You are a leader if someone is following you. How often have you heard the comment, “He or she is a born leader?” There are certain characteristics found in some people that seem to naturally put them in a position where they’re looked up to as a leader.
Whether in fact a person is born a leader or develops skills and abilities to become a leader is open for debate. There are some clear characteristics that are found in good leaders. These qualities can be developed or may be naturally part of their personality. Let us explore them further.
1. A good leader has an exemplary character. It is of utmost importance that a leader is trustworthy to lead others. A leader needs to be trusted and be known to live their life with honestly and integrity. A good leader “walks the talk” and in doing so earns the right to have responsibility for others. True authority is born from respect for the good character and trustworthiness of the person who leads.
2. A good leader is enthusiastic about their work or cause and also about their role as leader.
People will respond more openly to a person of passion and dedication. Leaders need to be able to be a source of inspiration, and be a motivator towards the required action or cause. Although the responsibilities and roles of a leader may be different, the leader needs to be seen to be part of the team working towards the goal. This kind of leader will not be afraid to roll up their sleeves and get dirty.
3. A good leader is confident. In order to lead and set direction a leader needs to appear confident as a person and in the leadership role.
Such a person inspires confidence in others and draws out the trust and best efforts of the team to complete the task well. A leader who conveys confidence towards the proposed objective inspires the best effort from team members.
4. A leader also needs to function in an orderly and purposeful manner in situations of uncertainty. People look to the leader during times of uncertainty and unfamiliarity and find reassurance and security when the leader portrays confidence and a positive demeanor.
5. Good leaders are tolerant of ambiguity and remain calm, composed and steadfast to the main purpose. Storms, emotions, and crises come and go and a good leader takes these as part of the journey and keeps a cool head
6. A good leader as well as keeping the main goal in focus is able to think analytically. Not only does a good leader view a situation as a whole, but is able to break it down into sub parts for closer inspection. Not only is the goal in view but a good leader can break it down into manageable steps and make progress towards it.
7. A good leader is committed to excellence. Second best does not lead to success. The good leader not only maintains high standards, but also is proactive in raising the bar in order to achieve excellence in all areas.
These seven personal characteristics are foundational to good leadership. Some characteristics may be more naturally present in the personality of a leader. However, each of these characteristics can also be developed and strengthened. A good leader whether they naturally possess these qualities or not, will be diligent to consistently develop and strengthen them in their leadership role.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A Good Leader Knows The Team's Colours
Leadership can be a very challenging task. As leaders we don't always get to choose who is on our team. In fact very often a leader inherits a team, of which most of the members have been there far longer than the leader, and may even know more about the work than the leader. Whatever the situation, one of the responsibilities of a leader is to motivate the team to all work together towards the common goal. This can be a daunting challenge. So often the team is comprised of very diverse members, each with their own strengths, weaknesses, and work styles. The team dynamics are also often complicated by internal disagreements and personal conflicts. The leader, not only has work with this group of people, but also needs to achieve the results expected by their superiors.
Leaders can great benefit by being able to identify the types of personality characteristics of team members.
By understanding the basic personality types, the leader can use individual strengths of members for the good of the team, as well as assign tasks that individual team members naturally excel in. A leader can also learn to communicate in a way that is motivating, by taking into account the needs, values and working preferences of different team members.
A good leader will see the greatest results by working and utilizing the strengths and working style characteristics of the personalities on the team. By correctly positioning the individual member strengths and compensating for weaknesses, the leader can bring the team into a productive balance and harmony.
A brief overview of the different values and working styles of the four main personality types demonstrates the importance of this knowledge being part of the successful leadership toolbox. The four types of personality will be described using the colours Gold, Blue, Green and Orange .
The strong Gold employee takes work and responsibility very seriously. Gold personalities want to contribute, be part of the team, and to be successful and productive. They respond well to recognition, rewards and incentives. However Gold team members need well defined responsibilities and structure, firm expectations and timelines as well as being reassured from authority that they are on the right track.
The strong Blue personality needs an open, social atmosphere to be able work well. Relationships are very important for them, and they need the freedom to be able to nurture relationships with coworkers, customers and employers.. Conflict and intense competition are painful for a strong Blue, but they will thrive in a positive, creative, service orientated atmosphere.
A strong Green personality is more noted for expertise rather than people skills.
They are excellent working with facts, data, research and analytical projects. Greens shine in their ability for designing, understanding complex systems and strategy. Facts are of utmost importance for the Green, but they have a weakness for routine follow through and are somewhat insensitive in social interactions.
Orange team members are noticeable by their energy, skill and creativity. A key factor for an Orange is the freedom to be able to use their skills and abilities. If there is too much structure, or their boss is very authoritarian, the orange personality feels blocked and does not function well. Orange personalities like people and work well in a spirit of teamwork, competition and camaraderie. They are action orientated, though and become impatient with prolonged talking and detailed administrative tasks.
A leader, by knowing the colours of his team, can use this knowledge to blend the team members into a unified, well coordinated picture poised for success. By facilitating each team member to function in their areas of natural strength and motivating them by communicating in a way that inspires harmony and team work, the leader is well on the way to achieving extraordinary results.
Barbara White
Leaders can great benefit by being able to identify the types of personality characteristics of team members.
By understanding the basic personality types, the leader can use individual strengths of members for the good of the team, as well as assign tasks that individual team members naturally excel in. A leader can also learn to communicate in a way that is motivating, by taking into account the needs, values and working preferences of different team members.
A good leader will see the greatest results by working and utilizing the strengths and working style characteristics of the personalities on the team. By correctly positioning the individual member strengths and compensating for weaknesses, the leader can bring the team into a productive balance and harmony.
A brief overview of the different values and working styles of the four main personality types demonstrates the importance of this knowledge being part of the successful leadership toolbox. The four types of personality will be described using the colours Gold, Blue, Green and Orange .
The strong Gold employee takes work and responsibility very seriously. Gold personalities want to contribute, be part of the team, and to be successful and productive. They respond well to recognition, rewards and incentives. However Gold team members need well defined responsibilities and structure, firm expectations and timelines as well as being reassured from authority that they are on the right track.
The strong Blue personality needs an open, social atmosphere to be able work well. Relationships are very important for them, and they need the freedom to be able to nurture relationships with coworkers, customers and employers.. Conflict and intense competition are painful for a strong Blue, but they will thrive in a positive, creative, service orientated atmosphere.
A strong Green personality is more noted for expertise rather than people skills.
They are excellent working with facts, data, research and analytical projects. Greens shine in their ability for designing, understanding complex systems and strategy. Facts are of utmost importance for the Green, but they have a weakness for routine follow through and are somewhat insensitive in social interactions.
Orange team members are noticeable by their energy, skill and creativity. A key factor for an Orange is the freedom to be able to use their skills and abilities. If there is too much structure, or their boss is very authoritarian, the orange personality feels blocked and does not function well. Orange personalities like people and work well in a spirit of teamwork, competition and camaraderie. They are action orientated, though and become impatient with prolonged talking and detailed administrative tasks.
A leader, by knowing the colours of his team, can use this knowledge to blend the team members into a unified, well coordinated picture poised for success. By facilitating each team member to function in their areas of natural strength and motivating them by communicating in a way that inspires harmony and team work, the leader is well on the way to achieving extraordinary results.
Barbara White
Six Important Managerial Skills for Successful Leadership
A mark of a good leader is to provide constant motivation to his team to maintain an excellence and quality in results. A good leader is always looking for ways to improve production and standards. Here are six skills you can develop in working to attain quality in the team.
1. Observation
This is an important aspect that often gets neglected due the demands on a leader’s time and schedule. Observation and regular visits to the work environment needs to be scheduled into the calendar. Observing employees work procedures and the work flow is foundational to implementing adjustments to improve results. To have credibility, a leader needs to be seen and be known to be up to date with what is happening in the work place.
2. Monitor Employee Performance
Employee performance needs to be monitored in mutually accepted ways.
Policies and procedures need to be clear. Conferencing should be on a regular basis and not just when there is a problem. Assessments and evaluations should not be merely all formality or paperwork to be done. Individual and group conferencing should be undertaken with the expectation of on going professional development. There should be frequent encouragement and clear criteria for on going goals both for the group and individual.
3. Implementation of Professional Development Programs
A good leader evaluates weaknesses and provides training and development strategies to strengthen the weaker skills in the team.
4. Demonstrates Working Knowledge and Expertise
Good leadership comes from a place of strong knowledge and experience of the production and process leading to results. If a leader does not posses all the expertise and knowledge personally he should then hold regular consultations with experts. This is important in order to maintain an accurate and informed overall picture.
5. Good Decision Making
Good leadership is characterized by the ability to make good decisions. A leader considers all the different factors before making a decision. A clear decision creates confidence in the leadership.
6. Ability to Conduct and Evaluate Research
On going review and research is vital in order to keep on the cutting edge in business. While managing the present to ensure on going excellence in performance and product, a good leader is also able to look towards the future. Conducting and evaluating research is an important way of planning and being prepared for the future.
Excellent leadership is always pro active rather than reactive. By developing these six managerial skills a good leader is on the journey to becoming a great leader.
1. Observation
This is an important aspect that often gets neglected due the demands on a leader’s time and schedule. Observation and regular visits to the work environment needs to be scheduled into the calendar. Observing employees work procedures and the work flow is foundational to implementing adjustments to improve results. To have credibility, a leader needs to be seen and be known to be up to date with what is happening in the work place.
2. Monitor Employee Performance
Employee performance needs to be monitored in mutually accepted ways.
Policies and procedures need to be clear. Conferencing should be on a regular basis and not just when there is a problem. Assessments and evaluations should not be merely all formality or paperwork to be done. Individual and group conferencing should be undertaken with the expectation of on going professional development. There should be frequent encouragement and clear criteria for on going goals both for the group and individual.
3. Implementation of Professional Development Programs
A good leader evaluates weaknesses and provides training and development strategies to strengthen the weaker skills in the team.
4. Demonstrates Working Knowledge and Expertise
Good leadership comes from a place of strong knowledge and experience of the production and process leading to results. If a leader does not posses all the expertise and knowledge personally he should then hold regular consultations with experts. This is important in order to maintain an accurate and informed overall picture.
5. Good Decision Making
Good leadership is characterized by the ability to make good decisions. A leader considers all the different factors before making a decision. A clear decision creates confidence in the leadership.
6. Ability to Conduct and Evaluate Research
On going review and research is vital in order to keep on the cutting edge in business. While managing the present to ensure on going excellence in performance and product, a good leader is also able to look towards the future. Conducting and evaluating research is an important way of planning and being prepared for the future.
Excellent leadership is always pro active rather than reactive. By developing these six managerial skills a good leader is on the journey to becoming a great leader.
Don't let the Out-takes of Life Take You Out!
One of my favourite things I like to watch are the bloopers and outtakes that are shown of mistakes made during the making of a movie. Most DVD’s have a section of outtakes to be viewed, and often they will set me off laughing, especially when you know what was supposed to happen.
In one sense it seems strange to laugh at other people’s mistakes, and yet we all do it, and our enjoyment is not usually of malicious intent. We laugh because we can all relate and identify how much part of being human such bloopers are!
We all make mistakes, and have many bloopers and outtakes in a lifetime. Some of them may be funny like movie bloopers, a stupid mistake and we are able to laugh at our selves. Other outtakes in life, however, are not funny, and are neither unforeseen nor self imposed. I am referring to the tragic turns of events that happen in life that can turn our life and routine around in a moment. Accidents, disaster, the death of a loved one happen unexpectedly, and can profoundly affect our lives. These are outtakes we would prefer not to happen or even replayed in life. Some of life’s outtakes have the potential to embarrass, humiliate, hurt, or disappoint us and also can stop our hopes and dreams forever.
Times of crisis and tragedy can not be prevented, but how you handle these outtakes will affect the rest of your life.
There is always a choice in any crisis. We can choose to grieve, but cling on to hope and move forward, or choose to cling onto the past and become stuck there. We cannot choose our circumstances, but we do have a choice how we respond to them. We can succumb or overcome, and our choice will determine our future. When we drive a car our focus is the road ahead; if we spend all our time looking in the rear-view mirror failure is more or less inevitable! The same is true in life, we will fail, or at best remain at a standstill if we keep looking back and focusing on the events behind us, reliving the past.
A young African-American girl was born to unwed impoverished teenagers, in the racially charged backwoods of Mississippi during the middle of the twentieth century. She was abused by male relatives, and became pregnant at age fourteen. This girl did not seem to have many choices about her future and its potential to turn around towards success. However, she determined that these devastating outtakes of her life would not predetermine her future. Despite her circumstances this girl learned how to succeed by working hard, being true to herself and communicating with compassion and honesty.
This woman’s success story may seem like a fairy tale, for Oprah Winfrey is now one of the most well known and influential women in the world. However Oprah would acknowledge that her tragic childhood experiences have helped her remain true to her commitment to persevere and aim for excellence.
Oprah Winfrey is well known for her TV show, O magazine and book club, but also for the way she had explicitly described her own battles with weight loss, depression, and relationships. She has made many connections between her past struggles and poor choices to the ‘aha’ moments that motivated her to take those experiences and learn from them, ultimately bringing her to a place more success and respect. Oprah chose to overcome, not to succumb.
Oprah is one of numerous examples of people who overcame the outtakes of their life and did not allow the odds to intimidate them. Just as actors learn from their mistakes and use them to improve their performance, so can we use our outtakes to improve our lives.
Don’t let your outtakes ‘take you out’; use them to take you forward
by Barbara White
In one sense it seems strange to laugh at other people’s mistakes, and yet we all do it, and our enjoyment is not usually of malicious intent. We laugh because we can all relate and identify how much part of being human such bloopers are!
We all make mistakes, and have many bloopers and outtakes in a lifetime. Some of them may be funny like movie bloopers, a stupid mistake and we are able to laugh at our selves. Other outtakes in life, however, are not funny, and are neither unforeseen nor self imposed. I am referring to the tragic turns of events that happen in life that can turn our life and routine around in a moment. Accidents, disaster, the death of a loved one happen unexpectedly, and can profoundly affect our lives. These are outtakes we would prefer not to happen or even replayed in life. Some of life’s outtakes have the potential to embarrass, humiliate, hurt, or disappoint us and also can stop our hopes and dreams forever.
Times of crisis and tragedy can not be prevented, but how you handle these outtakes will affect the rest of your life.
There is always a choice in any crisis. We can choose to grieve, but cling on to hope and move forward, or choose to cling onto the past and become stuck there. We cannot choose our circumstances, but we do have a choice how we respond to them. We can succumb or overcome, and our choice will determine our future. When we drive a car our focus is the road ahead; if we spend all our time looking in the rear-view mirror failure is more or less inevitable! The same is true in life, we will fail, or at best remain at a standstill if we keep looking back and focusing on the events behind us, reliving the past.
A young African-American girl was born to unwed impoverished teenagers, in the racially charged backwoods of Mississippi during the middle of the twentieth century. She was abused by male relatives, and became pregnant at age fourteen. This girl did not seem to have many choices about her future and its potential to turn around towards success. However, she determined that these devastating outtakes of her life would not predetermine her future. Despite her circumstances this girl learned how to succeed by working hard, being true to herself and communicating with compassion and honesty.
This woman’s success story may seem like a fairy tale, for Oprah Winfrey is now one of the most well known and influential women in the world. However Oprah would acknowledge that her tragic childhood experiences have helped her remain true to her commitment to persevere and aim for excellence.
Oprah Winfrey is well known for her TV show, O magazine and book club, but also for the way she had explicitly described her own battles with weight loss, depression, and relationships. She has made many connections between her past struggles and poor choices to the ‘aha’ moments that motivated her to take those experiences and learn from them, ultimately bringing her to a place more success and respect. Oprah chose to overcome, not to succumb.
Oprah is one of numerous examples of people who overcame the outtakes of their life and did not allow the odds to intimidate them. Just as actors learn from their mistakes and use them to improve their performance, so can we use our outtakes to improve our lives.
Don’t let your outtakes ‘take you out’; use them to take you forward
by Barbara White
Don’t Sell Out to Fit In
A fellow went to Zumbach the tailor to be fitted for a new suit of clothes. After Zumbach altered the suit, the man stood in front of the mirror to check the fit. At first glance he noticed that the suit jacket’s right arm sleeve was rather short, and too much of his wrist was showing. “Say, Zumbach,” the fellow noted, “this sleeve looks a little short. Would you please lengthen it?”
“The sleeve is not too short,” replied the tailor. “Your arm is too long... Just pull your arm back a few inches and you will see that the sleeve fits perfectly.” The man withdrew his arm a bit, and the sleeve was matched with his wrist. But this movement rumpled the upper portion of the jacket.
“Now the nape of the collar is several inches above my neck,” he protested." There's nothing wrong with the collar,” Zumbach insisted. “Your neck is too low. Lift the back of your neck and the jacket will fit well.” The customer raised his neck a few inches, and sure enough the collar rounded it where it was supposed to. But nöw there was another problem: the bottom of the jacket rested high above his seat.
“Now my whole rear end is sticking out!” the man complained. “No problem,” Zumbach returned. “Just lift up your rear end so it fits under the jacket.” Again the customer complied, which left his body in a very contorted posture. But Zumbach had convinced him that the problem was not with the suit, but him. So he paid the tailor for the suit and walked out of the shop in a most awkward position, struggling to keep all parts of the suit in their right places.
On the street he encountered two women walking in the opposite direction. After they passed, one woman turned to the other and commented, “That poor man is really crippled!” “He sure is,” the other replied. “But that suit looks fabulous on him.”
Our families, friends, schools, religions, and society prescribe many suits for us to wear. Some of them fit and many don’t. If a job, relationship, living situation, or spiritual path does not match you, others may try to convince you that you have a problem. A good, strong, wise, devoted, or mature person, they tell you, should be able to stay in this position and even enjoy it. Yet if such an arrangement does not bring you happiness, you only cripple yourself by trying to stuff yourself into it.
Your problem is not that you cannot live up to the standard you have chosen; your problem is that you cannot live up to a standard others have chosen for you. You will never walk comfortably in an ill-fitting suit prescribed by a shortsighted tailor. Your inability to adapt is not a sign of your weakness, but the strength of your inner guidance to remind you where your passion lives. So what you thought was wrong with you may be what’s right with you.
When Dave Barry was in junior high school, he was the class clown and often got into trouble for cracking jokes during lessons. Dave’s teacher scolded him, “You’d better get to work, Dave Barry -- you can’t joke your way through life, you know.” Now, forty years later, Dave Barry is the most successful humor writer in America.
With many popular books to his credit, he writes the most widely syndicated humor column in American newspapers. Oh, yes -- along the way he won the Pulitzer Prize. The junior high school teacher was way off the mark. Dave Barry is joking his way through life, and doing quite well at it. He is bringing laughter to millions of people, helping them lighten up about their difficulties, and earning a hefty income. What he was told was very wrong with him, was very right indeed.
No one knows your passion and purpose better than you do, and no one has to live with the results of your choices more than you do. That is why you must be very honest about what fits you and what does not.
Seminar participants often ask me, “How can I find out what is my life purpose or passion?” I tell them, “Begin to tell the impeccable truth about how everything you do feels. Is it a fit or is it not? Be true to your inclinations on the little decisions, such as where you go to dinner and with whom. When your daily decisions reflect your intentions, you will discover the big picture for your life.”
Robert Louis Stevenson noted,
“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells that you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.”
Keep your soul alive, and you will be amazed at how easily and naturally your body, relationships, prosperity, career, and entire life follow.
by Alan Cohen, M.A., is the author of 20 best-selling inspirational books...
“The sleeve is not too short,” replied the tailor. “Your arm is too long... Just pull your arm back a few inches and you will see that the sleeve fits perfectly.” The man withdrew his arm a bit, and the sleeve was matched with his wrist. But this movement rumpled the upper portion of the jacket.
“Now the nape of the collar is several inches above my neck,” he protested." There's nothing wrong with the collar,” Zumbach insisted. “Your neck is too low. Lift the back of your neck and the jacket will fit well.” The customer raised his neck a few inches, and sure enough the collar rounded it where it was supposed to. But nöw there was another problem: the bottom of the jacket rested high above his seat.
“Now my whole rear end is sticking out!” the man complained. “No problem,” Zumbach returned. “Just lift up your rear end so it fits under the jacket.” Again the customer complied, which left his body in a very contorted posture. But Zumbach had convinced him that the problem was not with the suit, but him. So he paid the tailor for the suit and walked out of the shop in a most awkward position, struggling to keep all parts of the suit in their right places.
On the street he encountered two women walking in the opposite direction. After they passed, one woman turned to the other and commented, “That poor man is really crippled!” “He sure is,” the other replied. “But that suit looks fabulous on him.”
Our families, friends, schools, religions, and society prescribe many suits for us to wear. Some of them fit and many don’t. If a job, relationship, living situation, or spiritual path does not match you, others may try to convince you that you have a problem. A good, strong, wise, devoted, or mature person, they tell you, should be able to stay in this position and even enjoy it. Yet if such an arrangement does not bring you happiness, you only cripple yourself by trying to stuff yourself into it.
Your problem is not that you cannot live up to the standard you have chosen; your problem is that you cannot live up to a standard others have chosen for you. You will never walk comfortably in an ill-fitting suit prescribed by a shortsighted tailor. Your inability to adapt is not a sign of your weakness, but the strength of your inner guidance to remind you where your passion lives. So what you thought was wrong with you may be what’s right with you.
When Dave Barry was in junior high school, he was the class clown and often got into trouble for cracking jokes during lessons. Dave’s teacher scolded him, “You’d better get to work, Dave Barry -- you can’t joke your way through life, you know.” Now, forty years later, Dave Barry is the most successful humor writer in America.
With many popular books to his credit, he writes the most widely syndicated humor column in American newspapers. Oh, yes -- along the way he won the Pulitzer Prize. The junior high school teacher was way off the mark. Dave Barry is joking his way through life, and doing quite well at it. He is bringing laughter to millions of people, helping them lighten up about their difficulties, and earning a hefty income. What he was told was very wrong with him, was very right indeed.
No one knows your passion and purpose better than you do, and no one has to live with the results of your choices more than you do. That is why you must be very honest about what fits you and what does not.
Seminar participants often ask me, “How can I find out what is my life purpose or passion?” I tell them, “Begin to tell the impeccable truth about how everything you do feels. Is it a fit or is it not? Be true to your inclinations on the little decisions, such as where you go to dinner and with whom. When your daily decisions reflect your intentions, you will discover the big picture for your life.”
Robert Louis Stevenson noted,
“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells that you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.”
Keep your soul alive, and you will be amazed at how easily and naturally your body, relationships, prosperity, career, and entire life follow.
by Alan Cohen, M.A., is the author of 20 best-selling inspirational books...
Success Through The Eyes Of A Child
Adults, with eyes to see, can learn so much about success in life from children.
When a baby is born, it has instinctively in it everything needed to succeed in life. A child is like a fresh piece of canvas, ready to become a unique contribution to the world. A child has had less exposure to adult conditioning with regards to behaviour and expectations. Every child has the seeds of success for life within them. By observing children being children, adults can re-learn principles of success that have been buried by their adult world.
As I was driving home last week, I noticed a little boy and his mother by the side of the road. They had stopped walking and the mother was adjusting a toy crossbow to fit more comfortably over the boy’s shoulder. I realized that at that moment in the heart and mind of that small boy, he was not on a sidewalk by a busy road. Perhaps he was hunting in a forest, or was an intrepid explorer of the unknown, ready to pull out his bow and arrows at the slightest hint of danger. In his imagination he was a hero, confident, skilled, and brave. He was alert, prepared, with the expectation of overcoming danger or threat with his skill and swift reflexes.
For a child involved in imaginative play, there is very little distinction between fantasy and reality. Children live and play out their dreams totally in the moment.
There are many principles of success that can be learned by looking through the eyes of a child. Children’s eyes see with clarity and perception and reflect the reality of who they are. Children are uncluttered by training, brainwashing, and by living according to the unwritten rules and etiquette that have assailed the adult mind. For a child life has limitless possibilities that have not been squashed by logic, common sense, or limiting expectations that become part of the adult mind.
What principle of success can be drawn from the little boy with his bow and arrow?
One of the most powerful and yet unused principles of success is the process of visualization. Visualization is the act of creating compelling and vivid pictures in your mind. This is just what the little boy was doing. He was “that hero”; he acted like him, dressed like him, and could picture himself in another time and another place. For him, it seemed like reality. This is a spontaneous, natural process for a child.
Researchers have found that visualization accelerates achievement in powerful ways. It has been proved by research that when performing any task in life the brain uses the same identical processes that it would if you were only vividly visualizing that activity. The brain sees no difference at all between visualizing something and actually doing it.
This principle also is applicable when a person is learning something new. Visualization makes the brain achieve more. In a study by researchers at Harvard University, it was found that students who visualized in advance were able to perform tasks with nearly 100 percent accuracy. Students who performed tasks without using visualization only achieved 55 percent accuracy.
Visualization is frequently used by Olympic and professional athletes to improve performance.
Jack Nicklaus, a legend in the golfing world, once described how he uses visualization. “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head. It’s like a color movie. First I “see” where I want it to finish, nice and white and sitting high on the bright green grass. Then the scene quickly changes, and I “see” the ball going there: its path, trajectory, and shape, even its behaviour on landing. Then there’s a sort of fade out, and the next scene shows me making the kind of swing that will turn the previous images into reality.” The results of the power of visualization for Jack Nicklaus are convincing: he has won over 100 tournaments earning over 5.7 million in the process.
For a child a high proportion of time is spent in visualization. Adults may say, “He’s only playing” and not see the potential power for success that the child is practicing. Visualization is a process that is naturally strong in the learning and formative years of the child. Research now confirms that visualization activates the creative powers of the subconscious mind. It focuses the brain by programming its reticular activating system (RAS) to notice available resources that were always there but previously unnoticed. Visualization, incredibly, also magnetizes and attracts you to the people, resources, and opportunities you need to achieve your goal.
Next time you see children playing, pause to watch visualization in its purest form. What can you learn and apply to your own life to accelerate and achieve greater success using the principle of visualization?
When a baby is born, it has instinctively in it everything needed to succeed in life. A child is like a fresh piece of canvas, ready to become a unique contribution to the world. A child has had less exposure to adult conditioning with regards to behaviour and expectations. Every child has the seeds of success for life within them. By observing children being children, adults can re-learn principles of success that have been buried by their adult world.
As I was driving home last week, I noticed a little boy and his mother by the side of the road. They had stopped walking and the mother was adjusting a toy crossbow to fit more comfortably over the boy’s shoulder. I realized that at that moment in the heart and mind of that small boy, he was not on a sidewalk by a busy road. Perhaps he was hunting in a forest, or was an intrepid explorer of the unknown, ready to pull out his bow and arrows at the slightest hint of danger. In his imagination he was a hero, confident, skilled, and brave. He was alert, prepared, with the expectation of overcoming danger or threat with his skill and swift reflexes.
For a child involved in imaginative play, there is very little distinction between fantasy and reality. Children live and play out their dreams totally in the moment.
There are many principles of success that can be learned by looking through the eyes of a child. Children’s eyes see with clarity and perception and reflect the reality of who they are. Children are uncluttered by training, brainwashing, and by living according to the unwritten rules and etiquette that have assailed the adult mind. For a child life has limitless possibilities that have not been squashed by logic, common sense, or limiting expectations that become part of the adult mind.
What principle of success can be drawn from the little boy with his bow and arrow?
One of the most powerful and yet unused principles of success is the process of visualization. Visualization is the act of creating compelling and vivid pictures in your mind. This is just what the little boy was doing. He was “that hero”; he acted like him, dressed like him, and could picture himself in another time and another place. For him, it seemed like reality. This is a spontaneous, natural process for a child.
Researchers have found that visualization accelerates achievement in powerful ways. It has been proved by research that when performing any task in life the brain uses the same identical processes that it would if you were only vividly visualizing that activity. The brain sees no difference at all between visualizing something and actually doing it.
This principle also is applicable when a person is learning something new. Visualization makes the brain achieve more. In a study by researchers at Harvard University, it was found that students who visualized in advance were able to perform tasks with nearly 100 percent accuracy. Students who performed tasks without using visualization only achieved 55 percent accuracy.
Visualization is frequently used by Olympic and professional athletes to improve performance.
Jack Nicklaus, a legend in the golfing world, once described how he uses visualization. “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head. It’s like a color movie. First I “see” where I want it to finish, nice and white and sitting high on the bright green grass. Then the scene quickly changes, and I “see” the ball going there: its path, trajectory, and shape, even its behaviour on landing. Then there’s a sort of fade out, and the next scene shows me making the kind of swing that will turn the previous images into reality.” The results of the power of visualization for Jack Nicklaus are convincing: he has won over 100 tournaments earning over 5.7 million in the process.
For a child a high proportion of time is spent in visualization. Adults may say, “He’s only playing” and not see the potential power for success that the child is practicing. Visualization is a process that is naturally strong in the learning and formative years of the child. Research now confirms that visualization activates the creative powers of the subconscious mind. It focuses the brain by programming its reticular activating system (RAS) to notice available resources that were always there but previously unnoticed. Visualization, incredibly, also magnetizes and attracts you to the people, resources, and opportunities you need to achieve your goal.
Next time you see children playing, pause to watch visualization in its purest form. What can you learn and apply to your own life to accelerate and achieve greater success using the principle of visualization?
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Reaping the Fruit of Success in Life
One way to become more successful in your life is to look at the lifestyle and habits of people who are already clearly reaping the fruits of success in life and who are living and growing towards their unique God given potential. What are some common characteristics and behaviour that we can apply to our own lives to help us on our own personal journey towards excellence'
I have spent many years studying this area, and have discovered that there are common principles and habits which successful people follow and see positive results many times over. Even people who have achieved great personal growth in their lives know the importance of having established life habits and daily motivation towards their personal goals. Here are three important keys to unleash personal growth.
Three Steps towards Success to Grow You Beyond Better.
1. Believe in yourself
"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman."
Max Lucado Best Selling Author
We all are born with a unique personality and gifts and abilities. There is a purpose for each person's life and each person possesses all that is needed to fulfill that purpose. For more information on discovering your uniqueness and purpose check out
Discovering and Celebrating Your Uniqueness
Believing in oneself is a choice we all have to make, sometimes many times a day. It is an attitude that we develop over time. It can be called self confidence, self esteem or self worth. We cannot base our belief about our worth on our past, our circumstances, or other people's opinions. We choose to believe that we are of value, have something to offer to others and the world, and that our life has purpose.
The strength of what we allow our mind to think and believe is incredibly powerful. The power of what we believe will become a self fulfilling prophecy over our life. It can be the difference between mediocrity and the results we desire. Successful people acknowledge their limitations, but keep on choosing to believe that anything is possible. It is not what life hands you that is important, but how you respond to it that makes the difference.
2. Become a life long learner
Successful people keep themselves up to date with information, which allows them to be on the cutting edge in their field of influence. As human knowledge has vastly increased, and is more accessible than ever before, so a commitment to life long learning is an important key to success. Making this a daily habit builds a solid foundation for positive growth. Many successful people are committed to reading at least one book every week. If you give one hour a day towards something you would really like to learn or accomplish in your life, it adds up to 365 hours a year!
Significant changes can happen in that amount of time. Using throw away time usefully is also a good exercise, for example listening to an audio tape or CD when traveling in the car. To grow beyond better, purposely schedule time into your day which you can use to devote to improving your mind, and increasing your skills. Consciously make the decision to assimilate and apply what you learn.
3. Keep good company.
Surround yourself with positive people. It is so easy to be affected by negativity, and drawn into that way of thinking. Make a point to mix with people who encourage you, inspire you and believe in you. Keep company with people who energize you towards reaching your goals. You tend to become like the people you spend the most time with.
Jim Rohn , a successful author and self-made millionaire wrote
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"
Increase the time you spend with positive successful people, and spend less time with those who have a negative influence on you. Being around negativity will decrease your self confidence and create discouragement. Look for new opportunities to mix with successful people. Observe and learn from their attitudes and lifestyle, and adopt and adapt things that might work in your life and situation.
I have spent many years studying this area, and have discovered that there are common principles and habits which successful people follow and see positive results many times over. Even people who have achieved great personal growth in their lives know the importance of having established life habits and daily motivation towards their personal goals. Here are three important keys to unleash personal growth.
Three Steps towards Success to Grow You Beyond Better.
1. Believe in yourself
"You weren't an accident. You weren't mass produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman."
Max Lucado Best Selling Author
We all are born with a unique personality and gifts and abilities. There is a purpose for each person's life and each person possesses all that is needed to fulfill that purpose. For more information on discovering your uniqueness and purpose check out
Discovering and Celebrating Your Uniqueness
Believing in oneself is a choice we all have to make, sometimes many times a day. It is an attitude that we develop over time. It can be called self confidence, self esteem or self worth. We cannot base our belief about our worth on our past, our circumstances, or other people's opinions. We choose to believe that we are of value, have something to offer to others and the world, and that our life has purpose.
The strength of what we allow our mind to think and believe is incredibly powerful. The power of what we believe will become a self fulfilling prophecy over our life. It can be the difference between mediocrity and the results we desire. Successful people acknowledge their limitations, but keep on choosing to believe that anything is possible. It is not what life hands you that is important, but how you respond to it that makes the difference.
2. Become a life long learner
Successful people keep themselves up to date with information, which allows them to be on the cutting edge in their field of influence. As human knowledge has vastly increased, and is more accessible than ever before, so a commitment to life long learning is an important key to success. Making this a daily habit builds a solid foundation for positive growth. Many successful people are committed to reading at least one book every week. If you give one hour a day towards something you would really like to learn or accomplish in your life, it adds up to 365 hours a year!
Significant changes can happen in that amount of time. Using throw away time usefully is also a good exercise, for example listening to an audio tape or CD when traveling in the car. To grow beyond better, purposely schedule time into your day which you can use to devote to improving your mind, and increasing your skills. Consciously make the decision to assimilate and apply what you learn.
3. Keep good company.
Surround yourself with positive people. It is so easy to be affected by negativity, and drawn into that way of thinking. Make a point to mix with people who encourage you, inspire you and believe in you. Keep company with people who energize you towards reaching your goals. You tend to become like the people you spend the most time with.
Jim Rohn , a successful author and self-made millionaire wrote
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with"
Increase the time you spend with positive successful people, and spend less time with those who have a negative influence on you. Being around negativity will decrease your self confidence and create discouragement. Look for new opportunities to mix with successful people. Observe and learn from their attitudes and lifestyle, and adopt and adapt things that might work in your life and situation.
Growing towards Excellence
Would you like to become a better person?
If I did a survey asking people this question, I'm sure I would receive 100% response YES!!!!
"Who started today deciding on one thing they were going to be aware of and work on today to make them a better person?"
I asked this question recently to a room full of people and only one person said YES!!
Many of us have desires and aspirations that we would like to see fulfilled in our lives, but are not actively taking action to make those things happen.
It can be difficult to relate what happens in the present to the results we would like to see in the future. However the future is prepared for today, by the choices we make and the way we invest our time and energy.
Most people want to be the best they can be, but get discouraged because it seems such a huge mountain to get there. We live close to Burnaby Mountain , and often take the dogs for a walk there. There is a really pleasant trail near the bottom, shaded by trees, along the bank of a stream However when it is time to walk home up the steep hill the prospect seems daunting. I can never walk up it without pausing for a break somewhere. At the steepest part of the hill every step seems a huge effort, and I eventually stop to get my breath. When I look back however, it is amazing to realize how far I've come. My whole perspective changed. The process of walking is automatic normally. When we walk, our mind focuses on other things unless the going gets tough. We make progress but it is not a conscious process. That is because walking has become a natural habit for us.
This is also true of life and the skills we learn. The mechanics of driving a vehicle become second nature, as the skills become so well practiced and familiar that we do not conscious think through each action. It becomes almost instinctive, as natural to us as breathing.
To consistently grow towards becoming better in our lives we need to create new habits that will move us there. At first implementing a new behaviour, thought pattern, or action into our lifestyle is a very conscious act. It's like walking up the steepest part of the mountain. However that is only in the beginning stages. It only takes thirty days to form a new habit. Then, that positive habit in our life becomes more a natural part of us. It moves to the more subconscious part of our life.
Pat Riley said
"Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better."
To move towards more excellence in your life, the journey starts and will continue to be one small step at a time. One small step a day is far more effective than to make a resolution to take a huge jump forward, and then not make any progress for a while.
Gradual - it is a process, and not seeing the results immediately can be discouraging. One helpful thing to do is to set small landmarks with some motivating reward when they are achieved. It is good to have the attitude and habit of always striving to do better in every area of life all the time. However I would also suggest a focus on one main thing at a time, and as that becomes habitual in your life, select another area of focus.
Always -it needs to be every day; a small discipline at first that becomes a positive habit. I would suggest developing as part of your morning routine a time and place when you deliberately pause and reflect on the new lifestyle habit you are presently working on. In that time consider how during that day you are specifically going to do or think in a different way to reinforce your growth in that area.
Set a goal for the day. It is helpful to read or carry with you a short sentence or quote that will motivate and remind you of your goal during the day. Perhaps a Post it note in the car, or kitchen as a way of re focusing during the day It needs to be a daily conscious act, otherwise days missed turn into weeks, discouragement sets in and it becomes easy to give up. When a new habit is formed and is part of your lifestyle when you look back you will be amazed at the changes you see.
To take even just a couple of minutes set aside at the beginning of your day is a very powerful key and works well. We all need frequent encouragement and motivation. It also is an excellent way to start your day positively, and will set the tone for the day.
If I did a survey asking people this question, I'm sure I would receive 100% response YES!!!!
"Who started today deciding on one thing they were going to be aware of and work on today to make them a better person?"
I asked this question recently to a room full of people and only one person said YES!!
Many of us have desires and aspirations that we would like to see fulfilled in our lives, but are not actively taking action to make those things happen.
It can be difficult to relate what happens in the present to the results we would like to see in the future. However the future is prepared for today, by the choices we make and the way we invest our time and energy.
Most people want to be the best they can be, but get discouraged because it seems such a huge mountain to get there. We live close to Burnaby Mountain , and often take the dogs for a walk there. There is a really pleasant trail near the bottom, shaded by trees, along the bank of a stream However when it is time to walk home up the steep hill the prospect seems daunting. I can never walk up it without pausing for a break somewhere. At the steepest part of the hill every step seems a huge effort, and I eventually stop to get my breath. When I look back however, it is amazing to realize how far I've come. My whole perspective changed. The process of walking is automatic normally. When we walk, our mind focuses on other things unless the going gets tough. We make progress but it is not a conscious process. That is because walking has become a natural habit for us.
This is also true of life and the skills we learn. The mechanics of driving a vehicle become second nature, as the skills become so well practiced and familiar that we do not conscious think through each action. It becomes almost instinctive, as natural to us as breathing.
To consistently grow towards becoming better in our lives we need to create new habits that will move us there. At first implementing a new behaviour, thought pattern, or action into our lifestyle is a very conscious act. It's like walking up the steepest part of the mountain. However that is only in the beginning stages. It only takes thirty days to form a new habit. Then, that positive habit in our life becomes more a natural part of us. It moves to the more subconscious part of our life.
Pat Riley said
"Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better."
To move towards more excellence in your life, the journey starts and will continue to be one small step at a time. One small step a day is far more effective than to make a resolution to take a huge jump forward, and then not make any progress for a while.
Gradual - it is a process, and not seeing the results immediately can be discouraging. One helpful thing to do is to set small landmarks with some motivating reward when they are achieved. It is good to have the attitude and habit of always striving to do better in every area of life all the time. However I would also suggest a focus on one main thing at a time, and as that becomes habitual in your life, select another area of focus.
Always -it needs to be every day; a small discipline at first that becomes a positive habit. I would suggest developing as part of your morning routine a time and place when you deliberately pause and reflect on the new lifestyle habit you are presently working on. In that time consider how during that day you are specifically going to do or think in a different way to reinforce your growth in that area.
Set a goal for the day. It is helpful to read or carry with you a short sentence or quote that will motivate and remind you of your goal during the day. Perhaps a Post it note in the car, or kitchen as a way of re focusing during the day It needs to be a daily conscious act, otherwise days missed turn into weeks, discouragement sets in and it becomes easy to give up. When a new habit is formed and is part of your lifestyle when you look back you will be amazed at the changes you see.
To take even just a couple of minutes set aside at the beginning of your day is a very powerful key and works well. We all need frequent encouragement and motivation. It also is an excellent way to start your day positively, and will set the tone for the day.
Pushing Through Our Comfort Zone
Our greatest growth in life comes from pushing through our present comfort zone. This process starts at birth. A baby feels safe, warm and secure in its mothers womb. However to stay there much longer than the gestation period would mean certain death for both the mother and child. Life began for all of us as we left the comfort and security of the womb and faced the strange and unfamiliar world outside. Our first breath is often a painful experience, a cry of protest at temporary discomfort. Yet without
this experience, our life would be fleetingly short.
Each milestone of growth and accomplishment for a young child involves leaving an existing comfort zone. The first crawl, the first step, many new, first experiences all push from the
familiar into the unknown. For the child the process of pushing through their area of comfort leads to increasing independence and the formation of their unique personality and character.
This foundational principle continues into adult life.
In order to enrich our life, it is necessary to step out of our present comfort zone. Personal growth occurs when a person moves out of
their area of comfort and into the unknown and challenge of a fresh experience. There is a stage of risk and discomfort before any significant growth in our life. For each of there comes a
point where we hold back and resist. It becomes easier to remain static and comfortable than to keep moving forward.
What holds us back?
Whenever we consider taking on a new project, or venture, or want to put ourselves out there, we feel fear. Fear is natural, and is to be expected. It is our body's way of letting us know we are moving out of our comfort zone. Fear can alert us to possible threats and dangers. However unlike our cave men predecessors,
many of the threats today are not life threatening. Fear can warn you and enable you to be more aware and cautious, but need not
stop you progressing. If you want to move forward on the journey towards where you want to be, you will have to confront your fears. Unfortunately many people allow fear to stop them, and don't achieve their goals and aspirations.
Fear does not feel comfortable, and many people want to avoid it at all costs. Everyone experiences fear.People who want to be
successful feel the fear and do it anyway! Fear is part of the package. Yes, there is always a risk of failure, but that needs to balanced with the old adage "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained". A child's risk of falling when taking those first faltering steps is high. Yet, what a transformation to a child's life once they have mastered the skill of walking! Limitless
possibilities are opened up in the child's life. The
falls and tumbles are soon forgotten overshadowed by the new adventures and experiences.
Pushing through to leave your comfort zone is hard work. Nature demonstrates that graphically for us. The chick pecking it's way out of the shell, the butterfly struggling from it's cocoon, illustrates how that struggle is necessary in order to bring life, growth and success.
The good news is that once we have faced our fears and done it anyway, we have moved forward to a new place. Every time we push through and live out of our comfort zone we will never be the same. Growth happens!
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. US Supreme Court Justice, once said
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
I believe this is true of not only our mind, but also of who we are as unique people. Life moves into a new dimension through each experience we go through in life.
However there is also the possibility that once we have pushed through our comfort zone into a new place of growth, we rest too long there, and create a different comfort zone!
Lets keep pushing through and moving forward towards growing our uniqueness and living our life fully.
this experience, our life would be fleetingly short.
Each milestone of growth and accomplishment for a young child involves leaving an existing comfort zone. The first crawl, the first step, many new, first experiences all push from the
familiar into the unknown. For the child the process of pushing through their area of comfort leads to increasing independence and the formation of their unique personality and character.
This foundational principle continues into adult life.
In order to enrich our life, it is necessary to step out of our present comfort zone. Personal growth occurs when a person moves out of
their area of comfort and into the unknown and challenge of a fresh experience. There is a stage of risk and discomfort before any significant growth in our life. For each of there comes a
point where we hold back and resist. It becomes easier to remain static and comfortable than to keep moving forward.
What holds us back?
Whenever we consider taking on a new project, or venture, or want to put ourselves out there, we feel fear. Fear is natural, and is to be expected. It is our body's way of letting us know we are moving out of our comfort zone. Fear can alert us to possible threats and dangers. However unlike our cave men predecessors,
many of the threats today are not life threatening. Fear can warn you and enable you to be more aware and cautious, but need not
stop you progressing. If you want to move forward on the journey towards where you want to be, you will have to confront your fears. Unfortunately many people allow fear to stop them, and don't achieve their goals and aspirations.
Fear does not feel comfortable, and many people want to avoid it at all costs. Everyone experiences fear.People who want to be
successful feel the fear and do it anyway! Fear is part of the package. Yes, there is always a risk of failure, but that needs to balanced with the old adage "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained". A child's risk of falling when taking those first faltering steps is high. Yet, what a transformation to a child's life once they have mastered the skill of walking! Limitless
possibilities are opened up in the child's life. The
falls and tumbles are soon forgotten overshadowed by the new adventures and experiences.
Pushing through to leave your comfort zone is hard work. Nature demonstrates that graphically for us. The chick pecking it's way out of the shell, the butterfly struggling from it's cocoon, illustrates how that struggle is necessary in order to bring life, growth and success.
The good news is that once we have faced our fears and done it anyway, we have moved forward to a new place. Every time we push through and live out of our comfort zone we will never be the same. Growth happens!
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. US Supreme Court Justice, once said
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
I believe this is true of not only our mind, but also of who we are as unique people. Life moves into a new dimension through each experience we go through in life.
However there is also the possibility that once we have pushed through our comfort zone into a new place of growth, we rest too long there, and create a different comfort zone!
Lets keep pushing through and moving forward towards growing our uniqueness and living our life fully.
Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?
For many people happiness is an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. The child sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. With eyes of wonder the child wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in their hands.
The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower.
Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.
As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words "if only" become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. If only I had more money I
would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our "if only" desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach. The truth of the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence " becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness keep growing in our life and experience.
The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances.
To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally.
External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner life. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for
our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.
Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life-the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life.
If we neglect any one of
these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing. There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such
frustration.
Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.
The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower.
Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.
As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words "if only" become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. If only I had more money I
would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our "if only" desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach. The truth of the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence " becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness keep growing in our life and experience.
The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances.
To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally.
External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner life. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for
our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.
Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life-the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life.
If we neglect any one of
these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing. There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such
frustration.
Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.
Life is a Gift, Open and Enjoy It
There is a bottle of perfume sitting on my dresser that I was given when I was ten years old! As you can tell I have pack rat tendencies! For me that pattern started as a young child. I could never bear to throw things away. There was more to it than not wanting to throw things away. I loved the feeling I had when I would receive something new, and would not want to spoil it by using it unless it was for something special. I would want to save it for a special occasion. A new dress would sit in the closet, until a special event to wear it. Perfume would sit on my dresser, not to be used for everyday, but for a special 'something'. This was a pattern in my life for many years. She lit that candle that had been sitting as a centre piece on the dining room table collecting dust. She got that cracked window fixed, that she'd been meaning to do for years. She invited those friends round for dinner that she'd seen at the last sixteen weddings, and said we must get together.
Recently though I've realized that this is not the best perspective to live life.
I don't want to be like that woman on the Titanic, who when was being lowered into the lifeboat said 'If I'd known this was going to happen I would have had that Chocolate Mousse dessert.' This reflects a view of life that speaks a lie. It is a false belief that if I enjoy something now, I won't be able to look forward to anything good like that in the future. This belief steals the joy from living in the present, and also lies to me about what the future might hold.
Often it takes sad or traumatic situation to cause a person to stop and take stock their life's perspective and lifestyle. For example, let me tell you how it happened for Ruth .
One day, out of the blue, Ruth got one of those devastating 'phone calls' that we all dread receiving. Her sister Jane had passed away unexpectedly. Ruth went over to the home to help her brother in law with the sad task of preparation for the funeral. They were in the bedroom deciding on clothes Jane would wear as she was laid to rest. He pulled out of the drawer some beautiful lingerie wrapped in tissue. Ruth gasped as she saw the astronomical cost on the price tag. ' Jane bought this in Paris 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. I guess this is it.' he said. It was exquisitely, handmade in silk, with a delicate cobweb of lace. As he slammed the drawer shut he said something that changed Ruth 's life for ever. 'Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion!
After the funeral, Ruth began to evaluate her life from a different perspective. She began to see life as something to be enjoyed not endured. Ruth started to make changes, although small at first, for Ruth they had great significance. She sat in the garden more and didn't worry about the weeds. She wore expensive perfume on ordinary days, after all co workers and cashiers have noses that function just as well as party goers! She lit that candle that had been sitting as a centre piece on the dining room table collecting dust. She got that cracked window fixed, that she'd been meaning to do for years. She invited those friends round for dinner that she'd seen at the last sixteen weddings, and said we must get together.
Ruth determined that she would live each day as if it was her last. Now every morning when Ruth opens her eyes, she tells herself that this day is special. Every day, every breath, every minute of her life is truly a gift from God.
Your life perspective changes when you start living each day as if it was your last. You start to look at all the things that you want to accomplish in life and actually get started!! You stop watching everyone else doing it. Have the courage to start thinking 'It's my turn now' and do what is in your heart. Grandma Moses began a painting career at age seventy six. Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969 at age seventy one. I recently met a lady in her eighties who, in the last two years, had been white-water rafting, and hiking in the Himalayas . She was excitedly planning her next trip!
Don't wait years, or until something traumatic happens to get your attention. Start now to reflect on your life's perspective and begin living without regrets.
I love this quote by Peter Sage , speaker and entrepreneur:
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow - What a Ride!"
by Barbara White
Recently though I've realized that this is not the best perspective to live life.
I don't want to be like that woman on the Titanic, who when was being lowered into the lifeboat said 'If I'd known this was going to happen I would have had that Chocolate Mousse dessert.' This reflects a view of life that speaks a lie. It is a false belief that if I enjoy something now, I won't be able to look forward to anything good like that in the future. This belief steals the joy from living in the present, and also lies to me about what the future might hold.
Often it takes sad or traumatic situation to cause a person to stop and take stock their life's perspective and lifestyle. For example, let me tell you how it happened for Ruth .
One day, out of the blue, Ruth got one of those devastating 'phone calls' that we all dread receiving. Her sister Jane had passed away unexpectedly. Ruth went over to the home to help her brother in law with the sad task of preparation for the funeral. They were in the bedroom deciding on clothes Jane would wear as she was laid to rest. He pulled out of the drawer some beautiful lingerie wrapped in tissue. Ruth gasped as she saw the astronomical cost on the price tag. ' Jane bought this in Paris 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. I guess this is it.' he said. It was exquisitely, handmade in silk, with a delicate cobweb of lace. As he slammed the drawer shut he said something that changed Ruth 's life for ever. 'Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion!
After the funeral, Ruth began to evaluate her life from a different perspective. She began to see life as something to be enjoyed not endured. Ruth started to make changes, although small at first, for Ruth they had great significance. She sat in the garden more and didn't worry about the weeds. She wore expensive perfume on ordinary days, after all co workers and cashiers have noses that function just as well as party goers! She lit that candle that had been sitting as a centre piece on the dining room table collecting dust. She got that cracked window fixed, that she'd been meaning to do for years. She invited those friends round for dinner that she'd seen at the last sixteen weddings, and said we must get together.
Ruth determined that she would live each day as if it was her last. Now every morning when Ruth opens her eyes, she tells herself that this day is special. Every day, every breath, every minute of her life is truly a gift from God.
Your life perspective changes when you start living each day as if it was your last. You start to look at all the things that you want to accomplish in life and actually get started!! You stop watching everyone else doing it. Have the courage to start thinking 'It's my turn now' and do what is in your heart. Grandma Moses began a painting career at age seventy six. Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969 at age seventy one. I recently met a lady in her eighties who, in the last two years, had been white-water rafting, and hiking in the Himalayas . She was excitedly planning her next trip!
Don't wait years, or until something traumatic happens to get your attention. Start now to reflect on your life's perspective and begin living without regrets.
I love this quote by Peter Sage , speaker and entrepreneur:
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, "Wow - What a Ride!"
by Barbara White
Seven Steps to Reaching Your Goals
Successfully executing any personal strategic plan for change requires that as you develop your plan, you effectively incorporate these seven steps for attaining each and every goal.
1. Express your goal in terms of specific events or behaviors.
For a dream to become a goal, it has to be specifically defined in terms of operations, meaning what will be done. When a goal is broken down into steps, it can be managed and pursued much more directly. "Being happy,"
for example, is neither an event nor a behavior. When you set out to identify a goal, define what you want in clear and specific terms.
2. Express your goal in terms that can be measured.
How else will you be able to determine your level of progress, or even know when you have successfully arrived where you wanted to be? For instance, how much money do you aspire to make?
3. Assign a timeline to your goal.
Once you have determined precisely what it is you want, you must decide on a timeframe for having it.
The deadline you've created fosters a sense of urgency or purpose, which in turn will serve as an important motivator, and prevent inertia or procrastination.
4. Choose a goal you can control.
Unlike dreams, which allow you to fantasize about events over which you have no control, goals have to do with aspects of your existence that you control and can therefore manipulate. In identifying your goal, strive for what you can create, not for what you can't.
5. Plan and program a strategy that will get you to your goal.
Pursuing a goal seriously requires that you realistically assess the obstacles and resources involved, and that you create a strategy for navigating that reality. Willpower is unreliable, fickle fuel because it is based on your emotions. Your environment, your schedule and your accountability must be programmed in such a way that all three support you ?long after an emotional high is gone.
Life is full of temptations and opportunities to fail. Those temptations and opportunities compete with your more constructive and task-oriented behavior. Without programming, you will find it much harder to stay the course.
6. Define your goal in terms of steps.
Major life changes don't just happen; they happen one step at a time.
Steady progress, through well-chosen, realistic, interval steps, produces results in the end. Know what those steps are before you set out.
7. Create accountability for your progress toward your goal.
Without accountability, people are apt to con themselves. If you know precisely what you want, when you want it ?and there are real consequences for not doing the assigned work ?you are much more likely to continue in your pursuit of your goal. Find someone in your circle of family or friends to whom you can be accountable. Make periodic reports on your progress.
Dr Phil McGraw, a life strategist, human behavior expert, and author of five # 1 New York Times bestsellers. His books have been published in 37 languages with over 22 million copies in print.
1. Express your goal in terms of specific events or behaviors.
For a dream to become a goal, it has to be specifically defined in terms of operations, meaning what will be done. When a goal is broken down into steps, it can be managed and pursued much more directly. "Being happy,"
for example, is neither an event nor a behavior. When you set out to identify a goal, define what you want in clear and specific terms.
2. Express your goal in terms that can be measured.
How else will you be able to determine your level of progress, or even know when you have successfully arrived where you wanted to be? For instance, how much money do you aspire to make?
3. Assign a timeline to your goal.
Once you have determined precisely what it is you want, you must decide on a timeframe for having it.
The deadline you've created fosters a sense of urgency or purpose, which in turn will serve as an important motivator, and prevent inertia or procrastination.
4. Choose a goal you can control.
Unlike dreams, which allow you to fantasize about events over which you have no control, goals have to do with aspects of your existence that you control and can therefore manipulate. In identifying your goal, strive for what you can create, not for what you can't.
5. Plan and program a strategy that will get you to your goal.
Pursuing a goal seriously requires that you realistically assess the obstacles and resources involved, and that you create a strategy for navigating that reality. Willpower is unreliable, fickle fuel because it is based on your emotions. Your environment, your schedule and your accountability must be programmed in such a way that all three support you ?long after an emotional high is gone.
Life is full of temptations and opportunities to fail. Those temptations and opportunities compete with your more constructive and task-oriented behavior. Without programming, you will find it much harder to stay the course.
6. Define your goal in terms of steps.
Major life changes don't just happen; they happen one step at a time.
Steady progress, through well-chosen, realistic, interval steps, produces results in the end. Know what those steps are before you set out.
7. Create accountability for your progress toward your goal.
Without accountability, people are apt to con themselves. If you know precisely what you want, when you want it ?and there are real consequences for not doing the assigned work ?you are much more likely to continue in your pursuit of your goal. Find someone in your circle of family or friends to whom you can be accountable. Make periodic reports on your progress.
Dr Phil McGraw, a life strategist, human behavior expert, and author of five # 1 New York Times bestsellers. His books have been published in 37 languages with over 22 million copies in print.
Deep within us all is the aspiration to be comfortable in our own skin, confidently and securely living and enjoying our uniqueness as an individual in our daily life. Sadly few people are fulfilling that desire, and are held back by invisible barriers restraining attempts at authentic living. The thought of showing what we are really like generates fears of vulnerability and rejection. Having an awareness of the invisible barriers that stop us living authentically is the first step to breaking free of them. This article examines three common barriers that prevent living an authentic lifestyle.
Tunnel vision
We perceive and see ourselves through our own form of tunnel vision. The way we were parented, the culture and environment in which we were raised, our past experiences, our established values and beliefs have all conditioned us to think, behave and respond in certain ways. We are unconsciously biased to these familiar patterns and these have a strong influence on the way we respond and react. Even though you may have a desire to behave and respond differently, you feel comfortable and more secure in your tunnel. To consider operating outside of the familiarity of the tunnel brings feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty. A changed response or behavior that takes you out of that comfort zone may feel risky, and even ‘wrong’. Change is not necessarily wrong, but it is different and takes courage to implement as the implications and consequences of living outside of our tunnel are unknown.
The People Factor
The need to be accepted, liked and approved of by other people is very strong. We like to please others and be respected, and this often governs our behavior. Very often our behavior towards other people is based on a false belief. We believe that we have the power to make others happy by the way we act and the things we say. This belief causes us not to communicate what we really think or need, and we adapt our behavior to please others first instead of being true to our inner self. The reality is we do not have the power to make another person happy, only they have that power. The choices and control we have are over our own happiness and behavior, not others, and we cannot take on responsibility for the choices and decisions they make. This, however, does not give us the liberty to bulldoze our way through life with the attitude of ‘It’s my way or the highway’. In being real and authentic to who we really are, we still have the responsibility to communicate our choices and responses to others firmly and clearly, but without any accusation or aggression. The choices and decisions we make are not about or for others, but about us.
Societal Expectations
We are constantly bombarded my messages from society that restrain us from living authentically. Advertising, in particular, strongly influences our perceptions and expectations of, for example, what an acceptable body image is like, how we can be happy, have fun and enjoy popularity. Advertising and the media imply that the car we drive, the food we eat and the clothes we wear determine who we are as a person and how we should act and behave. These expectations cause us to conform, or aspire to be different to who we really are. Uniqueness and authenticity are rarely modeled as desirable or acceptable in society and culture, rather it is the exception rather than the norm.
Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life
Awareness of these barriers that conflict with our desire to live authentically give us an opportunity to reassess our beliefs and conditioned responses that have been the governing yardstick of the choices and decisions we make in daily life. As we learn to listen to our authentic self and notice the motives that determine our behavior and choices, we can begin to make changes that empower us to live a more authentic lifestyle
Barbara White
Tunnel vision
We perceive and see ourselves through our own form of tunnel vision. The way we were parented, the culture and environment in which we were raised, our past experiences, our established values and beliefs have all conditioned us to think, behave and respond in certain ways. We are unconsciously biased to these familiar patterns and these have a strong influence on the way we respond and react. Even though you may have a desire to behave and respond differently, you feel comfortable and more secure in your tunnel. To consider operating outside of the familiarity of the tunnel brings feelings of fear, insecurity and uncertainty. A changed response or behavior that takes you out of that comfort zone may feel risky, and even ‘wrong’. Change is not necessarily wrong, but it is different and takes courage to implement as the implications and consequences of living outside of our tunnel are unknown.
The People Factor
The need to be accepted, liked and approved of by other people is very strong. We like to please others and be respected, and this often governs our behavior. Very often our behavior towards other people is based on a false belief. We believe that we have the power to make others happy by the way we act and the things we say. This belief causes us not to communicate what we really think or need, and we adapt our behavior to please others first instead of being true to our inner self. The reality is we do not have the power to make another person happy, only they have that power. The choices and control we have are over our own happiness and behavior, not others, and we cannot take on responsibility for the choices and decisions they make. This, however, does not give us the liberty to bulldoze our way through life with the attitude of ‘It’s my way or the highway’. In being real and authentic to who we really are, we still have the responsibility to communicate our choices and responses to others firmly and clearly, but without any accusation or aggression. The choices and decisions we make are not about or for others, but about us.
Societal Expectations
We are constantly bombarded my messages from society that restrain us from living authentically. Advertising, in particular, strongly influences our perceptions and expectations of, for example, what an acceptable body image is like, how we can be happy, have fun and enjoy popularity. Advertising and the media imply that the car we drive, the food we eat and the clothes we wear determine who we are as a person and how we should act and behave. These expectations cause us to conform, or aspire to be different to who we really are. Uniqueness and authenticity are rarely modeled as desirable or acceptable in society and culture, rather it is the exception rather than the norm.
Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life
Awareness of these barriers that conflict with our desire to live authentically give us an opportunity to reassess our beliefs and conditioned responses that have been the governing yardstick of the choices and decisions we make in daily life. As we learn to listen to our authentic self and notice the motives that determine our behavior and choices, we can begin to make changes that empower us to live a more authentic lifestyle
Barbara White
Moving on into Life and More Freedom
New Year is a time when many people reflect and evaluate their life and look forward to implementing changes to move towards a better lifestyle. New Years resolutions are often made as people try to deal with the external aspects of their life, for example, bad habits, better lifestyle, or improved relationships.
Reflecting on life and making plans for improving life is a good process to work through anytime, whether it be a new year or not. However, one of the reasons many people fail quickly putting their good intentions into action is because they don't understand a very basic principle.
There is a foundational truth that underlies all change, which is, that in order to embrace the new, we need to release the old. If you want to go forward in your life, you need to let go of the things in your past that will impede or even prevent you moving on. This can be likened to trying to walk forward while looking backwards; progress is less than satisfactory.
This article explores some of the reasons why we should look at freeing ourselves from negative aspects of the past, in order to move forward towards our dreams and goals.
In life bad stuff happens. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life for everyone. Majority of people don't realize however, that it is their response to the events in their lives that have a lasting impact, not the event itself.
When something bad happens, it is natural to go through a time of remorse, regret and sorrow. However, in order to move forward you need to arrive at a place where you consciously make a decision to let go and move on. This involves making a decision to stop re-living and dwelling on that event over and over again in your memory. If you don't decide to move on, those events and set-backs in your life start to become your identity.
By continuing to dwell on events and set-backs a door is opened for resentment, hurt, grudges, self pity, excuses, and bitterness to take root in your heart and life. This starts to build walls of separation. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are not. We are, in fact, shutting other people out of our lives, resulting in becoming increasingly alone, isolated, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness. It is these walls that keep our dreams and good intentions from coming to pass.
The key to unlocking the door of our self made prison is forgiveness. We do not have the power to change the past whether it be events or situations. Forgiveness cut us loose and frees us to move forward and create a new future.
Forgiveness is not just about the other person. Very often we need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and disappointments and let ourselves off the hook too.
As you move into a new year, I encourage you to let go of the things that are holding you back. Stop carrying that extra baggage-set yourself free to make a new start. Forgive people who have hurt you; let go of the things that have been done to you. Get bitterness out of your life! Forgive yourself, and then let it go. As you move forward into the new year, free of old baggage, you will start catching glimpses of fresh hope and of a new future.
By Barbara White
Reflecting on life and making plans for improving life is a good process to work through anytime, whether it be a new year or not. However, one of the reasons many people fail quickly putting their good intentions into action is because they don't understand a very basic principle.
There is a foundational truth that underlies all change, which is, that in order to embrace the new, we need to release the old. If you want to go forward in your life, you need to let go of the things in your past that will impede or even prevent you moving on. This can be likened to trying to walk forward while looking backwards; progress is less than satisfactory.
This article explores some of the reasons why we should look at freeing ourselves from negative aspects of the past, in order to move forward towards our dreams and goals.
In life bad stuff happens. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life for everyone. Majority of people don't realize however, that it is their response to the events in their lives that have a lasting impact, not the event itself.
When something bad happens, it is natural to go through a time of remorse, regret and sorrow. However, in order to move forward you need to arrive at a place where you consciously make a decision to let go and move on. This involves making a decision to stop re-living and dwelling on that event over and over again in your memory. If you don't decide to move on, those events and set-backs in your life start to become your identity.
By continuing to dwell on events and set-backs a door is opened for resentment, hurt, grudges, self pity, excuses, and bitterness to take root in your heart and life. This starts to build walls of separation. We think we are protecting ourselves, but we are not. We are, in fact, shutting other people out of our lives, resulting in becoming increasingly alone, isolated, warped, and imprisoned by our own bitterness. It is these walls that keep our dreams and good intentions from coming to pass.
The key to unlocking the door of our self made prison is forgiveness. We do not have the power to change the past whether it be events or situations. Forgiveness cut us loose and frees us to move forward and create a new future.
Forgiveness is not just about the other person. Very often we need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and disappointments and let ourselves off the hook too.
As you move into a new year, I encourage you to let go of the things that are holding you back. Stop carrying that extra baggage-set yourself free to make a new start. Forgive people who have hurt you; let go of the things that have been done to you. Get bitterness out of your life! Forgive yourself, and then let it go. As you move forward into the new year, free of old baggage, you will start catching glimpses of fresh hope and of a new future.
By Barbara White
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