for direction so that they know where to go and how to get there. The difference between a leader and a boss is that a leader leads, clearing all obstacles along the way, while the boss simply drives where he is told to go.
Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th president of the United States, could not have articulated this rule any better: “It’s the price of leadership to do the thing you believe has to be done at the time it must be done.”
3 Be a good follower
This rule is not usually touted in leadership books but is one of the most underrated and critical aspects of leadership.
Greek scientist and philosopher Aristotle believed that “he who has never learnt to obey cannot be a good commander”.
The best way to learn is to be a good follower and constantly benchmark yourself against those whom you aspire to be.
As you emulate the best leaders and learn from their success, you also learn to adjust your responses to your seniors and the situation at hand, and gain insights on how to communicate with your staff.
4 Treat your people as assets
One common trait among great leaders is that they have a strong self-awareness of their strengths and capabilities, as well as the confidence to surround themselves with great people who can complement them and compensate them in areas where they are lacking.
According to Jack Welch, GE’s visionary former chief executive officer, a leader’s role is to impart vision and a healthy corporate culture, build great people and great teams, and show them how to lead.
A good leader should also intentionally intervene, coach, mentor and influence people to perform at their best. Exercising leadership also means being able to articulate your vision powerfully and inspire your people to rally around it.
Former first lady Rosalynn Carter said: “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don’t necessarily want to go but ought to be.”
5 Assess yourself regularly
Leadership is a constant, on-going process of learning and refining your management styles, influencing skills, approaches and understanding of the people working with you and for you.
To lead effectively, you need to stay ahead of the game all the time and be highly adaptable to changes and shifts in trends and attitudes.
Regular self-assessment not only keeps you on track, but it also provides great guiding principles in your leadership duties.
Do you take responsibility when things go wrong, and turn the spotlight on the people around you in good times?
Do you delegate tasks that should be yours or do everything yourself and delegate nothing?
Have you done all in your power to spur people to do their best and encourage those who haven’t?
Do you allow people to take risks, make mistakes and learn from them, or are you quick to blame?
Ultimately, there is no cookie-cutter template for leaders, and the best ones usually develop their own style of carrying the torch over the years.
The challenge of powerful leadership is to find the style that fits you best and allows you to adapt to any situation.
Success is in your hands
WHEN life throws you unexpected challenges, how you handle them is what really matters.
Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”
During tough times, the solutions you come up with are proof of your mettle.
Of course, you do not have to wait for a problem to turn into an opportunity. From time to time, you may make mistakes, but you can learn from them. When something does not go the way you want, you must start taking steps to amend it.
Similarly, if opportunity does not knock on your door, then you may have to initiate the knocking yourself.
Recognise that there are times in your life when you have to make your own luck. Being optimistic and enthusiastic gives you the energy to face uncertainties and seek out new opportunities.
Here are some steps you can take to open new doors in your life:
Re-invent yourself
Take stock of the times when you have done well as well as when you have met with setbacks. In those areas that you feel you have not done well, try to think of alternatives to how similar situations can be handled should they occur again.
Doing so will allow new ideas to flow. Make room in your life to try out different things. This can include trying a new route on your way to work or home, discovering another place for lunch or reading books by an author who is new to you. Making these small changes in your life can give you fresh perspectives.
Upgrade yourself
Look at your abilities and see how else you can employ them to good use.
If you are knowledgeable in a subject, what else can you do to enhance your expertise? Can your skills be put to other uses?
Be alert to the changes that are occurring around you and decide whether you need to upgrade your skills to stay relevant.
There may be ample opportunities in your organisation to upgrade your skills. Even if you do not see immediate returns, approach such opportunities with zeal because you never know when your proficiency will come in handy.
Break your routine
People are creatures of habit and tend to settle into a comfort zone when tasked to do the same thing over and over again.
Although there is nothing intrinsically wrong with it, you may fall into the trap of becoming complacent.
To counter this, vary your patterns once in a while. You can do this by looking at other ways of handling a task at work that you perform regularly.
If you are already good at a certain duty, volunteer to do something else from time to time. Exploring uncharted territory lets you discover possibilities or opportunities you never knew existed.
Grow your knowledge
Creating opportunities in your life requires you to expand your knowledge. This, in turn, broadens your mental parameters. A liberal mind allows you to see things from different perspectives and come up with fresh ideas.
Develop the habit of reading a variety of subjects to improve your general knowledge. If you have no time, listen to audio recordings of a book or motivational speech while you are commuting to and from work.
The Internet is an extremely good source of information. You can pick up nuggets of facts and news even if you are surfing leisurely.
The secret to creating opportunities is not to always think big. Sometimes it is the little things that give you the edge.
Do not waste time waiting for your big break to come along. You have to make things happen.
As American comedian Milton Berle said: “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door!”
Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”
During tough times, the solutions you come up with are proof of your mettle.
Of course, you do not have to wait for a problem to turn into an opportunity. From time to time, you may make mistakes, but you can learn from them. When something does not go the way you want, you must start taking steps to amend it.
Similarly, if opportunity does not knock on your door, then you may have to initiate the knocking yourself.
Recognise that there are times in your life when you have to make your own luck. Being optimistic and enthusiastic gives you the energy to face uncertainties and seek out new opportunities.
Here are some steps you can take to open new doors in your life:
Re-invent yourself
Take stock of the times when you have done well as well as when you have met with setbacks. In those areas that you feel you have not done well, try to think of alternatives to how similar situations can be handled should they occur again.
Doing so will allow new ideas to flow. Make room in your life to try out different things. This can include trying a new route on your way to work or home, discovering another place for lunch or reading books by an author who is new to you. Making these small changes in your life can give you fresh perspectives.
Upgrade yourself
Look at your abilities and see how else you can employ them to good use.
If you are knowledgeable in a subject, what else can you do to enhance your expertise? Can your skills be put to other uses?
Be alert to the changes that are occurring around you and decide whether you need to upgrade your skills to stay relevant.
There may be ample opportunities in your organisation to upgrade your skills. Even if you do not see immediate returns, approach such opportunities with zeal because you never know when your proficiency will come in handy.
Break your routine
People are creatures of habit and tend to settle into a comfort zone when tasked to do the same thing over and over again.
Although there is nothing intrinsically wrong with it, you may fall into the trap of becoming complacent.
To counter this, vary your patterns once in a while. You can do this by looking at other ways of handling a task at work that you perform regularly.
If you are already good at a certain duty, volunteer to do something else from time to time. Exploring uncharted territory lets you discover possibilities or opportunities you never knew existed.
Grow your knowledge
Creating opportunities in your life requires you to expand your knowledge. This, in turn, broadens your mental parameters. A liberal mind allows you to see things from different perspectives and come up with fresh ideas.
Develop the habit of reading a variety of subjects to improve your general knowledge. If you have no time, listen to audio recordings of a book or motivational speech while you are commuting to and from work.
The Internet is an extremely good source of information. You can pick up nuggets of facts and news even if you are surfing leisurely.
The secret to creating opportunities is not to always think big. Sometimes it is the little things that give you the edge.
Do not waste time waiting for your big break to come along. You have to make things happen.
As American comedian Milton Berle said: “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door!”
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